While there is value in a product like this, the creator did little to nothing to explain his credibility or earn my trust.
Some TEDx talks to degrees from unnamed programs.
Basic Social Skills Guide
181–190 of 283 posts
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#182Earlier quoted context omitted.
In my country (western Europe) talking about hunting/fishing would put get you side looks and take you for a very rural or conservative weirdo. Sports and cars is more common with the older generation, but anyone below 35 will probably be uninterested, unless your circle is finance or blue collar work.
What do people talk about in your country?
I guess the general stuff is movies, Netflix shows, music, your last short weekend trip, and pretty much everyone has their own personal non work thing, usually attached to a club or group (hiking, photography, whatever).
I guess in that last category sports are commonplace, but it’s more “I’m training for a marathon next month” or “you should come bouldering sometime” rather than following professional sports on tv.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#183Earlier quoted context omitted.
I had my fair share of hard messy human things and I distance from that. Self preservation is more important than some official gathering.
It’s not self preservation, it’s avoidance and selfishness.
Avoidance can be self preservation. My friends are fine with me not attending, why aren't you? Because I dont wanna join some human made sadness gatherings with some religious idiot talking about how my atheist friend is with God now?
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#184Earlier quoted context omitted.
As far as I am concerned I dont exist for the families of my friends. I exist for my friends. Never cared about their families and they never cared about mine, its just how we move.
I’m in my mid-40s. When I randomly reconnect with friends from my 20s, they still ask about my parents and my parents still occasionally ask about them.
Yea so everyone should do that? Or are other platonic relationships allowed?
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#185On the topic of "support your friends", if there's a funeral for someone you weren't super close with but your friend knew well and you're not sure whether to go, I would recommend just going, sitting up the back, offering your condolences if the opportunity comes up, and leaving. I've failed to do this twice. Nobody else said or did anything, but I regretted it.
It's also ok not to attend funerals at all, even if you were close. I broke down every funeral I went to and would rather avoid that in the future.
While it's OK if this truly is what you need, be mindful that you're not making a decision you'll come to regret. There is no shame in crying at a funeral. Helping each other through death is one of life's innate obligations. One of the few things we have no choice but to do as humans is die.
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#186Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#187Previous discussion:
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21585235 - 2019 (419 comments)
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#188Mask every day. Life goal: Be 100% artificial person. All openings and responses must be calculated and faked. Your inner self is faulty and not appropriate at any situation. Once you train and work hard enough to suppress it at all times forever, you may be accepted and allowed to participate.
The problem is, that's the best strategy to gather resources and reproduce, aka "win at life".
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is the worst advice someone could give. It absolutely is ok to decide on your own if it's good for you and the others if you attend or not. I wouldn't want anyone to come to my funeral just because others expect him to.
If I was close to someone and they skipped my funeral for no other reason than their own mild discomfort I would seriously question how close we were after all.
> ...they skipped my funeral ... I would seriously question ...
This isn't how death works
Re: Basic Social Skills Guide
#190Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s not self preservation, it’s avoidance and selfishness.
Avoidance can be self preservation. My friends are fine with me not attending, why aren't you? Because I dont wanna join some human made sadness gatherings with some religious idiot talking about how my atheist friend is with God now?
This conversation started as general advice, and as such, avoidance of human connection around death is poor advice. You sound like you have good reason for your avoidance, but you shouldn't extrapolate that it's a good general strategy.