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Basic Social Skills Guide

improveyoursocialskills.com

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Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#121

Post by influx »

torben-friis wrote: post #111
TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

In my country (western Europe) talking about hunting/fishing would put get you side looks and take you for a very rural or conservative weirdo. Sports and cars is more common with the older generation, but anyone below 35 will probably be uninterested, unless your circle is finance or blue collar work.

What do people talk about in your country?

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#123

Post by brulard »

ryandv wrote: post #116
spacechild1 wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which countries have you been to? Sports I'll give you. Cars are already questionable. But fishing and hunting!? Now I'm interested: what are your top three topics for talking to women? :)

[flagged]

Your comment is the only one hateful here. Where I'm from there are absolutely different topics to talk to men and women. You may hate it as much as you like, but that's the world many of us live in.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#124

Post by solardev »

jeltz wrote: post #105
cpursley wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, I noticed this too about sportball people - they’re generally out of shape and not actually athletic (I’m fit and active in several outdoor sports). I just find watching or talking about sports excruciatingly boring. To me it’s the same thing as pornography, watching other people who are really good at it while you are a bystander, but your brain gets the physiological and-psychological signal that you’re actua…

I don't have the same experience at all. The people who I know and have met which enjoy watching sports come at all levels of fitness. I am not that interested myself but quite many of the members of my running club enjoy watching sports and some of them can run 3 hour marathons. And if you have ever met football ultras most of them are very fit.

What are football ultras?

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#125

Post by jvanderbot »

sundarurfriend wrote: post #55
TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

> I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. Have you generally been to the Americas and Western Europe? Sports is the one universal, that makes sense in my experience too. But most people outside the rich upper class don't…

I think most people here are mistaking cars as a subject for things like hotrods or racing or classic cars.

But you really can kick off a decent conversation by just commenting and asking about what they drive, usually by starting with "I see a lot of people prefer X here". And you end up learning a decent amount about them.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#126

Post by ryandv »

sokoloff wrote: post #120
ryandv wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Have you found a generally equal level of interest in hunting, fishing, sports, and cars across the genders? That’s not been my experience and, as a basic social skill, I seek to adapt my conversational topics to the audience’s interest.

[flagged]

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#127

Post by BaseBaal »

weinzierl wrote: post #43
TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

If only someone could create an app or website to help us uninformed out with common phrases to use. Sentences like: "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

The problem with this is when the convo goes beyond the initial common phrase. The response is likely to go more in depth. Then you're stuck nodding awkwardly, laughing awkwardly or just fudging it further... Awkwardly. Personally if it's a sport I'm not into I'll just admit that and explain why. The conversation will usually naturally move on and you won't seem phony.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#128

Post by jascha_eng »

influx wrote: post #121
torben-friis wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my country (western Europe) talking about hunting/fishing would put get you side looks and take you for a very rural or conservative weirdo. Sports and cars is more common with the older generation, but anyone below 35 will probably be uninterested, unless your circle is finance or blue collar work.

What do people talk about in your country?

politics, music, food (Berlin here)

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#129

Post by jononor »

Fraterkes wrote: post #66

This is a bit of a long shot, but a lot my social embarrassment comes from my tendency to mumble / be hard to understand. Anyone on here have any experience with improving at that stuff?

On the practical side there are many good options. Using the voice effectively is a key skill in many professions, such as singing, public speaking, education, religious, management. So there are many practitioners, and lots of learning materials out there. So I recommend to check of there are any of those angles that resonate more with you. But very important - this is a challenge that needs practice to overcome - it cannot be dealt with only theoretically! So as a simple starting point is: go on YouTube and search for vocal exercises. Start with something like warmup routines. And then try something like saying the same sentence at 7 different loudness levels, from a whisper into someones ear to a SHOUT that needs to go to another person at the other side of a lake. Observe just how much power you got! This will be awkward and that is good - it means that you are stretching yourself, both physically and mentally! Like at the gym.

Then out a few sentences in the level you feel most comfortable with, plus 1 or 2 steps above. Try whole paragraphs.

PS: drink water and do not push harder if you feel pain.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#130

Post by monooso »

TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

If that's true then The Onion's "The Sports Team From My Area..." T-shirt[1] is a guaranteed (conversation|fight) starter.

[1] https://store.theonion.com/collections/best-selling-products...

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