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Facts about throwing good parties

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Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#51

Post by jrochkind1 »

dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

I think some cultures are definitely more social/cooperative and some less, and Brazil and the US may be on opposite ends. I also think the US may be having a social crisis at the moment.

But my guess is that in Brazil many of the things in this list are things that party host(s) (and their circles) are doing, intuitively and without thinking about it. Or different things with similar effects.

I didn't see anything in the OP about anyone comparing party quality or hosting abilities.

But when you go to a party and it's a great party, often it's because someone put effort into it. The better they are at it, the fewer people might notice. and it might come naturally to them, maybe they never had to make a list like this (a very particular kind of brain, sure). But a succesful party (where people enjoy themselves and it feels good) has people putting energy into making it vibe. Again, perhaps inuitivley and naturally and because it's something everyone learns how to do organically in a society. But I'm gonna guess this is true in Brazil too.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#53

Post by zie »

buildsjets wrote: post #43
TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Posts like this really make me feel like I'm living in a completely different reality from some people. I can't tell how much of this is exaggerated for comedic value and how much of it is genuine.

I'd say a different era rather than a different reality. The Dave Barry quote is obviously humor. But back from the late 1980s to the early 2000s, I was genuinely at numerous house parties, basement concerts, and un-permitted raves which where broken up by authorities, including some where the power was cut, (or worse, where the music was cut and lights flipped on full bright) and the cops forced everyone to pile int…

> I don't hear bumping bass from the neighborhoods on Saturday night like I used to.

You obviously just moved neighborhoods :)

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#55

Post by ghssds »

buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

If it turns out cops won't come, you can always call them yourself to make sure your party is a success.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#56

Post by baby »

I've organized so many parties that I feel qualified to comment here :D (actually sorry but the other commens I've read feel silly).

Love the number one advice of the post: focusing on yourself having a good time. Although the more you organize the easier it gets.

> 5) Use an app like Partiful or Luma

I refuse to use an event page personally because I think it makes it less personal. I always DM people directly if I want to invite them.

Also always try to get people to invite their friends as well. That'a the upside of gatherings: you get to meet new people effortlessly. And this solves a number of the problem in the post's list.

> In a small group, the quality of the experience will depend a lot on whether the various friends blend together well

Na, just invite everyone, diversity is a feature.

IMO most of the advice are over engineer. Here are more from mine:

- soundproof with plants and rugs and stuff in the room so it doesn't get echo'y

- play some background music at low volume

- always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing

- don't have seats otherwise people will sit down, and sitting down is the party killer

- don't prep anything. The place will get messy anyway. Just make sure people bring food and drinks.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#57

Post by jauntywundrkind »

rossdavidh wrote: post #2

"21) The biggest problem at many parties is an endless escalation of volume. If you know how to fix this, let me know." Only way I know is to have a porch, garage, or other connected-but-not-the-same-space open for people to spill into.

Ideally this is something we could solve with data, with letting people see the trend over time, with some call to action moments to quiet the fuck down for a minute, reset the otherwise only up-moving gauge.

Every now and then I'll resort to just turning the volume up so that people give up. No, sorry, conversation is already basically impossible except via shouting, so I'm going to up the volume to prevent conversations for a little bit, interrupt the flow, then go back down.

I'd love some volume meters that have very visible displays. It's in the red! Everyone chill out! Or ideally presenting some view over time. Little tablet screens placed about or above that show some logarithmic time scale of volume, so people can calibrate, see the bad trend line. There need to be enough different volume-over-time systems about so people know where the problem really is coming from too. Most people at the party are just trying to talk, so the real art of debugging this nonsense is finding who is being extra loud, and introducing some observability to let the specific worst offenders fix their specific loudness issues, then the rest of the party can de-escalate too.

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#58

Post by ibejoeb »

ssl-3 wrote: post #10
buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

I had a halloween party once. It had everything: Substance abuse, debauchery, a proper PA system shaking the floor, good lighting, costumes, good people we knew, random other people we'd never met before, a keg of beer, epic bean dip... everything but the police, somehow. Anyway, my boss showed up. I don't know if I invited him or if he just decided to be there on his own. He was having a great time with everything,…

Were the parties every the same, or did he bring the wild?

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#59

Post by cindyllm »

ghssds wrote: post #55
buildsjets wrote: post #7

I sure miss the kind of parties where they have to get an emergency court order to cut power the building at 3am. I learned everything I need to know about throwing parties from Dave Barry. If you throw a party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What…

If it turns out cops won't come, you can always call them yourself to make sure your party is a success.

[dead]

Re: Facts about throwing good parties

#60

Post by Aurornis »

dlisboa wrote: post #14

I feel like this is really an American culture thing where parties or dinner parties are mostly the responsibility of the host. In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities. In Brazil you throw a party to people you like and they all have a hand in helping you, sharing the load. Everyone will be responsible for some part of it, all of it is organized informally, there are…

America is a huge place with a lot of different cultures. Even within a big city you’ll find social circles with different ideas of what partying is like. I have friend groups that have completely different ideas of what gatherings are and I adapt depending on the group. There is not a singular American party style.

> In movies or TV there’s even a common theme of guests judging the host’s hosting abilities.

That’s a movie trope. You can find parties and social groups like this if you search around long enough, but most people are decidedly not like this.

Don’t take American movies too seriously as an indicator of American culture.

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