Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I rebooted my social life

takes.jamesomalley.co.uk

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

81–90 of 433 posts

Re: I rebooted my social life

#81

Post by HeyThereDave »

NoImmatureAdHom wrote: post #71
hypeatei wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you think about all the things going on under the current US administration which include but are not limited to: flag burning ban[0], retribution against law firms for supporting opponents of the admin[1], antifa being designated a terrorist organization[2], deportation of anti-Israel protesters[3], threatening broadcast licenses[4], or suing pollsters because he didn't like the results[5]? We're equating th…

The president is a person and can make whatever proclamations he wants. Sometimes people will even do what he says! But the way the system works is: - orange man makes dumb obviously unconstitutional proclamation about flag burning - most likely nobody does anything about it, but if someone does there is a law suit - the courts are like 'lol no' - back to status quo ante

Unfortunately, step 3 is no longer a given.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#82

Post by btrettel »

conqrr wrote: post #63
btrettel wrote: post #59

I've thought about starting my own community group, but I am pretty skeptical that I could find many folks interested in what I'm interested in. I think this is a real barrier to many. Any advice? To elaborate, in the US, existing groups tend to be narrow and uninteresting to me. In most places I've lived, it's basically a mix of sports/fitness groups, art groups, "tech" (i.e., programmer; traditional engineers like…

What interests you? Id start one. In a densely populated city, odds are you will find a few people.

I'll try starting a more niche group just to see what happens. Maybe I'm wrong and I'll find a handful of interesting people. Still, there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. If the number of people interested in a topic is small enough, reaching them can be really hard. And only a fraction of them would be willing/able to meet.

As for specific topics, there are many I could pick. My problem isn't a lack of interest in general, just a lack of overlap between my interests and what's available. One I think might have a decent chance of success would be a group based around information searching, both online and in the real world. Despite being an engineer, I've often found a lot of common ground with librarians. I love talking about the subject and could learn a lot about it. It's not going to become irrelevant any time soon either, even with LLMs, due to information siloing.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#83

Post by teiferer »

sph wrote: post #61
btrettel wrote: post #59

I've thought about starting my own community group, but I am pretty skeptical that I could find many folks interested in what I'm interested in. I think this is a real barrier to many. Any advice? To elaborate, in the US, existing groups tend to be narrow and uninteresting to me. In most places I've lived, it's basically a mix of sports/fitness groups, art groups, "tech" (i.e., programmer; traditional engineers like…

Funny, I've had the exact same thought, and doubts, as yours. I really dislike communities focused on a certain topic, as I really don't see myself as part of any one thing that defines me. If I were doing rock climbing, I still wouldn't enjoy talking about rock climbing the entire day with my rock climbing friends; my interests are much wider. Which is the reason I do not participate in any community on- and off-lin…

> If I were doing rock climbing, I still wouldn't enjoy talking about rock climbing the entire day with my rock climbing friends

Um, have you actually tried? I have a "rock climbing" friends group, and it's rare that we talk rock climbing outside an actual climbing outing. Some of them are at the climbing gym 2-3x a week, some of them 1x a week, some join only once every 1-2 months. But what we do a lot is hang out just for dinner, for some hike on the weekend, going to a concert, whatnot. Climbing was really just the initial excuse to meet, by now it's only a detail we all more or less do now and then.

Maybe you are overthinking this.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#84

Post by DrBazza »

The unstated implicit difference between online and real world interactions is that you talk to people in real time, can't scroll by, block a person, or be rude to them. Well, you can, but, good old fashioned discourse, and friends telling you to stop being a weird idiot was/is human societal interactions for all of history until the creation of the internet. Facial and physical cues are also part of the lost tapestry that social media cannot replace.

I feel sorry for the young 'uns that have grown up with the internet, that have been able to isolate themselves and their opinions from the real world simply by choosing to not interact physically, and block those whose opinions differ.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#85

Post by teiferer »

ksymph wrote: post #76
sph wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny, I've had the exact same thought, and doubts, as yours. I really dislike communities focused on a certain topic, as I really don't see myself as part of any one thing that defines me. If I were doing rock climbing, I still wouldn't enjoy talking about rock climbing the entire day with my rock climbing friends; my interests are much wider. Which is the reason I do not participate in any community on- and off-lin…

I relate very closely, having had the same thoughts over the past few years. Social clubs sound good in theory, but in my experience it's difficult to connect with people without a central activity or subject to act as a touchstone. It's a frustrating sort of paradox where the best social groups diverge greatly from their core theme, and yet the core theme is necessary to reach and maintain critical mass. I think it'…

> I think it's possible to get around the problem

Could you articulate what you perceive to be a problem with all that?

Re: I rebooted my social life

#86

Post by huhkerrf »

sph wrote: post #61
btrettel wrote: post #59

I've thought about starting my own community group, but I am pretty skeptical that I could find many folks interested in what I'm interested in. I think this is a real barrier to many. Any advice? To elaborate, in the US, existing groups tend to be narrow and uninteresting to me. In most places I've lived, it's basically a mix of sports/fitness groups, art groups, "tech" (i.e., programmer; traditional engineers like…

Funny, I've had the exact same thought, and doubts, as yours. I really dislike communities focused on a certain topic, as I really don't see myself as part of any one thing that defines me. If I were doing rock climbing, I still wouldn't enjoy talking about rock climbing the entire day with my rock climbing friends; my interests are much wider. Which is the reason I do not participate in any community on- and off-lin…

> I honestly wish social clubs were a thing, and you would get introduced to people from all walks of life

They are. Elks, Knights of Columbus, etc. Not as popular with the younger crowd, but nothing is stopping you from joining or starting your own.

As for the point around feeling like you have to talk about rock climbing all day: you don't. Rock climbing is just the entry point, which allows for a shared conversation topic before you branch into other things.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#87

Post by huhkerrf »

ctln wrote: post #12

Congrats OP, sounds super excited for his new social life. I live overseas and I’m very lonely. I’ve been told to join a group or club related to my interests so I can meet new people and make friends, but I can’t. It doesn’t feel natural to me to go for friend-hunting. And I’m very tired of meaningless, superficial connections and conversations I’ve had with most of the people from my surroundings. I feel my only fr…

Don't go friend hunting, then. Go activity hunting, and if you make friends out of it, all the better.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#88

Post by Aurornis »

littlecranky67 wrote: post #31

Working remotely taught me a similar lesson as the author. The most important part that I think people get wrong in general is that online friends, or your good friends from uni or your childhood youth that you only see in person once or twice a year, can't replace an active local friends group - or community as he calls it. Cutting the daily interactions with other humans by no longer going to an office every day ma…

Having online friends can be great, but you’re right that it doesn’t replace in person friend groups.

One big problem with having mostly or only online friends is that you spend all day at work in front of a computer, then if you want to spend time with your online friends you spend more time in front of a computer. It can turn into all day every day screen time.

Re: I rebooted my social life

#89

Post by weakfish »

sph wrote: post #61
btrettel wrote: post #59

I've thought about starting my own community group, but I am pretty skeptical that I could find many folks interested in what I'm interested in. I think this is a real barrier to many. Any advice? To elaborate, in the US, existing groups tend to be narrow and uninteresting to me. In most places I've lived, it's basically a mix of sports/fitness groups, art groups, "tech" (i.e., programmer; traditional engineers like…

Funny, I've had the exact same thought, and doubts, as yours. I really dislike communities focused on a certain topic, as I really don't see myself as part of any one thing that defines me. If I were doing rock climbing, I still wouldn't enjoy talking about rock climbing the entire day with my rock climbing friends; my interests are much wider. Which is the reason I do not participate in any community on- and off-lin…

I think you’re perhaps too narrowly defining what a lot of groups are for. Take climbing for example, as you did - I met tons of folks while climbing, but we talked about all sorts of things. In between attempting routes it’s mostly just shooting the shit.

My point being that a lot of clubs or groups, especially in fitness, don’t have a rule against talking about other stuff. In fact, most are incredibly conducive to it.

Post reply on HN