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My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

sashachapin.substack.com

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Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#11

Post by fgonzag »

fragmede wrote: post #5

> I was probably the most severely bullied kid at my school. > I was demonstrating my erudition Those two things might have been linked. I wasn't there, but I'm suspicious. Fortunately the author learns better by the end of the article, but it stuck out to me because LLMs have made people suspicious of five dollar words like delve so to use the word erudition in this day and age is a choice.

The post has just enough minor grammatical imperfections that a LLM wouldn't make that I don't for a second believe this copy was written by an LLM .

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#12

Post by ZpJuUuNaQ5 »

Appreciate the writing and the author's fortitude in achieving their goals. While I never had friends, neither online nor in person, I cannot identify with this at all - it reads like a strange, obsessive seeking of external validation which I have never felt myself. Maybe I am just disinterested in people in general.

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#14

Post by fragmede »

fgonzag wrote: post #11
fragmede wrote: post #5

> I was probably the most severely bullied kid at my school. > I was demonstrating my erudition Those two things might have been linked. I wasn't there, but I'm suspicious. Fortunately the author learns better by the end of the article, but it stuck out to me because LLMs have made people suspicious of five dollar words like delve so to use the word erudition in this day and age is a choice.

The post has just enough minor grammatical imperfections that a LLM wouldn't make that I don't for a second believe this copy was written by an LLM .

"now add some grammatical errors and a couple of spelling mistakes so it feels more like it was written by a human"

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#15

Post by stavros »

fragmede wrote: post #8
stavros wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, in the timeline, this was after the author was bullied. Also, he says: > In essence, I became an example of obnoxious precocity, a heartfelt young wordcel. So it doesn't sound like disagrees with you either way.

It's all in the preamble before the later sections of learning and my implicit point was that my social awkwardness got better when I stopped trying to show off how smart I am. It still comes out occasionally, and I don't try to be condescending, so I do really appreciate my close friends when they give me feedback when I am. My other point though is that as people using AI to generate content take the time to tell C…

I know this article wasn't written by an LLM because the writing isn't mediocre.

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#16

Post by mierz00 »

That was a delightful read.

The last part resonates with me, early on I realised that listening to people was the easy ticket to connection.

But like the author, a lot of the time I was not emotionally available for that connection and I have definitely caused some pain and confusion.

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#17

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

I’m “on the spectrum,” but I had no idea, until I was in my forties. I just assumed (as did most folks), that I was “eccentric” (or “weird,” for the not inconsiderable number of people that didn’t like me).

Once I did find out, it wasn’t really a huge revelation, as I was already well on my way towards learning to compensate.

I know that the popular outlook, is that folks use “neurodivergent” diagnoses to excuse (and not address) bad social behavior, but that certainly wasn’t the case for me. It was just another data point.

If we’re jerks, then no one will cut us any slack; regardless of a diagnosis. It’s still incumbent upon us, to address the issue.

In my case, I’ve spent my entire adult life in an organization that forces us to work intimately with others, seek out and interact with many types of people, and to look at ourselves, in a harsh, realistic manner.

That naturally encouraged me to address my social issues, regardless of the causes. Eventually, it also forced me to find the cause, but by then, the cure was already under way.

Re: My stages of learning to be a socially normal person

#18

Post by 0_____0 »

fragmede wrote: post #7
0_____0 wrote: post #3

I wish I had the drive to do as much work as the author has. Instead I will live more or less where I am now, stably in social mediocrity, perpetually somewhat impedance mismatched with the people around me.

The problem with accounts of life like the author is that it sums up a whole hell of a lot of time into a nice short Saturday morning read. In this case, it sounds like it spans multiple decades. It sounds like you feel socially awkward. You really don't think you can do something about that in thirty years? In November of 2055, you expect you'll be the same bag of awkward you are today? 1,500 weeks or so from now, y…

Thanks for the encouragement. I wrote my comment while a bit hungover from a dinner party :) In general I'm OK with how I interact with people.

I think we're all a bit impedance mismatched. The author's experience of having instant intimacy I think is a result of what happens when you spend the time to become completely attuned to other people. He found drawbacks to that skill.

What I really meant is that I don't know if I want that level of interpersonal skill. I'm actually kind of happy bumbling about socially, making jokes that don't quite land, alternating taking up too much space with not taking up enough.

The older I get, the less I desire perfection and power in all domains. I look forward to being a bit of an oaf.

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