oh, really ? you was think you're smarter every people if him not be engineer? or women?
Many people are smarter you or me and it not surprise and it normally, dont worry, enjoy...
Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
11–20 of 45 posts
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#12How are you even measuring "smarts?" This seems like more of a personal problem in terms of your perception than a real problem that needs "solving."
As long as the two of you are roughly on the same "level" in that you can have a decent two-way discussion about things you are both interested in; I cannot see how this would ever be an issue.
Also, your self-esteem takes a knock every time you meet someone you deem "smarter?" If that's true then you will struggle to ever reach your potential as you will likely either run-away or get depressed whenever you near your limits.
So I guess what I am saying is: This is an entirely a personal problem. You have created this problem in your head and that is the only place it can be solved. If meeting smarter people, including dating them, really impacts you this badly then you seriously need to work on that (maybe grab a self-help book or go talk to a professional).
I think this problem is far bigger than this one instance or dating...
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#13The frankness of the question caught me by surprise. I don't think I can help you though as I'm not one of those poeple you mention. There's tons of better programmers around the office and most of them are my friends so I'm quite at home with not being the smartest person on the planet. There's more to life than solving problems, as long as you enjoy your time together who cares. It bothers me though when people try…
> It bothers me though when people try to invent different types of intellect as some sort of consolation prize. Accept that people are different, life's too short to be comparing penis sizes all your life.
Doesn't your first sentence contradict your second one? Or at least the spirit of the two seems contradictory.
The multiple intelligence theory is fairly popular and to be fair it is fairly decent too. As you yourself said people are different and they have different skills.
Intelligence or "smarts" are just vague terms without concrete meanings. It is only in recent times that we decided to measure them using either general knowledge ("gameshow trivia") or mathematical skill.
But for most of human history I bet the most celebrated person in the village would be measured using other yard sticks (e.g. hunting, fighting, running speed, maybe even engineering/inventing) none of which we value at all today.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#14I'd say my partner is smarter than I am (in many ways anyway). She's managed to put up with me for... gosh... nearly eighteen years now. So I'd count that as a win :-)
Personally I love being around people who are smarter than I am in one area or another. You never make progress in life if you don't challenge yourself. K challenges me all the time. It's a good thing.
Why would it be a problem?
(In fact have some general advice - not relationship advice. If you are "used to be the smartest guys around" - then change your location. You are statistically unlikely to be the smartest person on the planet. If you're not hanging around with people you find as smart or smarter on one dimension or another then that may have more to do with where you feel comfortable. You don't get better by staying somewhere where you're already on top.)
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#15She is your girlfriend? Or you just started dating her? Which is it? ;) For all your dating questions, go search for "Doc Love" at Ask Men. He writes articles there and they are gold for dating advice. This man is a wizard. Don't take advice from anyone else. Thank me later. Appearances are everything. Don't worry about being smart, rather, shoot for appearing smart. One of the most powerful ways to appear smart is t…
You cannot be serious about the "Doc Love" dude on Ask Men? That guy just repeats generic platitudes and repeats nonsense from various dating books. I'm fairly sure he is who the "Barney" character on How I Met Your Mother is based.
Reading that site was fun when I was a young guy but as you grow older it becomes very apparent that it is just the blind leading the blind. The entire site is just a giant advertising board pretending to be a magazine.
Purely in terms of dating advice I actually find female commentators better simply because their readership expects more.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#16My ex was much smarter than me. Top of her computer science class as a woman was no mean feat with one of the highest overall grades in the department's history. Jumped straight from B.Sc to Ph.D, skipping the usual masters expectation/requirement (UK). She has a couple of papers published concerning language processing.
We got on well and she helped me through a dreary computer science bachelors course, for which I am very grateful. We went our separate ways afterwards for a variety of reasons (all non-related to the fact that she was smarter than I was).
Though incredibly smart, she had her own failings. We all have.
If you have a self-esteem problem with your girlfriend being smarter than you, then that is your problem. Self-esteem: the key is in the word 'self'. Put another way, if you were smarter than her, do you think that would be a problem for her?
Look to find areas where you can complement your girlfriend. You'll soon realize you have talents where she doesn't and vice versa. Embrace them and her!
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#17Hello Ronald Weasley! Fancy meeting you here!
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#18She isn't that smart if she is dating a jerk with self-esteem issues!
You still reading? Great! Some of the greatest scientists in their mature years acknowledged that there was far more which they didn't know than what they did. Being smart is more about learning and growing as a human being. Not just winning some variant of Trivial Pursuit.
Maybe this could become a stretch goal for both of you. Best wishes for a terrific shared adventure.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#19I am jealous as hell. :)
To answer your question, the most useful two pieces of advice I've received are:
(1) Your attention is enough. Just be interested in her, pay attention to her, enjoy the experience.
(2) Don't be afraid of rejection. Will she dump you? Sure, it's possible. I've been dumped before. But if so it likely won't be because you made a mistake. Don't try to predict what will happen, just go for it. If things grow, great, if they don't, you'll still be glad you had the experience.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#20I believe I read an article in a newspaper once where they tracked married couples with differing IQs over time.
Where the male was the smarter partner, the woman's IQ increased.
Where the female was the smarter partner, the woman's IQ decreased.
I guess the consolation from this is it may become a less acute problem over time :-)