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Basic Social Skills Guide

improveyoursocialskills.com

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Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#41

Post by RataNova »

TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

Yeah, it's kind of the social equivalent of knowing a few phrases in another language

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#43

Post by weinzierl »

TrackerFF wrote: post #20

I've found that no mater what country I've been to, or what social classes the people belong to, three topics have a 95% success rate when it comes to social relations with guys: sports, cars, fishing/hunting. And to some degree handywork. It is a bit unfortunate, as I'm not at all interested in talking about those things - but they are such staple topics, that you can come off as a sort of outcast if you can't keep…

If only someone could create an app or website to help us uninformed out with common phrases to use. Sentences like:

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#44

Post by rsaarelm »

humanono wrote: post #35
rsaarelm wrote: post #31

Mask every day. Life goal: Be 100% artificial person. All openings and responses must be calculated and faked. Your inner self is faulty and not appropriate at any situation. Once you train and work hard enough to suppress it at all times forever, you may be accepted and allowed to participate.

You are what you are because of circumstances. Which is fun and great if you came out as a happy cool human. If you made it through the weird unadjusted side without any gimmick you just loose. No one has to force you to stay what your surroundings made you. It's not your personality it's just a reflection and you can change it and make it better for you by adjusting and reflecting.

Sometimes people already are like something and don't want to change it or feel like they could change it, but also don't get along being like they are. This is more awkward to think about than just treating them as damaged or incomplete people who would get around to becoming people who can fit in fine once the damage is fixed or the incomplete development is completed, because it's harder to see good solutions.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#45

Post by rickandmorty99 »

RataNova wrote: post #33

A lot of "social skills" content drifts into pickup-artist-y territory, so it's refreshing when something frames it around comfort, support, and actual connection instead of just "winning" interactions

> instead of just "winning" interactions

Mainstream pickup artists yea. Some niche ones, not really. Wayne Elise feels like a good example, from back in the day.

On a throwaway because the judgmental people will judge me for the rest of my life due to me nuancing that not all people associated to pickup artists looked at social interactions in a zero sum way.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#48

Post by [deleted] »

strken wrote: post #32
bravetraveler wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ditto. The contributions are saying 'hello' and soliciting input, in one. Also providing the contributor with an opportunity to learn the product in their terms . I know, I know. The horror of an individual for us all. I assume the proposition is this: one has no chance to produce value without firm guidance from the onset. Or the time learning is a tragedy. I doubt both of these very much. PRs are another conversati…

I assume the proposition is that trust between coworkers is important (even if you're autistic) and the best way to build extra trust with someone, on top of what you'd normally build just working with them, is to interact with them socially (unless they're autistic and haven't memorised this pattern, in such case they'll just be confused and annoyed). I think your assumption that this is about "firm guidance" and "o…

[deleted]

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#49

Post by chaosite »

d332 wrote: post #23
zwnow wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also ok not to attend funerals at all, even if you were close. I broke down every funeral I went to and would rather avoid that in the future.

[flagged]

I read that as the author, going to the funeral, broke down. That is they felt devastated emotionally, internally and possibly externally as in "broke down crying".

The funeral itself probably continued without any issues. I guess that's another social skills lesson, the world carries on regardless of your emotions.

Re: Basic Social Skills Guide

#50

Post by magicalhippo »

Blackarea wrote: post #7

I wonder why this was written as these very small paragraphs with only a few lines of content? Apart from the hosting issues due to hackernews it leads to a lot of intros and 'in the next section we will learn...' but the actually useful content is quite little and you have to dig hard for it. I'd personally favor a normal article.

Maybe I'm weird, but I find the writing style almost condescending.

It's a style I've seen elsewhere as well so not particular to this site, but I find it grating and off-putting. Feels like it treats me like a 4 year old.

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