Homeschooling hits record numbers • Hacker News Board

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#571

Post by oxag3n » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:17 AM UTC

array_key_first wrote: post #448

hereme888 wrote: post #234

The biggest misunderstanding I hear year-over-year is homeschoolers are "not exposed to the real world". Isolation exists for some, but my extensive interaction with homeschoolers is they are immersed in healthy communities, hand-picked by parents to keep away problem children. Who would plant a flower next to a sick or hostile one? Parents of healthy children should give 0 s*ts of societal/political pressure against…

My general experience is that homeschool children have self esteem and confidence issues precisely because they've been around 'hand picked' people... forever. They've never experienced assholes, or people who think their personality is grating, or whatever. Thick skin needs to be built up, to a degree. I'm not saying bullying is good, but being exposed to the unwashed masses definitely can be.

I watched my kids becoming a median of their classmates. After changing to a private school it was noticeable after a month - different lexicon, mimics, attitude.

It's not thick skin they are developing around assholes, it's them incorporating that behavior to some degree. There was nothing I could do to change that - talks, good example, nothing worked, only surrounding change.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#572

Post by eucyclos » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:17 AM UTC

kylehotchkiss wrote: post #147

I can't say my public school experience was great, I was bullied and didn't really click with the popular kids, but being around a cross section of actual American kids in my age group (my school district mixed middle class with lower class neighborhoods) helped me shape my worldview and learn to deal with people who didn't look or talk like me. I frequently saw fights, so I learned that you just stay away and watch…

Speaking of bullying, high school caused me to greatly overestimate how important unarmed combat would be to my future success in life.

It's nice to not worry about it on the rare occasion that I go to sketchy places, but it also highlights that dealing with a cross section of our country's population is not necessarily relevant to the kind of life we build when we can choose our peers.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#573

Post by eucyclos » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:19 AM UTC

prng2021 wrote: post #546

ecshafer wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My kids are not school age yet, and I am not sure on if I will home school or not. But I do think its possible to get good socialization exposure while homeschooling. There is the neighborhood kids, you have sports and clubs kids can join, religious groups. Plus not all homeschooling is just a student staying at home all day. Some people "homeschooling" I know are groups of parents getting together to educate their c…

Everytime I see these kinds of arguments, it sounds like someone desperately trying to argue that a park playground is almost as entertaining for kids as an amusement park. Your example of 5 kids socializing with each other is definitely better than 1 kid at home. It’s also definitely worse than learning to socialize in a school of 500 kids each day. This is undeniable unless you have an argument of how a pool of 500…

>This is undeniable unless you have an argument of how a pool of 500 kids would somehow have less diversity of personality, thought, languages, physical features, intelligence, etc.

I have such an argument - have you considered the amount of forced social conformity in a public school versus a community of homeschooled people? Humans are weird in a way that 'public school culture' tries to paper over.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#574

Post by lurking_swe » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:22 AM UTC

PKop wrote: post #421

lurking_swe wrote: post #148

Earlier quoted context omitted.

that’s a great fantasy but when you consider, statistically, how many marriages end in divorce - that’s a foolish plan. EVERYONE thinks their marriage is different or special. Maybe working part time is OK, you at least have some job history. But no work history for 10+ years? Great ways to put all your eggs into 1 basket and potentially end up a poor single mom. And i say this as a husband and father.

If your wife wanted to stay home with the kids and not work, you would have forced her into the rat race or given her what she wants? It is not a foolish plan to confidently honor your vows and act accordingly. Condemning a wife who wants to raise her children as best as possible and to enjoy herself, to working for the man in some corporate gig and then blaming it on her need for work experience once you guys get di…

If you approach it like that then sure LOL. Hilarious honestly. We also haven’t even discussed being eligible for social security and how that would play into finances post divorce.

Anyway the conversation would be more like this:

“hey, you know you can do whatever you want and i’ll 100% support your decision. We’re a team. And your contributions as a stay at home mom would be very much valued. But I also don’t want to take away your independence, and I want to make sure you’re not screwed if (god forbid) our marriage ever ends up in divorce. Have you considered working part time? If that’s still too much then OK - i’ll support your decision. Think about it.”

Basically:

- i support you 100% because we’re a team.

- don’t ever feel like i’m “asking” you to stay home with the kids.

- god forbid we end up divorced, don’t “complain” afterward that i wasn’t looking out for your best interest or i didn’t warn you of the worst case outcome.

but all of this is kind of moot anyway. If someone dreamed of being a stay at home mom since like 10, then that’s different. That’s supporting a dream. But it’s unethical for me to not inform someone of the possible downsides and have a conversation about it.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#575

Post by damascus » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:25 AM UTC

skeeter2020 wrote: post #306

ecshafer wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My kids are not school age yet, and I am not sure on if I will home school or not. But I do think its possible to get good socialization exposure while homeschooling. There is the neighborhood kids, you have sports and clubs kids can join, religious groups. Plus not all homeschooling is just a student staying at home all day. Some people "homeschooling" I know are groups of parents getting together to educate their c…

It's going to depend greatly on your geo location and socioeconomic circumstances, but a homeschooled kid who interacts a lot in the neighbourhood (big "if", IME; those kids all have a lot of school friends) is still going to miss out on broader social, cultural, racial and financial exposure. Example: my white, middle-class kids have a lot of people exactly like them in community groups and sports clubs, but lots of…

The venn diagram of 'homeschooled' and 'goes to church regularly' is not quite a circle but its not far off. Moderate to large churches also provide a great deal of socialization in this same way. Cross-socio-economic, racial, and other bases, all with a shared value system that creates a localized high trust environment that affords a greater degree of freedom for child autonomy.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#576

Post by el_benhameen » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:26 AM UTC

oceansky wrote: post #495

ranbato wrote: post #384

Didn't homeschool here but started a charter school instead. Some of our neighbors did homeschool and I have mixed feelings about it. Some did very well, some not so well; but of course the same can be said of all of the kids in the area no matter which way they went. A few things I'll note: - educational spending has almost zero correlation with outcomes - the number one indicator of educational success is parental…

I am really really skeptical of the first bullet point.

Yeah I think the context matters a lot there. I’m assuming it means “on a state by state basis”, which is true. But within my state, at least, family income, outside spending, and property tax revenues correlate very strongly with outcomes.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#577

Post by twodave » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:28 AM UTC

Anecdotally, our family would not survive without homeschooling. I wouldn’t say we are a common situation, 4 kids who each have different learning challenges. I don’t think public education or their peers in those institutions would have been very merciful to them.

I believe that for kids have parents willing to provide it, home education (especially when tailored to the child) is always going to outperform other forms of education. There are trade-offs, and those trade-offs have become easier to deal with in the last 10 years even. Our kids each get the amount of socialization that works for them, have volunteer opportunities and community groups, etc.

The main reason it works, though, is that my wife is willing and our finances support her to do it full-time. I know there are plenty of families where both spouses can work while homeschooling, but for our particular needs that would never work out.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#578

Post by hirvi74 » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:34 AM UTC

twodave wrote: post #577

Anecdotally, our family would not survive without homeschooling. I wouldn’t say we are a common situation, 4 kids who each have different learning challenges. I don’t think public education or their peers in those institutions would have been very merciful to them. I believe that for kids have parents willing to provide it, home education (especially when tailored to the child) is always going to outperform other for…

> 4 kids who each have different learning challenges. I don’t think public education or their peers in those institutions would have been very merciful to them.

You are likely correct, if their experiences were to be anything like mine growing up. It was somewhat traumatic, honestly. I had learning and behavioral issues that I didn't know until I was an adult.

As a silver-lining, I suppose I also have to be somewhat thankful for what I learned. I feel somewhat well prepared to navigate the social and occupational issues that arise in workplaces because, despite my challenges, the working world is just as merciless if not worse.

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#579

Post by eucyclos » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:35 AM UTC

tclancy wrote: post #558

typeofhuman wrote: post #536

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Homeschoolers tend to outperform their regular school peers. But I think parental involvement is a significant differential and is probably contributing to the outcomes.

In what and citation needed.

"In study after study, the homeschooled have scored, on average, at the 65th to 80th percentile on standardized academic achievement tests in the United States and Canada, compared to the public school average of the 50th percentile."[1]

"Descriptive analysis reveals homeschool students possess higher ACT scores, grade point averages (GPAs) and graduation rates when compared to traditionally-educated students."[2]

[1]https://www.educacaodomiciliar.fe.unicamp.br/sites/www.educa...

[2]https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ893891

Re: Homeschooling hits record numbers

#580

Post by deadeye » Sat, Nov 22, 2025, 2:37 AM UTC

The problem with public schools is that they are free and required (essentually). That is a bad combination.

There is really nothing intrinsically good about the average public school. Many are filled with kids that aren't there to learn. From the attitudes seen in this forum, that seems to be OK, because school is paradoxically about "socializing", while most here report being bullied.

As noticed here many home schoolers have religious reasons for their choice. The reason is simple, "Don't send your children to Ceasar and then be upset when they come home as Romans".