> This is not the only way people connect with one another, although it may be the most prevalent.
Yes, I wrote the comment quickly and did not edit it for absolutes e.g. 'X is Y'. Which is another thing I've learned from others (Try not to say: 'This restaurant is the best. MacBooks rule, etc.' - who made you the be-all,say-all judger?. Try 'I like this restaurant. I love the atmosphere and $4 drinks'.
I know HN karma isn't important as we make it out to be but I feel pretty good that I was able to reach and communicate what I feel is something important but not essential for some, not all situations.
> Many more people are hurt or killed out of an outburst of raw emotion than are out of an outburst of rationality.
This is true. Situations can escalate to life threatening in a matter of moments. Remember the LA highway shootings in the 90s? Trained telemarketers and customer service representatives are taught never to escalate their voice, remain calm - let the customer vent. Even the most logical person can revert to sheer illogicalness in the heat of the moment. I recall many arguments with my dad that started with something simple like not pulling into the center of the intersection at a traffic light for a left turn and went to heated words/tension, ending with him googling up the official state driver's manual (for the last word, on it).
> I can't help but feel that you are blaming the people who are less emotionally driven for the distance and disharmony in society.
I'm a very strong ISTJ. I try to learn more about relationship 'technology' because I get tripped up on simple social pleasantries. For example, I was at the bus stop the other day and the guy who I've seen there before was asking if I bought my monthly transit pass yet. Since it wasn't the end of the month yet or even end of the week (at that time), I was puzzled. I told him that and added that I don't have to buy it just yet. He was just trying to make small talk! I tried to apologize later but he was like 'that's done. I'm moving on' I have a theory that even the most reclusive, introverted person has a basic quota for human contact and expressing creativity.
> My goal in all my relationships I have is learning
I don't get a chance to talk deep ideas with most of my friends. That's why I love niche communities like HN.
I can go to a bar and just people watch. I don't understand why people like to go to movies in large groups - you're not talking during the movie. Protection in numbers? Even with my friends, I can be a wallflower's wallflower, even though I want to be the opposite. The few times I've talked to everyone at a party (sun and moon aligned and brain/self-consciousness disabled) - I've had the best nights ever. Usually, when I go to a party, I don't talk/mingle and wonder if it was a net loss (e.g. if I didn't go to the event and stayed home, would I have felt better and the people there, been better off). I don't know if I have a goal for all my relationships - I tend to bounce around various niche groups (salsa dancing, improv comedy, hackers, entrepreneurs) so I don't get bored. I think the goal for 2009 if I had one (I hate the thought of New Year's Resolutions) - is to initiate more relationships. Commit. Be accepting.
Thank you for your feedback. I admire you for taking the time to write your thoughts.