I'm writing this 38 hours before I go into my workplace on Monday that I will surely survive, and while I am told I have a better than 99% chance of making it to this time next year, I still feel, though I am too old (late 20s) to deal with these things, that I have wasted too much time. I'd like to impart some lessons.
1. Relax. Go home, smoke weed, play video games. During my first job I worked from home but I was still young and horny 24/7 so I spent most of my time just gooning. I lived in a shitty rental apartment so I didn't care at all about keeping it clean. Best time of my life.
2. If you haven't done something difficult yet, probably there's a good reason why. Most motivated, hard-working people fail. Just chill the fuck out. You know those old men in poor countries who sit entire day just talking and playing boardgames that have already been mathematically solved? This is winning at life. Be like that.
3. I love all those hippie visions where together we push humanity forward, but the truth is, compassion is scarce, and most people are dangerous morons. If you want a romantic story of a brave soldier who kept fighting despite being surrounded sure, go ahead, but in real life the only thing that counts is power. If you are in power don't be afraid of exercising it.
4. Animals can be cute. The evolutionary reason why we love them is that they're "practice babies" before we get real ones. Speaking of babies, just don't. Your instincts are lying to you.
5. You are going to die sad and alone. That's how it is. Deal with it.
That's probably enough for now. My mind goes between periods of racing and long spells of languid acceptance. All humans end up in the place where I am, and I hope you reach it with fewer regrets than I have.