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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#331

Post by brailsafe »

canyp wrote: post #295
nradov wrote: post #287

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unless you're in prison, everything is negotiable. But some people build a private prison in their own minds.

Ah, yes, low wages and precarity are just mental imagery people have constructed in their minds. If only those fools stopped lying to themselves! /s

A personal prison can mean many things, and if low wages automatically mean precarity, then that's a type of stress that would be worthwhile to try and create a lesser draw on, imo.

For me, I'm always framing whatever I currently earn as "right now". Right now I'm doing ok, but it's fairly likely it won't last longer than 2 years, because it never has, and I have no reason to think it will this time. That means that even if a bank were to give me a long term loan, I'd be stupid to commit to anything but the most manageable terms, which means I'd have to consider what I'd be able to make in a part-time laborer position when layoffs come around or something.

If I can theoretically make myself liable for a 3.5k a month tiny condo mortgage, even if it's less than half my take home, I'd be uncomfortable doing so unless it was half that amount. Therefore, either a miracle needs to happen on the career side or the housing market needs to finally crash before my partner and I move out of this basement, no kids, used car etc.. and that's fine for now. If I lose a job, I need to have at least a year if not more of liquid or close to liquid assets available to cover living expenses, and for that to be possible, I need to have relatively minimal fixed liabilities

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#332

Post by jatins »

Yeah no, that's not it. Not everyone has to chase the highest purpose. A lot of existential dread would go away if: 1/ People had hopes of buying a house in their lifetime 2/ They were not afraid of being let go at any point 3/ Social media did not create a hedonistic treadmill

The whole higher purpose narrative is bs to keep sell more books or courses or whatever author is selling. And what's with random yellow highlights and bold formatting on every second sentence?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#333

Post by tock »

nradov wrote: post #280
marcus_holmes wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please don't do this to yourself. Please go and get help. Brains really don't work this way, and you are damaging yourself.

Nah, I'm good. You have no clue how brains actually work.

How do brains actually work?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#335

Post by cpt_sobel »

jwrallie wrote: post #271

The article started well until it changed from "you" to "I". After that, it felt like a mix of bragging and trying to sell a book. I think its OK if some people don't get to live their dream jobs, some dreams have no equivalent in real life, and some people need to do the mundane, boring underground jobs that keep things together.

There's so little meaning (other than "Buy My Book!") in the latter part of the post that I thought I read the same paragraph 20 times

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#336

Post by johnfn »

yoan9224 wrote: post #196

The premise is interesting but feels incomplete. The "Monday morning excitement test" doesn't account for the hedonic treadmill - even meaningful work becomes mundane once your brain adjusts to it. Also, many people are genuinely burnt out from overwork, not just existential malaise. When you're juggling demanding work, family responsibilities, and barely have time for basic self-care, the problem isn't finding your…

> even meaningful work becomes mundane once your brain adjusts to it.

This seems quite wrong in my experience. Meaningful work stays meaningful and exciting, every single day.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#337

Post by rthrfrd »

kbutler wrote: post #294
thanedar wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You get off the hedonic treadmill by getting into something deeper like politics. I do feel like I'm an example of someone who's juggled marriage, kids, startups, etc. where how I finally got a clean source of sustainable energy was having a part of my life to truly chase my highest potential. And to me that's politics, and specifically anticorruption and Positive Politics. Glad that the "go into politics" ideas piqu…

Wow, politics seems the opposite to me. It has the morbid fascination of a train wreck. You can't stop it, you know it's going badly, yet you can't look away. Family and building things are much more positive sources of energy to me.

That’s because you’ve become so accustomed to politics as tribalism and sports-like entertainment that you’ve completely forgotten why we even started the political systems we have today in the first place. Divestment of power, not accumulation. Serving others, not ourselves. You can still embody those things. But it’s better to admit to ourselves that we aren’t selfless enough to do that, than hide behind a learned helplessness.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#338

Post by rightbyte »

kbutler wrote: post #294
thanedar wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You get off the hedonic treadmill by getting into something deeper like politics. I do feel like I'm an example of someone who's juggled marriage, kids, startups, etc. where how I finally got a clean source of sustainable energy was having a part of my life to truly chase my highest potential. And to me that's politics, and specifically anticorruption and Positive Politics. Glad that the "go into politics" ideas piqu…

Wow, politics seems the opposite to me. It has the morbid fascination of a train wreck. You can't stop it, you know it's going badly, yet you can't look away. Family and building things are much more positive sources of energy to me.

From the inside it looks different and is noway near as hostile as media and especially the internets make it look like.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#339

Post by officehero »

Aurornis wrote: post #317
lnsru wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am hardware developer and certified electrician as a hobby. I have regularly clients that are buying time while I do really simple things on the property. It’s really cringe to be asked to vacuum their dirt for couple hours. I am paid premium while the clients watch Netflix and later whine about running out of money. I tried politely ask to do rudimentary things by themselves, but it never worked out. I grew in pov…

> I am paid premium while the clients watch Netflix and later whine about running out of money. This really bothered me when I was in social situations with college students who would alternate between bragging about how much they spent on DoorDash and complaining about how they’re always struggling with money. It was only a handful of people out of a larger group of mostly rational students, but it drove me crazy.

This is a core reason for my own burnout - why should I work for a culture that seemingly promotes lazy/hypocritical behavior? Reminds me of "Idiocracy" or "burn after reading" the "league of morons"

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#340

Post by tuna74 »

8n4vidtmkvmk wrote: post #164
toxik wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most people I know realize they should have had kids sooner once they have them. Adoption is also not that easy, there are plenty of cases where adoption causes kidnapping.

How does adoption cause kidnapping?

There have been a lot of cases where adopted kids where not abandoned but rather taken from their parents. There is a market in adoptions and not everybody involved has been "clean".
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