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Nine things I learned in ninety years

edwardpackard.com

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Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#91

Post by piva00 »

flanked-evergl wrote: post #82
darkwater wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> get married before you have children, then you are quite likely to have a good life. Based on what, exactly? I think you have cause and effect inverted.

Nope. Statistically, having children before you get married is much more likely to result in worse outcomes. Maybe cause and effect is inverted, but maybe the better option is to not run a social experiment in fatherless children as we have been doing for the past couple of decades with absolutely no research to suggest that it can result in positive outcomes and loads of data to show that it's almost definitely can'…

Those are just statistics describing what happens, not why it happens. Why does having children before getting married creates worse outcomes? Can individuals or society do something about the qualitative aspect of it?

Quantifying something doesn't explain it, it just... Quantifies it, deeper inspection is needed to understand what the statistics says.

You are prescribing what needs to be done based on something that is, ultimately, descriptive.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#92

Post by ErigmolCt »

a_c wrote: post #21

It is the simple things that is the hardest. If anything, having children revealed many of the mentioned. To me, having children is enlightenment

There's something about raising kids that strips away all the fluff and forces you to confront the core of who you are

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#93

Post by piva00 »

K0balt wrote: post #81

I am happy that in my 60 years of life to have achieved most of this, but would have been glad and better off having read it in my early 30s.

That's the curse of wisdom, in your 60s you can tell it's advice that you in your 30s should've taken but probably in your 30s you wouldn't have had the experiences that would make them be seen as good advice at the time.

Wisdom is frustrating since to be able to fully absorb it you need to have lived experiences that cements it, it can't be generally taught.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#94

Post by komali2 »

koakuma-chan wrote: post #37
zwnow wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I gave up on humans and this system. There are no good experiences to be made with others. Everything is a transaction nowadays and there is no altruism. Believe it or not, I am an altruist because I dont care anymore. I dont expect anything from anyone, I dont strive to be happy because its impossible to be happy with the current state of the world (at least im not ignorant enough to try and be happy). I am nice to…

I know right? I don't know what all other people replying to you are doing. I just play Cyberpunk, I finished it yesterday. I guess I'll play the new Dying Light next. Some people play golf. I don't know what other "happiness" there can be, though I am interested if anyone has anything to share that I don't know.

> I don't know what other "happiness" there can be

Doing the same thing but with other people is fairly universally baked into our psychology as a satisfying and good thing.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with leading a simple life focused on happiness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU0pZarehLY

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#96

Post by aaronax »

sarabande wrote: post #90

I enjoyed this piece, including references to the Stoics and Spinoza. It preaches serenity, goodwill, composure, etc. As someone in their 30s with children, work and a generally busy life, I wonder if anyone can recommend some pieces with more direct application - that is, in this vein, but perhaps an operational / how-to guide. Sometimes, it's hard to translate principles to action.

https://www.onedayyoullfindyourself.com/

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#97

Post by flanked-evergl »

piva00 wrote: post #91
flanked-evergl wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nope. Statistically, having children before you get married is much more likely to result in worse outcomes. Maybe cause and effect is inverted, but maybe the better option is to not run a social experiment in fatherless children as we have been doing for the past couple of decades with absolutely no research to suggest that it can result in positive outcomes and loads of data to show that it's almost definitely can'…

Those are just statistics describing what happens, not why it happens. Why does having children before getting married creates worse outcomes? Can individuals or society do something about the qualitative aspect of it? Quantifying something doesn't explain it, it just... Quantifies it, deeper inspection is needed to understand what the statistics says. You are prescribing what needs to be done based on something that…

Do we have any data whatsoever that would support the claim that whether you are married before having children has no impact on your life outcome or the life outcomes of your children?

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#98

Post by mi_lk »

K0balt wrote: post #78
shark1 wrote: post #59

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind." I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

I would argue that perhaps you have confused happiness with joy, or I have confused happiness with a lack of sadness, or perhaps with satisfaction. While I find that joy is a fickle and fleeting thing, I feel that I am happy most of the time, satisfied that things are as they must be, or at least close enough that the state of affairs does not poorly reflect on my efforts. Sadness or grief make their appearance, but…

You didn't explain how you define joy and happiness, can you elaborate how they are different

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#99

Post by Ruarl »

shark1 wrote: post #59

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind." I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

Happiness as the default state has nothing to do with being happy all the time. Perhaps you need to refine your understanding of “default”.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#100

Post by FacelessJim »

thehours wrote: post #64

I was hoping for more of the author’s own perspective over those ninety years. Instead, it read more like a stitching project of other people's ideas. In particular the barrage of quote fragments disrupted the flow and made it harder for me to engage with the main point of each section.

It is often the case, that one’s perspective is a personal synthesis of external ideas. The act of quoting great past authors is also a way of recognizing where your influences come from. To describe by association how you think, or aspire to.

These are very difficult topics to properly talk about and correctly express all the nuance in the feeling that you try to convey, and many authors are quoted because they nailed a particular description, evocative of the feeling an author is trying to express and that he feels he can’t do a better job at explaining.

Similarly to how you can narrate a story through a sequence of pictures you can narrate an idea through a sequence of raw concepts, encapsulated in quotes.

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