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How do you live your life?

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Re: How do you live your life?

#31

Post by bdunn »

I think most of us get to a point where we finally figure out we're mortal, and each day is one less we have to live.

As a parent with two small children, I'm constantly faced with two paths: I could work really hard, the result being eventually enough money that would bring me more "happiness" (travel the world with my wife and kids, for example); or I could extract every memory possible while my kids are this age.

When I think about being on my deathbed and looking back on my life, what will I be thinking? Will I have wished I worked longer hours? Or will I have wanted more memories of my kids laughing with me?

(This is largely why I'm building slow growth, sustainable lifestyle businesses over moving everyone to SF and working 100 hours a week at some startup.)

Re: How do you live your life?

#32

Post by pioul »

I'm not sure who said that, but I find it quite true:

>To make money we lose our health;

>And then to restore our health we lose our money...

>We live as if we are never going to die;

>And we die as if we never lived...

Try to take that into account when you're making decisions.

Re: How do you live your life?

#33

Post by bdunn »

hermannj314 wrote: post #18
the_cat_kittles wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure what your trying to get at, but for the sake of argument- wouldn't it be wise to move the goalposts if it means you aren't depressed?

I'm not talking about clinical depression. But let's say the general, "I didn't get the promotion" style of depression. For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company" or the move the goalposts approach, "I really didn't want that promotion anyway, I'll spend more time with my kids! No one will judge me as a failure if I do that." Shifting priorities can be rat…

Hang out around enough old people, and you'll realize the overwhelming majority of them would have preferred more time with their kids to that promotion.

Re: How do you live your life?

#34

Post by jquery »

eckyptang wrote: post #10
jquery wrote: post #6

Several years ago our household income was $xx. Along came some opportunities and now it's $xx+y. My wife and I live the same lifestyle and save the rest. Why? It's fun to see the doors that open as your savings grow. Even if you never open those doors, having access to the keys is its own reward. Someday we'll open one of those doors. The anticipation and journey will surely be as joyful as the reveal behind the doo…

I disagree. I've watched three members of my family save and save and ultimately die of cancer with a pile of cash which consumed their life obtaining. I'd rather live for the moment. Obtaining money takes far too much time when you could be having fun (fun rarely involves much expenditure).

You're right, fun is cheap. So why spend my fortune when I could retire early instead? To live each day like its your last is to fear living. I will live my life assuming I live to a ripe old age, and will never fear to live another day. The freedom this has brought me and the peace of mind is something no amount of hedonism could replace.

To assume a healthy savings means I must be a miser is unwarranted. Most who are thin are not anorexic.

Re: How do you live your life?

#35

Post by robryan »

bdunn wrote: post #33
hermannj314 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not talking about clinical depression. But let's say the general, "I didn't get the promotion" style of depression. For me, you can view that problem two ways, "I'm going to work harder and prove my value to the company" or the move the goalposts approach, "I really didn't want that promotion anyway, I'll spend more time with my kids! No one will judge me as a failure if I do that." Shifting priorities can be rat…

Hang out around enough old people, and you'll realize the overwhelming majority of them would have preferred more time with their kids to that promotion.

Retrospectively. For some what they would have liked to do more of looking back and what they wanted to do at the time may be different. As we live in the present, the question really is what we would like to be doing now, not what we would liked to have done looking back.

Re: How do you live your life?

#36

Post by bitdiffusion »

Here's a little confirmation bias at work... those with kids can't really undo that decision so spending time with the family is a knee-jerk "number one priority" (how many people would really come out and say they would prefer to work than see their kids? even if it's true, I doubt it would be socially acceptable).

Those who prefer the 100-hour weeks will no doubt say work is the number one priority. See "saving money for the future" vs. "spending money in case you die tomorrow" as other examples.

Re: How do you live your life?

#37

Post by eckyptang »

jquery wrote: post #34
eckyptang wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree. I've watched three members of my family save and save and ultimately die of cancer with a pile of cash which consumed their life obtaining. I'd rather live for the moment. Obtaining money takes far too much time when you could be having fun (fun rarely involves much expenditure).

You're right, fun is cheap. So why spend my fortune when I could retire early instead? To live each day like its your last is to fear living. I will live my life assuming I live to a ripe old age, and will never fear to live another day. The freedom this has brought me and the peace of mind is something no amount of hedonism could replace. To assume a healthy savings means I must be a miser is unwarranted. Most who a…

I will add to my point above that the people in question died in the range of 32-44 years old. What retirement?

Re: How do you live your life?

#38

Post by arh68 »

pioul wrote: post #32

I'm not sure who said that, but I find it quite true: > To make money we lose our health; > And then to restore our health we lose our money... > We live as if we are never going to die; > And we die as if we never lived... Try to take that into account when you're making decisions.

I also very much like this quote. This is Reata Strickland, as far as I can tell. I remember seeing it on /r/trees as a Dalai Lama quote, but wikiquote [1] says otherwise. Reata's website [2] seems to be the closest source.

[1] http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tenzin_Gyatso,_14th_Dalai_Lama#... [2] http://www.reata.org/interview2.html

Re: How do you live your life?

#39

Post by drblast »

Personally I've decided that life is absolutely meaningless, and I've found that to be incredibly liberating. It's helped me to not put so much pressure on myself to achieve (achieve what?) and live more in the present. It's a shame that people who don't find meaning in their life tend to take the opposite tack toward depression. Or others gravitate toward followership to anyone who will tell them how to live. If I could give advice, it would be to not do that. Half the fun is figuring out what's meaningful for you.

Otherwise, there are various clichés. People will say their family is most important and money is meaningless or some variation. I think those truisms are worth the amount of time it takes someone to repeat them, which isn't much at all.

And I love that scene in Fight Club where Brad Pitt is telling Ed Norton that he won't be truly enlightened until he knows, not just thinks, that he is going to die. I wouldn't risk your life or hurt yourself to figure this out, but if you're in your 20's and haven't had any near-death experiences, as you get older, you will DEFINITELY realize that your life is finite and it will change your perspective. There will be a thousand things that in the back of your mind you always have thought you'd have time to do, but then you turn 30 and start to realize that you probably won't. And that you need to start economizing and prioritizing.

Re: How do you live your life?

#40

Post by karterk »

drblast wrote: post #39

Personally I've decided that life is absolutely meaningless, and I've found that to be incredibly liberating. It's helped me to not put so much pressure on myself to achieve (achieve what?) and live more in the present. It's a shame that people who don't find meaning in their life tend to take the opposite tack toward depression. Or others gravitate toward followership to anyone who will tell them how to live. If I c…

Exactly. Sometimes, it pays to be detached. You can be passionate about something, but still be somewhat detached from it. The minute you let something/someone determine and define your life, you lose sight of the larger picture. And, the reality is that nothing lasts ever. Time and again, I have seen people surprise me - in both good and disappointing ways.

It's very difficult to find contentment in oneself - most people will call it a cynical and pathetic look at life. However, that's what life is. At the risk of sounding cliched - it's YOUR journey on the train. Everyone departs along the way. Some you will get to know more than others, but at the end of the day being aware that it's your journey and yours alone helps you not get attached to other things that might eventually end-up crumbling your world.

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