Modern messaging: Running your own XMPP server

Good stuff. I run my own ejabberd server and it's been great. Installation is relatively straightforward, configuration isn't terribly convoluted, and it "just works" once up and running. Now my server doesn't have a ton of load on it, as it's used mainly for development / experimental purposes at the moment, so I can't say much about it's scalability or anything. But generally speaking, I installed it, did the initial setup, and other than adding/modifying users, I've rarely had to think about it since.

the only problem, as usual, is the network effect

I’ve been running Prosody [0] for many years now. Don’t ask me why I chose it over another server. I used to have a jabber.org account that I used before that, already back when I could use jabber to communicate with gchat and facebook messenger users. Alas, nowadays, it’s just my wife I use it to communicate with :(

[0]: https://prosody.im/

what about

- single point of failure of rooms (server creating the chat room)

- media access via 3rd party servers

- gossiping encrypted message access across multiple devices

- encrypted audio-visual (group) communication

- good clients for iOS

- reliable server-side storage of messages (of all(!) chats)

- realistic verification concept for e2ee with multiple devices

Maybe for friends and family? But then, if their phone might be compromised by the state...

And telling friends and family they need to setup a Jabber connection to talk you will make you "That guy/girl who...". And if the idea spreads, then talking to n people requires n accounts on n servers. At least Pidgin (last time I used it, which was last decade) supports such a configuration. I wonder if the mobile apps can do the same.