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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#71

Post by ge96 »

fundad wrote: post #63
ge96 wrote: post #46

Somewhat a tangent response I have a fear of crowds and bums. Not where I'm paralyzed/medicated but one thing I'm trying to do is go downtown and do street photography. I wonder how do I say no to a stranger asking me for money. Or fear of getting robbed. It's not like my camera gear is that expensive but yeah. This would push me to get out there more as I've lived in the same place for 10 yrs and I haven't really ex…

I found it uncomfortable as a kid when I saw how my parents handled begging: ignoring it. I remember one time my father saying "that's ok". And I either say "no, sorry" or ignore. I've heard of kids from cities being given money so they always have something to give a mugger instead of looking like you're holding out, I don't go that far but I remember it to keep perspective. I recently made an effort to carry cash w…

Yeah it's funny I'll sound like I'm virtue signaling here, I donate. Food groups, NHA, stuff like that. Where I live there's usually a person at a red light waiting to "ambush" you. Same at a grocery store, soon as you exit the door solicitors going "excuse me sir".

But yeah it would be easy to just have a $5 to hand out. It's just you know how many people are there and will it stop there kind of thing. Yeah I sound like an asshole I get it. I also have sent over $100K to my own family in support and I'm -$80K in debt so it's not like I'm hoarding my money or something.

It just annoys me. But sure it'll be easier to just say "here you go" and hand out cash.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#72

Post by wjholden »

Sports. CrossFit and similar social sports have been healthy for me and for many others, and I think the community is at least equal to the exercise in improving people's lives.

Not saying this is the only way, but it made a big difference for me and my friends. I realize the physical challenges are artificial, but so is an Advent of Code puzzle when you already have a day job. Hard things are worth doing because they're hard, and they're even better when done together with those you love.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#73

Post by nyrikki »

arjie wrote: post #18

I am somewhat suspicious of this loneliness epidemic. 81% of Americans are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. And my personal experience is that both close friends and general civil community is easy to find[1]. I wasn't trying at all so it can't be that there are any real constraints here. 0: https://news.gallup.com/poll/655493/new-low-satisfied-person... 1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.d…

I don't think [0] is showing what you think it does.

> % Very satisfied with the way things are going in personal life

That Dropped from 65% in 2020 to 44% in 2025

> Record-Low 44% of Americans Are 'Very Satisfied' With Their Personal Life

Also focusing on the raw percentages of these style reports is challenging, due to socially desirable response bias [0]

The fact it is dropping is the important part, it is a relative measure, not a absolute one, and I am sure Gallop would change there questions/responses in a modern survey that didn't need to maintain compatibility with historical data.

[0] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5519338/

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#74

Post by peterspath »

Go to church.

Data from various studies, including those from academic institutions and public health organisations, supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community.

1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/

2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-flourishing/20...

3. https://hrbopenresearch.org/articles/7-76

4. https://www.cardus.ca/research/health/reports/social-isolati...

5. there are plenty more...

also if you allow anecdotal data:

I have been going to a church half a year now, and the sense of community is amazing, made new friends and know more people I could dream of. So there is a way, there is a light. Never felt lonely again since.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#75

Post by nuancebydefault »

ge96 wrote: post #46

Somewhat a tangent response I have a fear of crowds and bums. Not where I'm paralyzed/medicated but one thing I'm trying to do is go downtown and do street photography. I wonder how do I say no to a stranger asking me for money. Or fear of getting robbed. It's not like my camera gear is that expensive but yeah. This would push me to get out there more as I've lived in the same place for 10 yrs and I haven't really ex…

What I found after many years, is that women (people in general, really) are not attracted to people who try too hard to get attention from them. Going through great lengths tends to result in being labeled as desperate or creepy. Try just to be friendly and talk "with" them and not "to" them, almost as if you are one of them. By doing that often enough, it will feel less awkward. Practice makes perfect. And then one day you feel a click with someone. Just my few cents.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#76

Post by bherms »

ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

this is one reason, while i personally work from home, i actually lament that many 20-somethings will never be in an office

i'm nearing 40, have a wife and kid, house in the mountains, etc... but, damn, those office days were foundational to the person I am today

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#77

Post by theroncross »

ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

Agreed. I'm not sure how it happened, but it feels like we've experienced a societal shift where a large number of people now expect and wait for other people to create nicely packaged solutions to their (real or imagined) problems. From social apps to medicine to play dates to curated vacations, too many people are unwilling to face "the great unknown" that is just going out and seeing what happens, warts and all. Somehow the ability of boomers to make conversation with strangers has become a meme instead of a norm - they're good at it because they practice it.
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