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You are how you act

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Re: You are how you act

#21

Post by mooreds »

I enjoyed the post. I accept that it's a bit weird coming from a Facebook exec (ad hominem, etc).

What I found particularly insightful is the point that we have a double standard. I judge myself by my intentions and others by their actions. I'd seen this before, but never tied to historical thinkers.

One way to work around this is to ask yourself "what would I think if I saw a friend doing X" where X is what you intend to do. Of course, most folks are more forgiving of a friend than a stranger, but even that small amount of distance and perspective can help you make a better decision.

Re: You are how you act

#23

Post by benfortuna »

mtharrison wrote: post #4

The mask becomes the face

This is exactly what he is proposing, because it is more "useful". But it hardly gives you agency to be someone you are inherently not.

Authenticity is what we lack in the modern world and he is totally fine with that.

Re: You are how you act

#25

Post by tonmoy »

thahajemni wrote: post #15
hippich wrote: post #2

> You can’t always change how you feel, but you can always decide what to do next. Unfortunately, in my experience, how I feel does affect what I decide to do (or not do) next. But I certainly like to think I have agency, so there is that..

As someone with autism, I often feel the urge to do certain things, but I know they aren't fitting, morally right, or socially acceptable, so I refrain. I deeply resonated with the author's discussion of Benjamin Franklin, because this is exactly how I live. Virtue is a habit, not an essence: I don't feel like being social, I don't feel like being moral, I don't feel like fitting in—but I still do it. Because in the…

As someone neurotypical I take it for granted that my feelings most often align with what’s best to fit in with society. A few times it doesn’t and I end up giving in to my feelings and do the morally wrong thing

Re: You are how you act

#26

Post by aDyslecticCrow »

raverbashing wrote: post #6

Remember the Franklin thinking is used by several people to do "good deed math", meaning they do good to justify other crappy attitudes they have elsewhere

just because some people pervert the concept doesn't invalidate the concept.

A good and a bad doesn't make a neutral.

Re: You are how you act

#27

Post by daveaiello »

We see this around us every day, in every way.

I just realized that you can connect the two with another maxim that we've all heard a million times:

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

This puts further weight behind the intellectual arrow that embodies Franklin's ideals.

Re: You are how you act

#29

Post by brna-2 »

I know ultimately I am not good nor bad, I am not an absolute. I am an agentic blob of meat, and with every decision I can choose any of the paths at my disposal, rewriting my story as I go. There is something I live by, though. My whole life I have observed in others the ideals that I came to admire or to hate, and I try to adhere to the ones I admire as often as I can, as I am pretty sure I would hate myself otherwise.

Re: You are how you act

#30

Post by Eddy_Viscosity2 »

The last psychiatrist talked about narcissism alot and his advice is that if you are a narcissist, the best thing you can do is to 'fake' being a good person. Just do and say the things you think a genuinely caring and sympathetic person would do and say. It won't change you deep down, but it will spare the people in the world around you.
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