Maybe you’re not trying

Definitely resonating with some of this right now, continuing on a journey of discovery of my self and my past. Thank you for sharing

Hm.

Its an easy trap to fall into to say that people are in hard situations because They Arent Trying Hard Enough.

Your manager might think so.

Your company probably thinks youre not trying hard enough.

…but, there is a also reality, which is overloading people with impossible expectations and then watching them fail isnt helpful.

Its not a learning experience.

Its just mean, and selfish… even when those expectations are, perhaps, self imposed.

If youre in one of these situations, you should ask for help.

If you see someone in them, you should offer to help.

Its well documented that gifted children struggle as adults because they struggle under the weigh of expectations.

The soltuion to this is extremely rarey self reflection about not trying hard enough.

Geez. Talk about setting people up for failure.

The OP literally succeeded by asking for help, yet somehow, walked away with no appreciation of it.

This is an idea that philosophers have played with in countless varieties, perhaps the one closest to the author's wording is Jean-Paul Sartre's concept of bad faith. Faced with anxiety, guilt or overwhelming weight of responsibility, it's often easier to subconsciously sidestep the problem and pretend you don't have a choice, even if you do. This is not even a conscious decision, it's hard to be aware of our own quirks and biases.

> particles that behave deterministically

I'm not a physicist I'll admit, but this seems like a controversial statement.

I didn’t take it that way at all. I took it as “I was blinded from the actual solution because my vision was artificially narrow due to my past experiences with this person.” They didn’t ask for help, their partner intervened for them with a completely different and more direct approach.

I have a kid going thru this right now. It’s very disheartening and frustrating to see, because even with coaching and help, they don’t see the help and suggestions as solutions because they simply can’t see it. And as a parent you don’t want to have to intervene, you want them to learn how to dig their way out of it. But it’s tough to get them to dig when they don’t believe in shovels.