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You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

neilthanedar.com

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Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#51

Post by kevinh »

llmslave2 wrote: post #46

Maybe this hits for millennials and older but as a gen-z I think it's safe to say we're burnt out because everything we want is simply too expensive, our degrees are useless, dating and relationships have become damaged because of the apps, and we are inheriting a world that is broken and continues to shatter. The older generations have everything and still feel burnt out and unhappy? Cool. Cool cool cool. That will…

15 years ago this exact comment would have been written swapping out millennials for gen x and gen z for millennials.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#52

Post by belval »

WXLCKNO wrote: post #22
belval wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's interesting that you get downvoted for what is, from a historical perspective, a very down-to-earth reasonable take. I don't have kids but I am at the age where more and more of my friends are having kids, there definitely does seem to be something there. They are exhausted but most definitely have a renewed spark of sorts. Unfortunately this is difficult to A/B test. So I'd avoid having kids to fix burn out.

I mean marriage is a global concept but it feels like the US makes a huge deal about it. Like two people can't be together without being married. But mostly it's a low effort low with quality comment that adds zero value and implicitly passes judgment on those who are not married and don't have kids. As if married people with kids are the happiest people in the world lol.

> I mean marriage is a global concept but it feels like the US makes a huge deal about it.

I should have made that part clearer but my comment was solely on the kids part of their statement. I don't think marriage is inherently different from any other long-term partnership when it comes "existentially starving".

> As if married people with kids are the happiest people in the world lol.

That's not what I meant at all. The article is about how burnout is a catchall that hides that at our core we actually struggle for meaning. "When facing the existential vacuum, there's only one way out - up, towards your highest purpose". Children do in a lot of way give meaning to your life, suddenly you have a reason for suffering. It's a hell of a stretch to call that happiness, but it's definitely something.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#53

Post by Christopgr »

justchad wrote: post #2

This resonates with me right now. I helped build a unicorn startup over the last 10 years but feel empty and burnt out when I’m working now. I feel like I’m wasting my time in exchange for a paycheck. I recently turned in my notice, I’m going on sabbatical. I’m hoping to find my passion and follow that. Finding that is something I’m struggling with though. Anyways, great article!

Also resonates with me. I helped my previous company scale and get acquired and then helped scale the new team some more. Then decided I wanted to go into a high-caliber start-up because I was kind of burned-out and after a year I did. I work with brilliant people, building a product that democratizes investing in my small EU country and seeing a company grow again is fun. The problem is we lack excitedness and the feedback loop is bad so my motivation hasn't picked-up. What helped me is a new hire that brought some emotions and excitedness to the team.

I have also been thinking of giving my notice for a while now, but I'm also struggling with finding a purpose so that part also hit me hard. I'm actually scared of leaving my job in case I find out it was the one thing that gave me purpose and I won't be able to find something better.

Congrats on doing it, and please do send a message if you do find something that gives you more purpose, it will greatly help me.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#54

Post by lnsru »

Aurornis wrote: post #36
StilesCrisis wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sadly, having more money doesn’t buy time. At least, not until you have enough money that you can hire assistants, but that’s pretty extreme.

I know a lot of people who DoorDash, have groceries delivered, have a house cleaner, and call a contractor for every small thing that needs to be done. They’re buying time. It’s never quite as much time as expected, though. Each is a marginal addition of free time that brings its own complications (like my friend who did an alarming amount of DoorDash and is now investing a lot of time into dropping weight and managi…

I am hardware developer and certified electrician as a hobby. I have regularly clients that are buying time while I do really simple things on the property. It’s really cringe to be asked to vacuum their dirt for couple hours. I am paid premium while the clients watch Netflix and later whine about running out of money. I tried politely ask to do rudimentary things by themselves, but it never worked out. I grew in poverty and have hard time understanding this.

My parents buy groceries delivery what is really useful and time saving on other hand. House cleaner is difficult topic, they do seldom a good job even when offered more money. Typical example: there is dirt under edges of carpet after vacuuming.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#55

Post by randallsquared »

homeonthemtn wrote: post #20

I am condensing down a much longer thought here but I would argue that this is the result of consumerism. You work to earn, you earn to buy. But buying is not meaning. It's a momentary sugar high that's lost to the wind the moment the transaction is over. No deeper life meaning can be derived from this. When your culture is based around constant self satisfaction, there's nothing bigger than the self. Community is de…

I think this is, in part, what the article is arguing. Community, and multi-generational culture and tradition, were a technology which helped populations thrive in what we now consider abject poverty. As the world gets wealthier, due to more recent technologies like widespread markets, staying in the same place and interacting with only the same 100-500 people for one's whole life is no longer something that almost everyone has to do, which explodes the basis for those earlier techs.

With TFR rapidly falling, current and future children are much less likely to even have any family other than parents, which cuts out another pillar supporting community and tradition, too.

I don't have a pat answer or know where this is going, but--assuming humanity survives--unless we want to turn into Asimov's Spacers, we'll have to find something to care about.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#56

Post by spoiler »

kevinh wrote: post #51
llmslave2 wrote: post #46

Maybe this hits for millennials and older but as a gen-z I think it's safe to say we're burnt out because everything we want is simply too expensive, our degrees are useless, dating and relationships have become damaged because of the apps, and we are inheriting a world that is broken and continues to shatter. The older generations have everything and still feel burnt out and unhappy? Cool. Cool cool cool. That will…

15 years ago this exact comment would have been written swapping out millennials for gen x and gen z for millennials.

As a late millennial: yep. We're in the same boat. Nihilistic optimism isn't the worst coping mechanism, though!

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#57

Post by Mistletoe »

QGQBGdeZREunxLe wrote: post #29
aster0id wrote: post #17

I agree with the premise but take issue with the measure for "success": do you feel excited to get up and work on Monday? We're humans and no matter what you're pursuing, you'll hit a point where your brain will adjust to the new reality and things will start feeling mundane. This is called the hedonic treadmill. To me, what has helped is developing hobbies and relationships outside of work. We're social animals and…

I was hooked by the first few paragraphs but the immediate switch to focus on work was disappointing. The happiest people I know treat work like the necessary evil to be endured to fulfill all other facets of life.

The happiest people I know don’t work or love their work. I can’t think of any that fit your description.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#58

Post by athrowaway3z »

parpfish wrote: post #50

One thing that I always try to bring up in these discussions is that “burnout” and “overwork” are two different problems, and I think this author would agree with me. If your problem could be fixed with a raise or a nice vacation, that’s overwork. 996 schedules, crunch time, and a high cost of living make overwork. Burnout is when you stat asking yourself “what’s the point of doing any of this?” and your life is over…

I think you need to rework some definitions or vocabulary if "overwork" is solved by "raise".

Maybe in extreme cases where a raise translates into big time savers like a maid, but those are not the type of raises you while keeping the same job.

Re: You’re not burnt out, you’re existentially starving

#60

Post by nxm »

lnsru wrote: post #54
Aurornis wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know a lot of people who DoorDash, have groceries delivered, have a house cleaner, and call a contractor for every small thing that needs to be done. They’re buying time. It’s never quite as much time as expected, though. Each is a marginal addition of free time that brings its own complications (like my friend who did an alarming amount of DoorDash and is now investing a lot of time into dropping weight and managi…

I am hardware developer and certified electrician as a hobby. I have regularly clients that are buying time while I do really simple things on the property. It’s really cringe to be asked to vacuum their dirt for couple hours. I am paid premium while the clients watch Netflix and later whine about running out of money. I tried politely ask to do rudimentary things by themselves, but it never worked out. I grew in pov…

Separately, what is a certified electrician - are you licensed in your state?
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