Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

news.ycombinator.com

31–40 of 1001 posts

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#31

In the past, whenever I felt lonely and hopeless, I jumped into helping others: volunteering, helping an old neighbor garden, help someone move, etc. Helping people gave me a short-term purpose, which eventually let me ride out the low phase of life. YMMV, of course.

I have noticed that doing the sign leads to some good conversations in which I've helped someone in a small way, and that gave me a nice little dopamine boost. It's also led to about half a dozen genuine friendships over the past few months. I wonder if that's the answer, a sort of meta-solution: organizing this thing I'm doing into something that other people in the same situation can do, as a way of meeting people and getting outside their comfort zone. Like setting up a chess table in public if chess is your thing. But no, there are already public chess tables, and they'd have already done that. I don't know, just thinking out loud.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#32
post #18

I am somewhat suspicious of this loneliness epidemic. 81% of Americans are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. And my personal experience is that both close friends and general civil community is easy to find[1]. I wasn't trying at all so it can't be that there are any real constraints here. 0: https://news.gallup.com/poll/655493/new-low-satisfied-person... 1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.d…

> 81% of Americans are satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0].

No, 81% are "very satisfied" or "somewhat satisfied". I don't think "satisfied" is synonymous with "somewhat satisfied".

It's worth noting, as the article states, that this is the lowest value in the history of the poll, going back to 2001.

It shouldn't be too surprising that the overall value is high and stable over time. Hedonic adaptation[1] is a core property of our emotional wiring. The fact that the value is the lowest it's been in a quarter century should still be ringing alarm bells. We are not OK.

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#33
post #16

Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius Make them interact and do things, generally they will be less toxic because it will reduce their online disinhibition effect. Make them have meals, meet, walk at the park, whatever.

> Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius…

Don't know if they still do, but Nextdoor required address verification via a postcard early on. I was pretty shocked at what some people in my area would post under their real names and locations.

(And well outside the realm of political nonsense. Someone posted a pic of their toddler's first poop in the potty.)

I think the power of shame has reduced significantly in recent years.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#35
Affordable third places[0] where people can impromptu join and serendipitously meet friendly faces repeatedly. All of my strong friendships were from exactly this at either skateparks, college dorm common area, or run clubs. Churches had this figured out for millenia

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#38
post #30
post #18

I am somewhat suspicious of this loneliness epidemic. 81% of Americans are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. And my personal experience is that both close friends and general civil community is easy to find[1]. I wasn't trying at all so it can't be that there are any real constraints here. 0: https://news.gallup.com/poll/655493/new-low-satisfied-person... 1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.d…

Did you read the article you cited or are you just evaluating the snapshot of numbers? > WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Forty-four percent of Americans say they are “very satisfied” with the way things are going in their personal life, the lowest by two percentage points in Gallup’s trend dating back to 2001. This also marks the continuation of a decline in personal satisfaction since January 2020, when the measure peaked at 65…

My blog post is a more detailed expression of a sentence that starts with "my personal experience". I think that's fine.

And of course I read the article. That's why my sentence explicitly says "satisfied or very satisfied" whereas the text you quote only selects the "very satisfied". One can imagine that if I had only linked without reading I could not possibly have guessed 81% correctly either.

I'm not saying "just stop being depressed". I'm questioning that any significant portion of the population is depressed. I think that's valid.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#40
There is a gap between thinking and action. I think the social media and gaming and online stimulions currently designed to bombard and drain your thinking brain, leaves nothing for the action you and your body needs to take. Your brain only has so much chemistry to trigger neural activation and we are blowing it on mental stress to the point where the body doesn’t have any more mental energy to tackle real world stress or handle real world emotions.

Try an A/B test. Do days with zero screen stimuli - no TV, no phones, no online interaction. Go into the world to a cafe, or a common area with people and do stuff. See how you feel and what you feel up to. Vacations might be good and relaxing because you disconnect. Maybe do it without paying for it.

Post reply on HN