The Enterprise Experience

> Then I heard word there are other empires. Some were run by tyrannical rulers with strange idiosyncrasies. I began to hear strange whispers, like the next empire over doesn't write any tests, and their only quality assurance process was an entire off-shore team manually clicking through the application. Or that an empire in a distant land has pyramids of software that touch the sky, crafted by thousands of people over decades.

Other empires besides the British (with plantations of manual QA) and the Egyptians (pyramids): the Mongols (ride in out of nowhere to bombard you with requirements and have ridden away before you figured out whether you actually need to deal with them or not), the Spanish (who insist that El Dorado isn't a fictious utopia of a project with full test coverage, full CI/CD, perfect monitoring, but will add every linter and bit of friction they can find to try to get there), the Japanese (who go to floors and campuses across the oceans to commit career suicide by yelling at random stakeholders that they have displeased The Emperor), the Chinese (their floors are always quiet, good luck finding your way through the Forbidden City of Zoom meetings without a map)...

Re: The Enterprise Experience

#6

Post by almostgotcaught » Sun, Aug 17, 2025, 6:34 PM UTC

I think people have these kinds of thoughts (and then commit them to paper) because they're utterly flabbergasted that such things can exist - as if there's some kind of massive conspiracy by Big Enterprise that enables this even though both $ENTERPRISE and SMEs play in the exact same market (by definition).

Newsflash: yes small organizations are better solving small problems (like "small tool has broken feature X"). Everyone knows that and feels it "on their skin". But they cannot solve large/enormous problems. It's just physics: big problems -> big requirements. Think stuff along the lines of "getting to the moon" or "building the Chunnel". Myopic individuals, who are bound to only see and understand work within their own vicinity, necessarily will bemoan the existence of large organizations. This is why reading history is valuable - because it is indeed myopic.

Re: The Enterprise Experience

#7

Post by Spooky23 » Sun, Aug 17, 2025, 7:11 PM UTC

Bigger enterprises only care about consistency in delivering what they want to deliver. The actual goals may be set by chasing a number, regulatory process, executive fiat or a million other things.

Rationality as we humans see it doesn’t apply.

Re: The Enterprise Experience

#8

Post by i_love_retros » Sun, Aug 17, 2025, 7:47 PM UTC

Also if your preferred method of non urgent communication is message based such as slack, good luck in an enterprise.

Sure you'll get messages, but every one will be "quick call?"

Re: The Enterprise Experience

#9

Post by gherkinnn » Sun, Aug 17, 2025, 7:57 PM UTC

I can't handle such organisations. I simply cannot. I don't care if they pay 3x, they break me within a few months.

Re: The Enterprise Experience

#10

Post by keyshapegeo99 » Sun, Aug 17, 2025, 7:59 PM UTC

This almost entirely applies to any public sector organisation, too - except for:

Remove the comment about ever having to work a weekend

Remove the comment about there being opportunities for (technical) career development

Remove the comment about upskilling / training being encouraged