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Parental controls aren't for parents

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Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#161

Post by micromacrofoot »

fn-mote wrote: post #63

Dear All, As you post, please be clear what age range child you are discussing. There are a lot of posts here advocating strategies that make sense for a 10 year old but are ridiculous for a 15 year old. Remember: once the children have friends with unrestricted cell phones (essentially all 14+ year olds in the us), there are many many more options for them to go online. Also, I got my start as a “hacker” gaming, che…

and I was groomed and raped at age 13 because I had unfettered access to AOL chat rooms

caution is necessary and kids can learn plenty without unrestricted access

I personally would have been better off without internet access, no knowledge of hex dumps would have been worth it. It's a little upsetting that you're using that as an example of why kids should have more permissive access.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#162

Post by carlosjobim »

TimTheTinker wrote: post #83
alembic_fumes wrote: post #69

This pervasive desire to block, protect, monitor, and control your children's online activities through nebulous supervision tools seems like a particularly American solution to a particularly American problem. Much like how little Timmy simply can't go out to play without a GPS anklet and an air tag behind each ear, so too can't he go online without a supervised account on a supervised device on a supervised connect…

Europeans have trouble understanding in part because social trust is still high in many parts of Europe due to regional monoculturalism.

"Horrific betrayal..."

Online grooming happens on a gigantic scale in Europe. It just doesn't get the headlines it should. And parents don't care to protect their children. They're busy.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#163

Post by natnatenathan »

hnlmorg wrote: post #26

I really want to sympathise with the author but this feels more like a one-sided rant piece than a constructive article. For example, in one paragraph they complain that “I don’t want my son to get online” then literally the following paragraph they complain that they need a Switch Online membership to get their son online. If you want your Nintendo Switch to “behave like a Gameboy” then don’t get the online membersh…

Part of the point is that you cannot use it without it being online. This is a big difference between the Switch and Switch 2.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#164

Post by cameldrv »

alembic_fumes wrote: post #69

This pervasive desire to block, protect, monitor, and control your children's online activities through nebulous supervision tools seems like a particularly American solution to a particularly American problem. Much like how little Timmy simply can't go out to play without a GPS anklet and an air tag behind each ear, so too can't he go online without a supervised account on a supervised device on a supervised connect…

You shouldn't constantly be hovering over your kids. Still, you don't want them to get in serious trouble. As a parent, you can curate the options they have without knowing exactly what they are doing. You can fill bookshelves with appropriate books, and if you see them reading on the couch, you don't need to know exactly what they're reading. Some people also are able to control where they live, what schools their kids go to, what friends you invite over to your house, etc.

One day your kid might have the friend over that you suspect might be trouble. You check in a little more often. Online is harder. You see them with the device, and without controls, what's going on could be almost anything.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#166

Post by jjulius »

krapp wrote: post #137
logicchains wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Why did you edit out the part about being "as racist as they come?" Come now, stand behind your principles.

>Come now, stand behind your principles.

Are we 100% sure that the edit wasn't a result of a reevaluation of "principles"?

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#167

Post by zaphar »

GuestFAUniverse wrote: post #10
zaphar wrote: post #4

I don't know if this works for anyone other than our family but when we were raising our kids we solved this by the simple of expedient that gaming and computer use was done with us as parents present. Full stop. It was not a solo activity for our kids. We could directly view everything they were doing online the entire time.

Congratulations that you had that luxury. Sounds barely realistic, when school are using iPads, education is one URL away from entertainment crack and parental controls on iOS are a joke.

I'm sorry you feel like it's out of reach of so many. We definitely had to sacrifice a number of things to make it happen. It's not like it was necessarily easy. Unless you are in the unfortunate position of being an only parent this can be an area where you have choice. You can:

1. Ask your school to change their policies. Coordinate with other parents. Make it clear to the school that if they don't start to enforce these policies then you will hold the school directly responsible for any harm that comes to your child in the environment they create.

2. Pick different schools. (Home School, Private school) if you can afford it. Charter schools may be an option.

Both of these require sacrifice on your part and neither are easy. But no one should ever think parenting is easy.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#168

Post by vorpalhex »

cevn wrote: post #109
mothballed wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the parents obligation to educate their child. It's the child's obligation to use that education wisely. There were no trackers on cars when I started driving at 15 so my parents drove with me for a few months and after that I was on my own. There were no gun laws against kids having guns when I was 7 so my dad showed me how to use one safely and after that I was set loose upon the countryside armed on my own. T…

You were loose with a gun at age 7?!

One of my uncles was asked to stop bringing his rifle to highschool because him and one of the teachers kept talking about hunting in the parking lot and getting to class late. The principle felt they were likely to at least make it in the building on time if they weren't chatting in the parking lot about their rifles/hunts/etc.

People used to have an insane amount of freedom and things generally went better.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#169

Post by logicchains »

krapp wrote: post #137
logicchains wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Why did you edit out the part about being "as racist as they come?" Come now, stand behind your principles.

I realised that I didn't need my racism credentials to argue that white people have no shortage of paedophiles.

Fun fact: in spite of only comprising about 60% of the US population, whites account for over 80% of federal child pornography offenders.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#170

Post by PaulHoule »

hnlmorg wrote: post #26

I really want to sympathise with the author but this feels more like a one-sided rant piece than a constructive article. For example, in one paragraph they complain that “I don’t want my son to get online” then literally the following paragraph they complain that they need a Switch Online membership to get their son online. If you want your Nintendo Switch to “behave like a Gameboy” then don’t get the online membersh…

Generally I worry about online gaming.

I played a lot of Titanfall back in the day and had a lot of reservations about talking with other people's kids. Nothing really bad happened, and I had a lot of fun, but it was creepy.

I kinda enjoy that the matchmaker rooms in Beat Saber only allow you to emote with large body gestures and not say anything or even make hand gestures. I enjoy acting like a cartoon character to honor and recognize the other players (like choosing the song that I really hate because another player has asked for it five times in a row) and not getting involved in the mean bullshit you get in games like League of Legends. (It's fun to be in a private room with 2 or more players too where you can chat but then you are talking with people you picked which in my case are nice people)

My son and his friend created a new game called "the kick game" inside a certain online game where the real game was to trick the other players into kicking out other players that they didn't like or wanted to bully -- frequently the victims didn't understand the rules of this game at all. On Roblox they would find racist games where you cut down thousands of Zulu, just awful stuff.

Not to say I haven't had a good time with serious League players who communicate on Discord and have a positive team but I think communication features and UGC are often a disaster in games.

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