Live data from Hacker News

One year of keeping a tada list

ducktyped.org

41–50 of 91 posts

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#41
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It kind of sounds like there is a part of you that is abusive and you are rewarding it with this practice, giving it what it wants. I would personally lean in the opposite direction!

nah that's actually a practice I learned while being in CBT therapy. I mean, it's not that you reward some bad part of yourself, it's that sometimes you stop noticing all the things you do, like get used to all the stuff and start devaluing it. And by journaling and explicitly stating them you make it clear for yourself that you, in fact, do a lot of things throughout the day. Like "I did nothing today except working…

You can't appease a:

    10 PRINT "You didn't do enough! Scum! Do more!"
    20 GOTO 10
loop by noticing the things you do during the day and bowing and scraping, offering them up to the loop, trying to convince it that you did do enough. It doesn't have a definition of enough it only has a demand for more. When does a hoarder list all the things they own and then feel happy because they won at hoarding and they can stop now?

Worse, by trying to argue, the loop strengthens. It's inside your brain, it's a cognitive behaviour, apparently somehow you learned it as an important message to remind yourself of. Arguing back that you did enough isn't "hearing the important message" so the message gets more insistent, louder - HEY! LISTEN! you DID NOT do enough! SCUM! DO MORE!

The cognitive behaviour to change is the judging, not the response to the judging. Where did I learn to beat myself up about productivity with that addict's loop? Why am I holding on to it when it hurts and makes me feel bad? What desirable behaviour or values is it trying to achieve that makes me unable to drop it? How can I uphold the same values and encourage the same positive behaviours in a positive-reinforcement way instead of a negative-reinforcement way so I can let go of that and feel less shitty?

> "make it clear for yourself that you, in fact, do a lot of things throughout the day"

That's still framed 'I am only a good person if I do a lot of things'. It's you who controls your definition of a good person. You who holds the definition so high that you feel you don't live up to it. You who creates the bad feelings when you judge that you don't live up to the definition you control. Which is a sitcom farce of a way to live. The missing bit is that you didn't consciously set it, you accidentally learned it from childhood or society or religion or osmosis, and don't know that you can change it; it feels immutable and obviously correct.[1]

Either way it's the same chore of making of your bed, but in one multiverse you feel negatively compelled to do it, you feel bad while doing it and dreadful if you miss it. In another multiverse you choose to do it, feel good while doing it, and if you miss it that's fine. In one multiverse you're imagining future-you having a nice bed to climb into tonight so you're feeling mild positive emotions (satisfied, pleased, helpful, kind, useful). And if you miss doing it then future-you can forgive you because it's not a big deal and you're feeling neutral. In another multiverse you do it while imagining your tyrant grandmother scowling at you. However much effort you put into making the bed, it's never enough. If you imagine missing it, she's screaming at you-aged-6 about how you're the laziest child she's ever known and you'll end up homeless and destitute, an embarassment to her, a disgrace to your family, and she's going to smack some obedience into you[2]. So you do it while feeling mild to strong negative emotions (anxious, afraid, bad, scared, shaking, panicky). And you're probably aware as an adult how unfair this is so add in some (angry, resentful, unfairly treated, bitter) and if you can't easily get away from it some (frustration, contempt of yourself, envy of/inferior to people who don't live like this). There's no way to win in this multiverse - there's no way to get positive emotions. The best case is doing it promptly and thoroughly and trying to minimize the negative emotions by whirlwinding through and not thinking about it.

You can't list all the days of your life that you made your bed and show them to imaginary-tyrant-grandma hoping she will approve and you can feel good forever. She isn't real, she's a "10 SCOWL; 20 GOTO 10" loop stuck in your head. That mocking image of her will never be proud of you, never be satisfied. Nor can you try to say "she might not be happy but I can be happy about all the times I did this" because she's in your head so that you can't be happy and because that unhappiness drives you to put more effort in, which is the behaviour she wanted to instill. Reinforced by the nagging almost sub-conscious image of lying in a ditch with your mother disowning you, which gets stronger the more you try to be happy, and weaker every time you are scared and work harder.

The tyrant-grandma-loop is the cognitive behaviour that needs a mechanic, and all the related lifetime of images/ideas/behaviours that are feeding into it, or fed by it. Back to the article, after an entire year of tada-list, the author writes "forces you to have an accomplishment each day so you can write it down, and this added stress to my day". Hmm.

[1] (Then you think that if someone says 'you can change it', they must be saying 'it is easy to change'. Then you either feel bad that you haven't succeeded at something easy so you must be stupid, or you dismiss them by saying "thanks I'm cured" because you "tried" ignoring it and that didn't work so they must be stupid)

[2] Which, sadly, she probably felt was absolutely true, handed down from her mother or father, a torment she also lived under her whole life.

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#42
post #4

> Maybe the most obvious con: a tada list forces you to have an accomplishment each day so you can write it down, and this added stress to my day. Maybe it makes more sense to have a box per week instead of per day. Or even per month! At least in my own life I've noticed that focusing on daily output tends to be demoralizing, whereas if I look back over the months I am often amazed by what has come out of me.

> have a box per week

Sounds like the weekly report most of my bosses have demanded.

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, I haven't lost them in over a decade... So I have a pretty good track record. The system it's hosted on has had at least one, maybe two hardware failures over that time. A system isn't done being set up until it has backups up and running.

...and tested. I only had to see one machine "that was being backed up" unable to restore from backup. Wasn't mine, but was enough to teach me to test them.

Absolutely! You're preaching to the choir here.

However, that said, over ~3 decades I've found that having a successful rsync exit code and alerting when that is not true, along with periodic "full" rsync checksum runs, is effectively a failsafe way of ensuing a good backup.

For our less critical systems, this plus "spot checking" by regularly going in and looking at "what did this file look like a few weeks ago" (something we commonly use backups for), has proven pretty effective while also being low work.

For critical systems, definitely do test recoveries. Our database server, for example, every week recovers the production database into our staging and dev environments, so backup problems tend to get noticed pretty quickly.

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

nah that's actually a practice I learned while being in CBT therapy. I mean, it's not that you reward some bad part of yourself, it's that sometimes you stop noticing all the things you do, like get used to all the stuff and start devaluing it. And by journaling and explicitly stating them you make it clear for yourself that you, in fact, do a lot of things throughout the day. Like "I did nothing today except working…

You can't appease a: 10 PRINT "You didn't do enough! Scum! Do more!" 20 GOTO 10 loop by noticing the things you do during the day and bowing and scraping, offering them up to the loop, trying to convince it that you did do enough. It doesn't have a definition of enough it only has a demand for more . When does a hoarder list all the things they own and then feel happy because they won at hoarding and they can stop no…

bro sorry your comment is sort of disproportional to my comment to the point that I'm not sure if it's AI or not, also I already have a 3rd party who can neutrally assess my views and point things out (my therapist) so im not bothering reading :broken-heart:

Plus by noticing things you are doing it already makes inner critic quieter, and this is THE practice to get rid of it

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#45
post #4

> Maybe the most obvious con: a tada list forces you to have an accomplishment each day so you can write it down, and this added stress to my day. Maybe it makes more sense to have a box per week instead of per day. Or even per month! At least in my own life I've noticed that focusing on daily output tends to be demoralizing, whereas if I look back over the months I am often amazed by what has come out of me.

I can also imagine that you might need to change your definition of what an accomplishment is. I tend to think of it as something that has a measurable output, but difficult-to-measure progress towards an outcome is also something (despite what product managers might think)

> change your definition of what an accomplishment

+ Get out of bed before sundown

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#46
This is lovely, but in certain life circumstances I've found it more useful to have a to-dont-list, as in: list of things I would really like to do, but shouldn't because there are more pressing matters to attend to and I need to pace myself, otherwise things will turn ugly really quick.

Example: day before Christmas eve - the last workday in this region I found myself standing in line to a car wash. There was just one guy ahead of me, but those who were already soaping up their vehicles didn't seem to be in a hurry and it was already 4pm, so sundown over here and I still had other errands run that day.

I turned around and the car is currently still dirty, but it'll remain so until I can make time for that, so in 2026.

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#48
post #46

This is lovely, but in certain life circumstances I've found it more useful to have a to-dont-list, as in: list of things I would really like to do, but shouldn't because there are more pressing matters to attend to and I need to pace myself, otherwise things will turn ugly really quick. Example: day before Christmas eve - the last workday in this region I found myself standing in line to a car wash. There was just o…

Not clear in your example if you have a to-dont list, or just decide "don't" in the moment.

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#49
Person that has the ability to have post here in HN is enough of productive at least from most of us reading here. But for us, most of the time staring at the screen reading HN is also nice to keep a list here is what I do: I have a notebook on my desk that has horizontal lines(what is the word for it) I guess one line is .75 cm wide using that as a day of week I noted what I do that day with codes HackerNews hn, game, read, first job(fj), second job(sj), youtube you, bodybuilding bb, fut for thinking about future life. I keep the list over detail to show you how much a mundane life i have. But be sure more items make you more happy for that day. SO I mean please keep a list of what you are doing taht day

Re: One year of keeping a tada list

#50
post #30

I've been doing a work-oriented "what I did today" list for ~25 years, and really like it. Originally it started because I needed to bill for my time, but when I went to my current job (over a decade ago) I kept doing it. In my iteration, it is a concise sentence about each thing I've worked on that day. At the end of the month I go back through and review it and write up a "Wins" list. It's surprisingly useful; I sh…

> It's surprisingly useful; I share it with my coworkers and we often consult it if we notice something has been behaving differently starting at a certain date to see what was going on then. Don't you have commit logs for this??

Commit logs typically only show the coding part, not everything else. It can also be spread out over several repos, or lost if branches are deleted.
Post reply on HN