The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
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Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#2To quote a relative of mine, when asked if he and his wife were going to have a third child: “No, no. We found out what causes that. We don’t do that anymore.”
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#3To quote a relative of mine, when asked if he and his wife were going to have a third child: “No, no. We found out what causes that. We don’t do that anymore.”
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Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#4Humans generally don't interact in person as much with other humans anymore and technology is I think one of the big drivers of this change.
From the article:
"When it comes to sexlessness (“no sex in the last year”) among young adults, the biggest change comes post-2010."
"Between 2010 and 2019, the average time young adults spent with friends in a given week fell by nearly 50%, from 12.8 hours to just 6.5 hours."
No doubt there are other factors too, and all of the factors are entangled together as in any complex system, but I think internet and smartphones is one of the biggest aspects to point to.
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#5The article mostly blames pornography and digital addiction, but I think those are symptoms of a larger problem, which is lack of belonging and community. If life sucks, you have few friends you can afford the time or money to see, and you work to make other people rich until you are exhausted, when do you have time and energy to maintain a relationship? If you feel like the world is on fire, it's hard to get in the mood.
It would help if we built third spaces that weren't centered around alcohol, which is also declining in popularity, especially with young adults.
Americans: why isn't anyone having sex anymore??
Also Americans: Abstinence only! You'll get pregnant! No abortions! STDs will kill you! Men deserve sex! We're not going to teach you how your body works!
Of course we end up with declining sex, in a country so obsessed with individualism and sex-adverse.
I do see hope though. The kids in my community are being taught age-appropriate, consent-based sex ed, and the availability of free, high-quality sex ed is improving.
I would be really interested to see if sex frequency is declining for everyone, or just for people who aren't putting in any emotional labor to learning and growing as a person when it comes to sexuality.
Just some off-the-cuff thoughts :)
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#6Humans generally don't interact in person as much with other humans anymore and technology is I think one of the big drivers of this change. From the article: "When it comes to sexlessness (“no sex in the last year”) among young adults, the biggest change comes post-2010." "Between 2010 and 2019, the average time young adults spent with friends in a given week fell by nearly 50%, from 12.8 hours to just 6.5 hours." N…
They should call it "the social recession".
Just in the past couple of weeks we've met some neighbors with toddlers that enjoy our toddler. It's been SUPER nice being able to hanf out with the adults while the kids entertain each other.
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#7You gotta love a society which persistently makes the world a worse and worse place and then complains when people don't want to have sex or have kids.
I'm not one of those weirdos who can't see that materially in some superficial ways, our lives are better than ever: medicine, toys, entertainment, and a lot of other stuff, better than ever. Not only that, I can even acknowledge that capitalism is what has provided this bounty to us.
But what it also does is underline all the time that you, personally are not "adequate" unless you want to be the kind of person who hustles all the time, who is seeking an angle or an alpha, who wants to be an entrepreneur of some kind. I think this just doesn't appeal to most people the message society is sending loud and clear is that if you just want to have a nice life and you don't want to constantly figure out new ways to improve your capital, you'll get left behind. I think for many people this doesn't seem like a cool world to have a baby in.
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#8This is all because of technology. Pre internet you could not just isolate yourself and medicate with content since there was only the television. In person communities formed organically as an effect. Those communities have now been eroded by technology. And no, technology cannot help make in person community, it's something organic that needs to happen with people.
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#9Is this really all that surprising? We have a ton of things ongoing now that we either know or suspect are big contributors to this:
- the whole male loneliness epidemic
- a longstanding loss of community and social organizations around the country
- a pretty terrible job market for many Americans
- plenty of things to be stressed or worried about. Geopolitical instability. Erosion of individual rights. The complete failure of political leadership across the US. Rising cancer rates. Take your pick.
Re: The share of Americans having regular sex keeps dropping
#10I do think the alcohol-fueled hookup culture that persisted in the US from the '70s to the '00s will be seen as a historical anomaly in the long run. The idea of empowerment has given way to the understanding that women have almost nothing to gain from the arrangement, and have bore the brunt of most of its' downsides.