When the job search becomes impossible • Hacker News Board

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#21

Post by cindyllm » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:36 PM UTC

r_lee wrote: post #15

creata wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Life used to be even worse than this, though. I know it's going to be deeply unpopular -- it always is -- but I never understood how reasonable people don't find bringing children into this world to be an act of abject cruelty.

I mean, if it's so cruel, then why wouldn't you just commit suicide? The reason why it's not cruel (IMO) is that there's hope for a better future, if you don't have kids, you will never be able to know. That's choosing to just not play the game, total darkness. There isn't an alternative universe to choose from.

[dead]

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#22

Post by mschild » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:36 PM UTC

pizzathyme wrote: post #13

> "You’ve spent several months sending out scores of carefully tailored resumes and cover letters for jobs you know you are fully qualified for and would excel at." People should not do this. It is causing so much suffering. In my 6 jobs in my career from college internship to startups to Big Tech, I have never gotten a job from sending an application into a site. It's always been through (somehow) tracking down a pe…

This might work if you already have a network, but otherwise good luck getting through to people on the phone. HR will answer the generic questions, but tell you to apply online. Cold "calling" people on LinkedIn is a shot in the dark. Some people don't mind you doing it, most will ignore you.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#23

Post by marginalia_nu » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:38 PM UTC

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #6

This essay just makes me feel so hopeless about our society. I don’t feel it’s right that employment has such weight in people’s lives that the search causes psychological damage.

I think a lot of people simply don't know what to do with themselves when they don't have a job.

There are many psychological needs that jobs often provide for you that you have to sort out yourself when you don't have traditional employement. This is a problem you face through unemployement, but also self-employment and early retirement.

At least in part, it's not so much not having a job as not having daily structure, not having a social context, and lacking a sense of belonging. Lacking these factors will absolutely ruin your mental well-being.

These aren't things that are impossible to find when unemployed (or otherwise not working), but if you've spent most of your life being told what to do, first in school and then at work, you've got some figuring out to do.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#24

Post by insane_dreamer » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:39 PM UTC

pizzathyme wrote: post #13

> "You’ve spent several months sending out scores of carefully tailored resumes and cover letters for jobs you know you are fully qualified for and would excel at." People should not do this. It is causing so much suffering. In my 6 jobs in my career from college internship to startups to Big Tech, I have never gotten a job from sending an application into a site. It's always been through (somehow) tracking down a pe…

> A form is not going to a hire you, a person is.

This is becoming less and less true.

> You need to ignore the form and talk to a person.

Unless you're lucky, this is no longer going to happen. Getting a job is now becoming much more about luck, circumstances, and who you already know, much like getting your first starring role in a movie -- not about your abilities.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#25

Post by the_real_cher » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:39 PM UTC

kfk wrote: post #17

I met many programmers during the boom years of software that straight out refused to develop any type of soft or managerial skills. Forget that, they even refused to maintain good relationships with decision makers (and I did this too, but only once in my carrier), left jobs in bad ways, focused on chasing salary increases every 6 months. And here is the problem. If you have been chasing "easy" salary increases, wor…

> It's very, very, very hard to maintain sharp coding skills decade after decade.

This is straight up agism and should be banned. It's like saying black people can't code as well as white people.

Carmack and Torvalds would disagree with you.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#26

Post by mschild » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:39 PM UTC

creata wrote: post #18

r_lee wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, if it's so cruel, then why wouldn't you just commit suicide? The reason why it's not cruel (IMO) is that there's hope for a better future, if you don't have kids, you will never be able to know. That's choosing to just not play the game, total darkness. There isn't an alternative universe to choose from.

> then why wouldn't you just commit suicide? I'm trying not to upset the people around me.

Please, and I say this with love, seek psychological help. If that's the only thing from stopping you, you need to talk to someone.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#27

Post by MontyCarloHall » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:40 PM UTC

pizzathyme wrote: post #13

> "You’ve spent several months sending out scores of carefully tailored resumes and cover letters for jobs you know you are fully qualified for and would excel at." People should not do this. It is causing so much suffering. In my 6 jobs in my career from college internship to startups to Big Tech, I have never gotten a job from sending an application into a site. It's always been through (somehow) tracking down a pe…

As other posters have said, this only really works if you have a network. Zeroth-order referrals (i.e. they call you) work best, first-order referrals (i.e. you know someone at the company) work decently well, and second-order referrals (you know someone who knows someone to refer you) are a guided shot in the dark.

People who have networks all know this. The issue is that a shocking number of people don't have any network at all. These tend to be the sorts of people who are either actively antisocial at work (the "coworkers aren't your friends" type) or job hop so frequently that they don't spend enough time at any single job to develop any meaningful professional, let alone personal connections.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#28

Post by the_real_cher » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:40 PM UTC

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #6

This essay just makes me feel so hopeless about our society. I don’t feel it’s right that employment has such weight in people’s lives that the search causes psychological damage.

It's less the employment and more the eating and shelter that the employment provides.

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#29

Post by seiferteric » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:41 PM UTC

pizzathyme wrote: post #13

> "You’ve spent several months sending out scores of carefully tailored resumes and cover letters for jobs you know you are fully qualified for and would excel at." People should not do this. It is causing so much suffering. In my 6 jobs in my career from college internship to startups to Big Tech, I have never gotten a job from sending an application into a site. It's always been through (somehow) tracking down a pe…

I know this is just anecdotal but just want to say I got my current job just applying to a job from a linkedin email. I admit I was surprised how easily and smoothly it all went actually...

Re: When the job search becomes impossible

#30

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Sep 16, 2025, 2:41 PM UTC

the_real_cher wrote: post #25

kfk wrote: post #17

I met many programmers during the boom years of software that straight out refused to develop any type of soft or managerial skills. Forget that, they even refused to maintain good relationships with decision makers (and I did this too, but only once in my carrier), left jobs in bad ways, focused on chasing salary increases every 6 months. And here is the problem. If you have been chasing "easy" salary increases, wor…

> It's very, very, very hard to maintain sharp coding skills decade after decade. This is straight up agism and should be banned. It's like saying black people can't code as well as white people. Carmack and Torvalds would disagree with you.

[deleted]