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Parental controls aren't for parents

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Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#31

Post by Aurornis »

hnlmorg wrote: post #26

I really want to sympathise with the author but this feels more like a one-sided rant piece than a constructive article. For example, in one paragraph they complain that “I don’t want my son to get online” then literally the following paragraph they complain that they need a Switch Online membership to get their son online. If you want your Nintendo Switch to “behave like a Gameboy” then don’t get the online membersh…

I agree. As a parent it feels hard to sympathize with someone who outsourced their child’s app usage selection to another company and didn’t even bother to check what apps were allowed first. I visited the Gabb site they linked to and “Communication with strangers” is clearly listed as one of the tags they put on apps allowed on the phone. You’re supposed to review them as a parent, not just assume that 100% of the nearly 1000 apps they allow are exactly to your preferences.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#32

Post by alasdairking »

datajanko wrote: post #23

I'm stuck with my son not able to play minecraft from his nintendo account anymore though it used to work. I'm just getting an unhelpful error message and all permissions should be enough. Parental control is a joke. Deezer has kids accounts but you can just switch to another account. Spotify kids was a joke when I used it, poor discoverability, poor cataloge specifically if you care about childrens audio books. Goog…

Try the XBox app on your phone, I managed to find settings there once that unlocked Minecraft.

I'd like a flag for messaging apps called "turn off images and video". Sure, my kid might get called nasty names in plain text, but would not get beheading or bestiality videos or underage schoolmate pics.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#34

Post by hnlmorg »

jameskilton wrote: post #9

My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. As for the Switch and Nintendo Online, I didn't find it confusing or difficult at all to set up a child's account, make sure they can't buy anything without my permission, and then I make sure my daughter knows what she can and can't do, and I keep an eye on it to make sure she follows my rules. I don't trust pare…

16 is too late. You can’t teach your kids good maturity with communication devices through abstinence. You just have to watch what they do online. Which means reading their WhatsApp et al messages after they’ve gone to bed.

Yes there will be some problems created from them having devices, but parenting isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be educational and supportive for the children. Which forced abstinence is not.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#35

Post by zpeti »

GaryBluto wrote: post #13
zpeti wrote: post #8

Last time I checked disney plus doesn't have any option to hide specific shows. None. You either let your child watch everything, or nothing. At least netflix allows me to hide certain shows...

You can block by age rating quite easily it seems. https://help.disneyplus.com/en-GB/article/disneyplus-parenta... If you don't want your child watching specific shows despite an appropriate age rating, have you considered only letting them watch it while you're with them?

age rating is not how I would categorise shows.

It’s also extremely hard saying no to certain shows to my kids, and it would be much easier to just not have them there.

I’m pretty sure the politically oriented people at Disney want this to your kids watch as much of the content as possible, and especially the new ones.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#36

Post by 123sereusername »

hnlmorg wrote: post #26

I really want to sympathise with the author but this feels more like a one-sided rant piece than a constructive article. For example, in one paragraph they complain that “I don’t want my son to get online” then literally the following paragraph they complain that they need a Switch Online membership to get their son online. If you want your Nintendo Switch to “behave like a Gameboy” then don’t get the online membersh…

[dead]

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#37

Post by epiccoleman »

adeelk93 wrote: post #5

Your son is talking to his friends in this book chat, and playing Minecraft with them. How do other parents go about governing this? Sounds like either they’ve figured out these parental controls, and might have some tips for you. Or they trust their kids with fewer controls.

Do you have kids? I'm guessing you don't, because the answer is pretty obvious to those of us who do - the vast majority of parents seem to give not one single fuck about what their kids do with technology. I've known families who have a cell phone - a dedicated device - for their four year old.

My armchair diagnosis is that parents who are just a little bit older than me (I'm 34) and especially parents who didn't grow up as nerds just don't see the problem. Among the class of people who spend their time on Substack or Hacker News the horror of the modern net and its affect on childhood are well understood at this point. Among "normal people" you will definitely get weird looks if you suggest that this stuff is terrible for your kids.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#38

Post by zoklet-enjoyer »

Angostura wrote: post #27
jameskilton wrote: post #9

My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. As for the Switch and Nintendo Online, I didn't find it confusing or difficult at all to set up a child's account, make sure they can't buy anything without my permission, and then I make sure my daughter knows what she can and can't do, and I keep an eye on it to make sure she follows my rules. I don't trust pare…

> My daughter will not get a phone at all until she's at least 16 and probably finally actually needs one. It’s all fine and dandy, until (i) you find that they’ve actually just saved up their pocket money and gifts for the last year and a half to buy the phone (age 11 in my daughter’s case) and that all the after school and weekend activities are being arranged on phones. Seeing your kids excluded from real-world ac…

I had a cell phone before my parents. Paid cash for a TracFone when I was 16 or 17 and used that to sell weed. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#39

Post by eYrKEC2 »

zaphar wrote: post #4

I don't know if this works for anyone other than our family but when we were raising our kids we solved this by the simple of expedient that gaming and computer use was done with us as parents present. Full stop. It was not a solo activity for our kids. We could directly view everything they were doing online the entire time.

That's essentially the rule in our house. No screens not visible to other members of the family.

In US, we restrict alcohol kids until they're 21. Pornography is poison.

Re: Parental controls aren't for parents

#40

Post by AdamN »

losthobbies wrote: post #18

The Roblox ones are a bit of a minefield too. I age restrict, block chat with everyone and monitor friend requests weekly. They are not allowed to play in their rooms. Education is the biggest thing. They come to me if someone asks to be their friend. They don’t accept gifts from strangers and I explain that it’s the same as real world. It’s a constant process that is always changing. Same as any other parenting job…

Roblox is hostile to these controls - best not to even enter the ecosystem.
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