Collaborative projects don't work on pure engineering. There are significant resource management components that basically amount to therapy, psychiatry, and side show entertainment because the most critical resources are human minds.
Excellent engineering management largely isolates engineers from having to deal with this non-engineering stuff (except for the subset that is specifically for their own personal benefit)-- but open source tends to radically flatten organizations that produce software, such that every contributor must also be their own manager to a great degree.
In a well run project you don't necessarily have to be good at or even interested in all the more socially oriented components of the project organization. But if you're not you must be willing to let someone else handle that stuff and go along with their judgements even if they seem suboptimal from the narrower perspective you've adopted. If you can't then from a "collaborative development as a system" view you're a faulty component that doesn't provide the right interface for the system's requirements (and are gonna get removed!). :)
Another way to look at it is that it would be ideal if every technical element were optimal at all times. In small systems with well understood requirements this can be possible or at least close to possible. But in big complex and poorly scoped systems it's just not possible: We have imperfect information, there are conflicting requirements, we have finite time, and so on. The system as a whole will always be far from perfect. If anyone tried to make it all perfect it would just fail to make progress, deadlock, or otherwise. The management of the project is always trying to balance the imperfections. They know that their decisions are often making things worse for a local concern, but they do so with belief that over time the decisions result in a better system overall. Linux has a good reputation in large part due to a long history of making good decisions about the flaws to accept or even introduce, which issues to gloss over vs debate to death.