421–430 of 470 posts
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I completely agree. Life as a parent is only about oneself insofar as looking after yourself is good for your family.
children mimic the actions and lifestyle of their parents being a role model means demonstrating how to be happy an existence proof of a good and happy life is a powerful thing people learn at a young age that words are cheap. advice doesn't cut it
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> There is simply no excuse for this. The fault is here: > my parents were not a love match. at 27 and 26, they were embarrassingly old by the standards of their small chinese port town. all four of my grandparents exerted enormous pressure to force them together. You have an entire community that exerted enough social pressure to force two people together by fiat who clearly did not want to be together. Reading betw…
A person can be both a victimizer and a victim, in fact probably most are. Victim status does not excuse the victimizers actions, even if it sometimes helps explain them. We can study the root causes to help prevent it in the future and simultaneously realize that the man was a scumbag.
If so, then you are painting everybody, including the wife, with that same scumbag brush.
The wife didn't have to get married, but she did because of the social pressure. The wife didn't have to get pregnant (not just once, but twice), but she did because of the social pressure. The wife didn't have to stay married but did because of the social pressure. etc.
If you have a situation with enough social pressure to force two people who really don't want one another into both marriage and child rearing, it's not clear there is any viable way for the individuals involved to correct the situation afterward.
I may not approve, but it is hard to blame.
The deliberate choice of committing such a basic mistake of lower-casing the beginning of all sentences is an insult. I am afraid of reading it, becoming desensitized, and starting to do the same.
It’s not a mistake, it’s a choice. Quite a common one among younger people who grew up using Slack at work and iMessage everywhere else.
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Coercing someone to remain in a loveless marriage while you abandon and repeatedly cheat on them sure is though.
so by this rational a person can be abused without even being aware of it and seeing no comparable ill effect? Where is the line drawn? Am I abusing my spouse when I decide that we're a bit too over-stretched financially and that we're going to need to skip the surprise Disney World trip that I had planned but hadn't yet told them about? What about if I think they just didn't try their hardest during the family softb…
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There's judging people, and there's judging actions. - Getting married under societal pressure even when you're pretty sure you're gay: I'm willing to cut him some slack on this. - Having gay affairs while you're married: It puts your wife at risk of disease, but OK, you've been placed in a messed up, lose-lose situation. - Telling a lover you want to be exclusive, and getting him to move to a completely new country,…
>Having gay affairs while you're married: It puts your wife at risk of disease, but OK In what world is this ever "OK"?
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>Having gay affairs while you're married: It puts your wife at risk of disease, but OK In what world is this ever "OK"?
It works better when you don't remove half the sentence.
Ouch. This hits incredibly hard. I’ve been this dad who sits frozen at the TV every evening. I had the affairs with the emotionally unavailable men, and became one myself. Before you judge the man in this story too harshly — and there’s certainly much to judge, especially given the follow-up post — consider the environment he and I grew up in. Being gay as a young teenager in the early 1990s could feel literally like…
I see his actions as immoral (not as much as most violence) but could seem justified to a person in his circumstances with reasonable moral judgement. He grew up in a social environment where coming out as gay would make everyone around him sad and angry/ashamed at him. But he was gay, intrinsically. Eventually (possibly because of societal acceptance, possibly because he decided total suppression wasn’t worth it), h…
That's the good case. The bad case would be he would lose his job, and be forced into poverty.
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It works better when you don't remove half the sentence.
No it doesn't. Voluntarily choosing to marry someone, choosing to deceive them in such a cruel and selfish way, choosing to betray a solemn vow is not being "placed in a messed up, lose-lose situation". It is deliberate, conscious, malicious action over many years upon an innocent victim. The circumstances are entirely of his own creation. He is 100% culpable.
for all the lowercase complainers: document.querySelectorAll("p").forEach(p => p.textContent = p.textContent.replace(/(^\w)|([.?!]\s*\w)|( i'? )/g, m => m.toUpperCase()));
Or using CSS p:first-letter{ text-transform: capitalize;}: document.styleSheets[0].insertRule("p:first-letter{ text-transform: capitalize;}",document.styleSheets[0].cssRules.length);