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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#121

Post by thanedar »

parpfish wrote: post #50

One thing that I always try to bring up in these discussions is that “burnout” and “overwork” are two different problems, and I think this author would agree with me. If your problem could be fixed with a raise or a nice vacation, that’s overwork. 996 schedules, crunch time, and a high cost of living make overwork. Burnout is when you stat asking yourself “what’s the point of doing any of this?” and your life is over…

For sure. That's why I focused on the Monday morning meaning problem.

Dreading work is very different than overwork.

I'm arguing we replace the "what's the point?" question with a "what's my highest purpose? exploration.

In that second answer is the solution to what many are calling burnout.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#122

Post by McAtNite »

mkoubaa wrote: post #109
kevinh wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

15 years ago this exact comment would have been written swapping out millennials for gen x and gen z for millennials.

This is a such a cop-out. We millennials had it easy compared to zoomers.

That’s true, graduating into my “once in a lifetime” economic meltdown made the second one barely even register.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#123

Post by thanedar »

AlexB138 wrote: post #79

This first half of this definitely struck a chord. I spent the first three quarters of this year taking care of a terminally ill parent, then seeing them through hospice. If that sort of experience doesn't make a person step back from their life and question what they're doing nothing will. I decided to step away from my job as an engineering VP and try something I actually wanted to do. It's terrifying, especially i…

Love how you highlighted your morning excitement now! That's what I was going for in this post!

What are you trying now that you actually want to do? Cheering for you!

(And please let me know what you would've liked to see in the second half! Blog posts are easy to edit!)

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#124

Post by socalgal2 »

unstyledcontent wrote: post #14

I'm burned out because I have to raise two young children, work a full time job in a demanding career, and then in the hour or two a day of time that isn't accounted for in those two tasks, I need to maintain a household and try to care for myself. I feel a strong sense of purpose caring for my family, but don't have enough time to meet life's demands. Maybe other people relate more to this post because they more mon…

Both of my parents worked full time. Neither of them seemed burnt out. Have plenty of friends where both parents work, neither seem burnt out. I'm always curious what makes it work for some an not others. Some of these couples are not high paid tech workers either. I'm even more amazed that some still find time for hobbies some how.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#125

Post by sdeframond »

Aurornis wrote: post #27
unstyledcontent wrote: post #14

I'm burned out because I have to raise two young children, work a full time job in a demanding career, and then in the hour or two a day of time that isn't accounted for in those two tasks, I need to maintain a household and try to care for myself. I feel a strong sense of purpose caring for my family, but don't have enough time to meet life's demands. Maybe other people relate more to this post because they more mon…

> Maybe other people relate more to this post because they more money and no kids. I have kids, but I don’t think having kids or even a lack of money is necessary to experience the type of burnout you’re describing. While everyone and every situation is different, my personal experience is that having kids led to less burnout for me over time. I expected the opposite after reading comments online, but it turns out th…

> the time spent caring for the kids was energizing and purpose-providing.

Depends. At 3am it's not.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#126

Post by isodev »

SoftTalker wrote: post #116
lm28469 wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you wait until everything is planned, ready and accounted for you'll never have kids.

Even if you reach that point, you're likely now at the age where fertility problems become a real issue. If you want to have kids do it when you're in your early 20s.

This is factually false :) and if you’re really worried, there are many options available to you to preserve what you will need or consider adoption - there are so many humans being born without a family after all.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#127

Post by mr_world »

dluan wrote: post #110
ManuelKiessling wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mh. Would like to hear the full story. My initial mental reflex is one of „es gibt kein richtiges Leben im falschen“, that is, „there is no right life in the wrong one“, as Adorno put it.

I think it's simpler to just appeal to every entrepreneur's spider sense - go where the great people are. It really does feel a bit like how Silicon Valley and San Francisco felt in 2000s-2010s. Caveat of course, which is even before 2008, aware insiders of SV were trying to warn that the Goodness of the internet was being squeezed too hard, that VC was turning to rent seeking too soon, the cart is way too far ahead…

This is literally my first time hearing this. All the stuff I see from china is about lying flat, giving up because no matter how hard you work it won't make a difference? Is this a Shenzhen attitude?

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#128

Post by isodev »

em-bee wrote: post #117
isodev wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> because I have to raise two young children It’s a missed opportunity for posts like the link to also mention and reinforce the importance of family planning. Many go into setting up a family because of peer pressure without assessing that it’s a very long term commitment. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can, of course. Maybe raising awareness that having kids is no longer an imperative for humans living in the 2…

having kids is no longer an imperative for humans living in the 21st century on the contrary. global population growth will plateau in a few decades, and negative population growth is already a problem in many countries, like all western countries, south korea, and also china.

Stop looking it country by country. Globally, the trend is that of an increasing population. And fast. Humans are reproducing at unsustainable level.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#129

Post by brational »

socalgal2 wrote: post #124
unstyledcontent wrote: post #14

I'm burned out because I have to raise two young children, work a full time job in a demanding career, and then in the hour or two a day of time that isn't accounted for in those two tasks, I need to maintain a household and try to care for myself. I feel a strong sense of purpose caring for my family, but don't have enough time to meet life's demands. Maybe other people relate more to this post because they more mon…

Both of my parents worked full time. Neither of them seemed burnt out. Have plenty of friends where both parents work, neither seem burnt out. I'm always curious what makes it work for some an not others. Some of these couples are not high paid tech workers either. I'm even more amazed that some still find time for hobbies some how.

When you have over extended responsibilities you have to readjust expectations. Some adults never learn how to do that and feel miserable all the time.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#130

Post by nradov »

nemomarx wrote: post #90
nradov wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By any objective metric the world is less broken than ever before. But people who want to be defeatist and cynical can always find a plausible sounding reason to justify their negativity regardless of the facts. I'm part of an older generation and not burnt out or existentially starving or whatever. And more importantly I'm not actually starving or dying of plague or being sent off to die for my king or any of the ot…

I don't think anyone is comparing to old monarchies or etc, they're mentally comparing it to the 1950s and 60s and the postwar economic boom times. You can point out that things weren't as good as they're presented back then either, or that people are falling for advertising, but no one is really impressed that their living standard is better than the 1800s or earlier.

People should be impressed. We're doing a terrible job of teaching history. "Everything is amazing right now and nobody is happy."
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