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Parental controls aren't for parents

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Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#51

Post by vorpalhex »

hnlmorg wrote: post #26

I really want to sympathise with the author but this feels more like a one-sided rant piece than a constructive article. For example, in one paragraph they complain that “I don’t want my son to get online” then literally the following paragraph they complain that they need a Switch Online membership to get their son online. If you want your Nintendo Switch to “behave like a Gameboy” then don’t get the online membersh…

The issue is that the kid wants to play a game with his friends.

So that is "online" in the sense that it uses the internet.. but it isn't the same as a web browser, or an open store of every online app.

I run game servers for my nephew. I know he only adds his friends and I can keep a loose eye on them. I don't care if his friends talk about boobs or make penis jokes (they're 14), I only care that there aren't any predators.

This is a clear and meaningful distinction and it doesn't sound supported.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#52

Post by johanvts »

eYrKEC2 wrote: post #39
zaphar wrote: post #4

I don't know if this works for anyone other than our family but when we were raising our kids we solved this by the simple of expedient that gaming and computer use was done with us as parents present. Full stop. It was not a solo activity for our kids. We could directly view everything they were doing online the entire time.

That's essentially the rule in our house. No screens not visible to other members of the family. In US, we restrict alcohol kids until they're 21. Pornography is poison.

So no smartphones?

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#53

Post by f1shy »

jonathaneunice wrote: post #45

The complexity and frustration are in no way accidental. A carefully designed, obfuscated, and Byzantined process designed for exactly this effect. > You're supposed to be so beaten down, so utterly depleted of will, that you just cave. [...] You disable a bunch of parental controls you don't really understand. You let your kid play his damn game. You become the ideal customer. Exactly so. Parental controls, privacy…

Reminds me when Facebook added “privacy” controls, that were virtually impossible to find, difficult to understand, and confusing to give a false sense of security.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#54

Post by kgwxd »

My 17 yo, and me, are still suffering for poor account choices I made when he was young. My 10 yo will only ever have to remember his birth year is the same as mine when asked in regards to any of his accounts created by me.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#55

Post by adastra22 »

Angostura wrote: post #27
jameskilton wrote: post #9

My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. As for the Switch and Nintendo Online, I didn't find it confusing or difficult at all to set up a child's account, make sure they can't buy anything without my permission, and then I make sure my daughter knows what she can and can't do, and I keep an eye on it to make sure she follows my rules. I don't trust pare…

> My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. It’s all fine and dandy, until (i) you find that they’ve actually just saved up their pocket money and gifts for the last year and a half to buy the phone (age 11 in my daughter’s case) and that all the after school and weekend activities are being arranged on phones. Seeing your kids excluded from real-world ac…

My daughter is 14. Still no phone. You can make this work.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#56

Post by eYrKEC2 »

johanvts wrote: post #52
eYrKEC2 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's essentially the rule in our house. No screens not visible to other members of the family. In US, we restrict alcohol kids until they're 21. Pornography is poison.

So no smartphones?

Neutered smartphone with zero internet access and apps locked down like North Korea.

We also lock up our alcohol, as many parents have chosen to do for generations.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#57

Post by lucumo »

Family Link is kind of funny like that as well. As a parent you can limit which apps your child can use, and even how long they can use them. My child is above the age we can monitor their every move, but they're below the age where we can trust they won't spend all day playing games when they need to study. So that feature is nice.

Except you have to allow the Google app. And you have to allow it unrestricted time. That's not all that bad yet, though not great. The annoying thing is that Google loves their little easter eggs. So the child is procrastinating by playing Pacman, Snake, that stupid Dino run game, and what not. Courtesy of the makers of the parental controls.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#58

Post by adastra22 »

hnlmorg wrote: post #34
jameskilton wrote: post #9

My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. As for the Switch and Nintendo Online, I didn't find it confusing or difficult at all to set up a child's account, make sure they can't buy anything without my permission, and then I make sure my daughter knows what she can and can't do, and I keep an eye on it to make sure she follows my rules. I don't trust pare…

16 is too late. You can’t teach your kids good maturity with communication devices through abstinence. You just have to watch what they do online. Which means reading their WhatsApp et al messages after they’ve gone to bed. Yes there will be some problems created from them having devices, but parenting isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be educational and supportive for the children. Which forced abstinence…

Yeah I’m pretty sure invading your kids privacy like that is setting you up for worse trouble.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#59

Post by fenwick67 »

GaryBluto wrote: post #13
zpeti wrote: post #8

Last time I checked disney plus doesn't have any option to hide specific shows. None. You either let your child watch everything, or nothing. At least netflix allows me to hide certain shows...

You can block by age rating quite easily it seems. https://help.disneyplus.com/en-GB/article/disneyplus-parenta... If you don't want your child watching specific shows despite an appropriate age rating, have you considered only letting them watch it while you're with them?

Allow me to give my anecdotal experience.

When my child was three, he really liked to watch 'spidey and his amazing friends'. But unfortunately, when he watched it he would emulate some of the bad behaviors from the show, pretend to be one of the bad guys and act out. Easy solution right, we just won't watch the show anymore, we don't leave him alone to watch TV by himself anyways.

Well, on Disney plus, you can't simply hide the show. Even if you remove it from your "recently watched" or whatever, it will show up in preview cards and search results and I'm categories. It became a big friction point, whatever he would see it he would want to watch it. And when Grandma would come over and babysit him, he would ask for it and she'd put it on for him despite our wishes.

So, since then, I've spun up a jellyfin server and ditched Disney plus. If we don't like a show we just remove it, and then it's simply not an option.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#60

Post by adastra22 »

johanvts wrote: post #52
eYrKEC2 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's essentially the rule in our house. No screens not visible to other members of the family. In US, we restrict alcohol kids until they're 21. Pornography is poison.

So no smartphones?

Nope. More people should be like this.
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