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Instead of asking people why they're asking you "to be more empathetic", maybe you should ask yourself why you're prompting such a request?
If people (multiple)are straight up telling you to be more empathetic it probably means you are being a dick.
You can unpack it: "You have made this person unhappy, and you didn't notice. Here are things that you may not have noticed about this person: X, Y, and Z. They see this encounter like thus-and-such. Now that you know that, you can interact with them in a way that makes both of you happier."
Some people observe that more easily than others. It seems to be the case that some are neurologically lacking the ability to do it at an intuitive level, though you can do just as well with conscious observation and rational conclusions. That is more effort, but "whoops, it's just too hard" has never been a good excuse for anything. It gets easier with practice, and when you're too tired to make the effort, you can learn tactics to cope. (Such as, "Hey, I don't think I can have this conversation right now. I'm sorry about that. Can we please resume this later?")
Too many people, including some very prominent ones, have decided that any effort is too much, and that they are better off being dicks. I can't necessarily refute that. But I can say that if you're a dick, people are going to treat you like a dick, and that is likely to end badly for you.
The collapse of Theory of Mind entails the development of a new form of words and explanations that current language is unable to deliver.
I always thought of empathy as being able to really relate, emotionally, to what another person is feeling/going through. As a kid I'd sometimes see people crying together on TV when something bad happens to one of them and wonder if that really happens in real life. Even though it wasn't something that came naturally to me in the past, I still tried to be a decent person and adjust my behavior where relevant, and tr…
Yes. I'd go so far as to say empathy has nothing to do with being nice, it's simply the ability to feel, often involuntarily, what other people feel. It's the part of you which makes you wince when you see someone stub their toe. It's a type of feelings which can inspire you to be nice to other people, but it can also actually make you not nice to them. When people make you feel things you don't want to feel. An exam…
Boy did I hate this one being taught to me back in the day, by my country's first privately owned TV channel.
If people (multiple)are straight up telling you to be more empathetic it probably means you are being a dick.
...or neurodivergent. Please try to be more empathetic!
The collapse of Theory of Mind entails the development of a new form of words and explanations that current language is unable to deliver.
Theory of mind: it's just a theory!
Which is how only a new language and level of explanation solves that paradox.
But having empathy does not necessarily mean you need to change the way you behave or feel. Growth does and that's what "being more empathetic" requires.
I read this as a framing that allows the author and people like them to warm to the idea, as part of a longer iterative process -- Understanding first, then decide what's warranted, assess how you feel about the thing you did, repeat. I can't say if this affects the author, but I am aware that some people have a neurotype that is very opposed to "being told what to do", especially when they can't reason to it themsel…
Bingo. Having the right to decide what's warranted in a situation a.k.a. essential human autonomy: a thing which isn't meant to somehow cancel out with being considerate of others or having a role in society. That's the question which IMO the post and most comments here are either vaguely getting at, or studiously avoiding.
It's essential to empathize. Few things are more worthwhile than understanding others. It's by empathy that I've learned how when someone actually says something about "eMpAtHy" at you, they're usually trying to scam you out of genuine emotional labor. Beware this - chances are your own sorry ass would be your only recompense.
Tbh I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone say this particular one to me (or anywhere around me, maybe I'm too unapproachable hehe) but do I tend to hear "you should be more empathetic" as "someone other than you has already decided what's warranted, which you're supposed to telepathically infer, except there's no such person and we don't actually understand in what ways we need you to modify your behavior or why; so you're gonna have to come up with that by yourself, too - on your own time ofc"
This happens because they don't have sufficient empathy to have a mature conversation with you about what's what, but have heard the word on the influence grapevine and are quick as ever to brand themselves with it.
It's always fun to pretend to take these dog whistles in good faith, the Pavlovians don't know what hit 'em. Your own dam treadmill, that's wha
Empathy is not sympathy. If my sports team beats your sports team, I can empathize with your feelings of loss but I don't sympathize. We win and you lose, lol. Conversely, as someone who has never experienced a terminal disease, I'll admit that I cannot really empathize with someone who is experiencing such a thing. I've read books and watched movies and heard testimonials, and yet still I don't really know what it's…
https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/sympathy-empathy-dif...