Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Basic Social Skills Guide

improveyoursocialskills.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

131–140 of 283 posts

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#131

Post by maleldil »

humanono wrote: post #97
ernst_klim wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then I don't understand what you are arguing about. If you're neurodivergent, you would always require self awareness and masking, faked as op rightfully stated. You could never natural, no matter what circumstances were.

I changed very slowly and steady over the last 20 years. This has very little to do with masking.

Changing is possible even if you're neurodivergent, but you'll always have some barriers that neurotypicals don't. To interact with them, you will generally need some degree of masking.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#132

Post by rtuulik »

ffin wrote: post #115
arethuza wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Going/been anywhere nice recently" is a pretty good one in the UK - most people have some kind of holiday and I don't follow football and my interest in cars is probably limited to my occasional bouts of incandescent rage at people not signalling correctly on roundabouts...

In the US I was taught you don’t need to signal at roundabouts. Am I doing something terribly wrong?

Roundabouts are a one way road, you don´t need to signal when driving on it. But you do need to indicate when you are leaving the roundabout.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#133

Post by sokoloff »

ryandv wrote: post #126
sokoloff wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you found a generally equal level of interest in hunting, fishing, sports, and cars across the genders? That’s not been my experience and, as a basic social skill, I seek to adapt my conversational topics to the audience’s interest.

[flagged]

Gender equality does not imply nor require gender indistinguishability.

Rejecting the latter does not imply rejecting the former, but of course you know that and are just being a gender-neutral cylindrical appendage.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#134

Post by solardev »

ffin wrote: post #115
arethuza wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Going/been anywhere nice recently" is a pretty good one in the UK - most people have some kind of holiday and I don't follow football and my interest in cars is probably limited to my occasional bouts of incandescent rage at people not signalling correctly on roundabouts...

In the US I was taught you don’t need to signal at roundabouts. Am I doing something terribly wrong?

Might be a regionalism, but here in Oregon, we don't signal going in, but signal right before we intend to exit. That way the next incoming driver can enter the roundabout and keep traffic flowing. We have a LOT of roundabouts though, like dozens upon dozens, and many of them are over saturated. It may be a local response to the traffic patterns here, not sure.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#136

Post by solardev »

_9ptr wrote: post #94
sundarurfriend wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. Have you generally been to the Americas and Western Europe? Sports is the one universal, that makes sense in my experience too. But most people outside the rich upper class don't…

What do Asians talk about then?

In the US, I've never met one who doesn't enjoy talking about food, especially boba and banh mi.

Beyond that, it just depends on the person...

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#137

Post by suninject »

TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

No you are wrong, usually it's conlang, microtonal music, and functional programming ;).

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#138

Post by harimau777 »

SunlightEdge wrote: post #80
matwood wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's also the classic 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. Many later books are rehashing of parts of HTWFAIP.

Agreed that is a classic - I think the essentials are true but the language is a bit dated. Definitely "trying to think positively about people and their actions/understand them", and giving people "a sense of importance" are very helpful social skills.

I definitely second that its a great book, especially if you focus more on the principles it's getting at instead of necessarily the examples.

Funny experience with that:

A big part of How to Win Friends and Influence People that I took to heart was "be interested in other people". Flash forward a few years and I'm in a bar with a group of people I had recently met when one of them says to me "Hey, we've been talking a lot about ourselves but not really that much about you." One of the other people interrupted "That's because they are polite! They are showing interest in what we're interested in instead of insisting on talking about themselves."

So at least some people do notice when you put in an effort to use good social skills!

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#139

Post by wizzwizz4 »

ffin wrote: post #115
arethuza wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Going/been anywhere nice recently" is a pretty good one in the UK - most people have some kind of holiday and I don't follow football and my interest in cars is probably limited to my occasional bouts of incandescent rage at people not signalling correctly on roundabouts...

In the US I was taught you don’t need to signal at roundabouts. Am I doing something terribly wrong?

The most important thing is for everyone to speak the same protocol, provided that the protocol meets some minimum standard of fitness-for-purpose. But… yeah, I think you're doing it wrong.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#140

Post by guerrilla »

foxglacier wrote: post #53
guerrilla wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this AI spam or psychosis? I don't understand.

3rd option is you just don't understand. This is language people use to describe narcissists. Flying monkeys are people who help them manipulate others and vampires are "emotional vampires". Poster was saying a narcissist had died, leaving their support people leaderless.

It's an extremely uncalibrated reply given the context regardless, even more so expecting the general audience here to understand this weirdly specific language. Something is definitely off.
Post reply on HN