You can be happy doing what you're doing at the time, but that doesn't mean your life is in balance. It just means you're happy right now. Well, a heroin addict that shoots up is happy while he's high.
Think ahead a little.
Startup work-life balance
81–90 of 115 posts
Re: Startup work-life balance
#82I used to program all the time in high school. I thought I was happy. Then I went to college, met all sorts of people, had lots of experiences, and realized how narrow my life, and concept of happiness was. So when I hear people talk about how much they love their work, that's their own balance... I can't help but wonder if they just haven't learned how great the other parts of life are. And how much a wider range of…
What if they are happy at a local optimum, and what if we human could only feel happiness on a scale between the best we've been and the worst we've been? Sure then they may not be the happy at a maximum, but since they haven't found such a maximum yet their hapiness on a relative scale is 100%. In other words, ignorance is bliss, and if you don't have "other experiences", it doesn't matter, you could still be just a…
> Sure then they may not be the happy at a maximum, but since they haven't found such a maximum yet their hapiness on a relative scale is 100%.
Interesting concept. That may have been true 50 years ago when it was not really possible to discover if other people were happier than your personal 100% level. Unfortunately, due to the internet, TV and Hollywood, it's extremely easy to discover there are tons of people out there happier than you.
After traveling the back roads of Central and South America for 2 years, it was amazing to show up in a dirt-street town where people were struggling to get food and potable water, and see them crowd around a TV and watch a blonde hair, blue eyed Jennifer Anniston complain about some trivial issue like her sofa not matching the carpet. Hollywood is an excellent marketing department, and purveyor of a "You are not as happy as you could be" mentality.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#83It feels like the author picked the 8 hour work day. I don't see that as part of the overall discussion on balance. The main point of balance is that you are a more complete human being when you participate in a wider range of activities. Even if that just means you're a better developer because you stepped away for an hour or a week and got a new perspective. Just because you're not miserable only doing primarily on…
Balance is what YOU as an individual need to be balanced. You are projecting your opinion on everyone else that you need to do other things to be happier. That is what makes YOU happy. So go do it! But, it doesn't mean that everyone will be happier doing that. The point of this post is that everyone needs balance and needs to do what they think will make them feel balanced. And rather than adhering to dogma of others…
That you are replying to every single comment with a defensive rationale tells me your motivations for posting this are not balanced with the interests of the site. Not to mention that you are offering dogma while saying you're trying to steer people away from dogma.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#84Her high school life sounds sad. If she really had a fulfilling social life in high school she wouldn't feel the need to tell us all how great it was that she didn't go to parties. It reminds me of people who are constantly broadcasting to everyone how happy they are. Chances are, they're not.
Seriously? It sounds fantastic to me. I would have loved to spend less time in high school hanging out with idiotic, insecure teenagers and more time getting shit done.
There's no such thing as a satisfying, fulfilling experience of high school. The grass there will always seem like it was greener on the other side.
The real reason for this is that we take such large jumps in maturity after school stops holding us back that, in retrospect, we realize that if we hadn't been such fucking idiots in high school, we could have had it all.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
Or confirmation bias / projecting. "I didn't have a happy high school years so how can she?"
That's certainly possible. But how do you know? It could also be your own projecting of the same thing.
The post's entire argument is phrased in terms of a value judgement. There is no way to react to it without presenting an alternative value system.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#86[deleted]
Re: Startup work-life balance
#87Would it not be simpler to say 'some things you do adds energy to you' and 'some things you do drains energy from you' avoid deficit energy days if possible.
I can spend a couple of hours programming and be hugely energized by it, and I can spend a couple of hours watching TV and be drained by it. The reverse is also true.
Be aware of your energy flow and balance it.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#88I used to program all the time in high school. I thought I was happy. Then I went to college, met all sorts of people, had lots of experiences, and realized how narrow my life, and concept of happiness was. So when I hear people talk about how much they love their work, that's their own balance... I can't help but wonder if they just haven't learned how great the other parts of life are. And how much a wider range of…
Absoutely. I was similar to the author all the through college. Then I got a job, which was a brutal entry level programmer job. It killed what little social life I had at that point. But the upside was that I was pretty good at it and started making some decent money. Over time I was able to use my professional capital to switch to a company with much healthier expectations. I was able to go out and explore the worl…
surio, your account was hellbanned 5 days ago.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#89I used to program all the time in high school. I thought I was happy. Then I went to college, met all sorts of people, had lots of experiences, and realized how narrow my life, and concept of happiness was. So when I hear people talk about how much they love their work, that's their own balance... I can't help but wonder if they just haven't learned how great the other parts of life are. And how much a wider range of…
I want to second this comment. I spent my high school, and college years programming stupid shit and I had fun, but if I could go back I'd slap myself and learn some basic social skills and just be a kid. My social circle now days consists of senior programmers, managers, and BA's twice my age. You have your whole life to build up wealth, but I really feel I missed the boat by not building up some really good friendships during my school years.
TL;DR
Lasting happiness is having social skills and quality relationships; not an advanced software developer skill set.
Re: Startup work-life balance
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
What if they are happy at a local optimum, and what if we human could only feel happiness on a scale between the best we've been and the worst we've been? Sure then they may not be the happy at a maximum, but since they haven't found such a maximum yet their hapiness on a relative scale is 100%. In other words, ignorance is bliss, and if you don't have "other experiences", it doesn't matter, you could still be just a…
> Sure then they may not be the happy at a maximum, but since they haven't found such a maximum yet their hapiness on a relative scale is 100%. Interesting concept. That may have been true 50 years ago when it was not really possible to discover if other people were happier than your personal 100% level. Unfortunately, due to the internet, TV and Hollywood, it's extremely easy to discover there are tons of people out…
True, it may no longer be easy to do that passively - it now requires active action, like refusing to watch TV. (maybe that's why more and more people are complaining about not being happy - it's no longer the default!)
Still I believe there's some interest in doing that. If you are interested in maximizing your happiness, refusing the "You are not as happy as you could be" is required. It can be hard, especially if you know the fakeness of your action and that people do differently.
I wouldn't say they are happier than you : they seem to be, but they have their own problems. And if you watch them too much or try to emulate them too much, they make you less happy (following my own theory)
IMHO, the answer is still to join the rat race, but at your own pace, and for your own gain in happiness.