So you're a manager now • Hacker News Board

Re: So you're a manager now

#41

Post by skeeter2020 » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:01 PM UTC

m8rl wrote: post #26

There are different type of leads, not only people managers. There are architects, chief-of-somethings, designers, people who give all their imagination, creativity and experience into leading teams and companies to achieve great things. Clearly that's empowering, and empowering is crucial: Preparing the ground and conditions for people to do their job as good as possible. But it's a lot more, and it's fun and you ge…

this is a good point. I've been a people manager for about 7 years and I try to help these people understand that they are leaders. I actually think it's a much ahrder form of leadership because they don't have the hierarchy crutch like me; their legitimacy has to be earned. Recognizing the diversity of leadership also helps break the "to go up you need to become a manager" idea, which is toxic for technical organizations.

Re: So you're a manager now

#42

Post by snarf21 » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:02 PM UTC

skeeter2020 wrote: post #33

Nothing here is wrong; some of it good, but it's missing the foundational piece that - if you get it right - helps with everything you need to do and mitigates the countless mistakes you are going to make: you need to genuinely care. How you show your team you care is going to be different, but once (ed: if!) you do you get a pass on the little mistakes, they won't jump to the least charitable interpretation when you…

Agreed. When I was a manager, my sole focus was trying to help my team be maximally successful. That can take many forms but it greatly simplifies how and where to put your focus and effort. It definitely helps to keep the mindset that these aren't people that report to you, these are people that you are responsible for.

Re: So you're a manager now

#43

Post by Aurornis » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:02 PM UTC

flashgordon wrote: post #19

Aurornis wrote: post #3

Some good advice. It’s missing one of the most difficult topics: Performance Management. Most first-time managers have already read a lot of advice about being humble, delegating, celebrating your team’s wins, and the other feel good topics. If you want to write internet advice that gets upvoted and shared you almost have to avoid the difficult conversation topics and assume that the team is full of perfect people th…

This is really nice. I've been doing this for quite a while (and also ping pong ic-em and back). Oh and I've also been "the" poor performer. A couple of observations: 1. Performance management is never easy and I don't think it should be. I don't mean the technique or process of it bit the mental weighing of it. You are affecting a person's livelihood so you don't want to approach it robotically always (despite what…

> I've seen really strong performers drop and fail because of personal situations and not being able (or rather not given the space and bandwidth to recover organically). And similarly those with a poor perf in one company go to a supposedly "higher tier" company and really thrive and sky rocket.

I have, too, but this is the bias I was talking about: We like reading and writing about the situations where managers were able to convert a low performer to a star performer. Similarly, when a high performer becomes a low performer we like reading about how management was at fault.

Yet much less is written about the difficult employees who aren’t responsive to management coaching. Most of what is written is about the stories where good managers turned difficult employees around or bad managers failed to help employees, leaving an impression that the manager is solely responsible for the outcome.

In the peer group I mentioned above a common story is for someone to arrive after trying to coach a problem employee for years without progress. When you’ve been led to believe that a failing employee is really a failure of management it’s hard to let go of them, because letting go is admitting failure. It takes a reality check from someone more experienced to realize that not every employee has good intentions. These situations aren’t written about as much because they’re uncomfortable and many don’t like reading about it.

Re: So you're a manager now

#44

Post by orthoxerox » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:03 PM UTC

b3lvedere wrote: post #5

"Be Clear. Painfully Clear. You think you’re being obvious. You’re not. Spell out expectations. Over-communicate. Set goals in plain language." Lots of managers i had the pleasure of working with, missed this memo entirely...

Yes, and setting deadlines is an important aspect of it. If you don't like how close the deadline is, then it's even more important to communicate it to your IC.

You might think that saying "I need this done by the end of Friday" will make your IC sad. No, what will make him or her sad is you coming for the deliverable on Friday when they have just started.

Re: So you're a manager now

#45

Post by skeeter2020 » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:04 PM UTC

mewpmewp2 wrote: post #15

NalNezumi wrote: post #11

>Sometimes it means shielding your team from dumb shit. I think this is a generally good advice, but can also be misused. I liked my previous manager, he had a principle for that part. Shielding the team from those crap, especially paperwork stuff. The trouble was that I could see how it was grinding him down, and I knew I could help him with it (because this was Japan, he didn't speak Japanese, I do and language bar…

I also have a counterpoint to that: manager "shielding" has previously led me into this telephone game sort of thing where I have to guess if there is something going politically wrong or if the ask is actually honest and straightforward. If I exactly understood the politics, or the bs going on, I could give better solutions without tiptoeing around it.

You sometimes hear this described as the "shit umbrella" but it needs to be more like a missle defense system. Similarly it's hard to hit everything you should and you will miss, but you still gotta try. I try to shield the team from the noise, but not the awareness. I'm still trying to get this right.

Re: So you're a manager now

#46

Post by b3lvedere » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:04 PM UTC

mewpmewp2 wrote: post #12

b3lvedere wrote: post #5

"Be Clear. Painfully Clear. You think you’re being obvious. You’re not. Spell out expectations. Over-communicate. Set goals in plain language." Lots of managers i had the pleasure of working with, missed this memo entirely...

This is a really tough one isn't it? On the other hand I personally don't like when leaders or managers are over communicating (contrasting to this article). Of course I never say it, so the author can claim that nobody has criticised managers for over communicating, but I do despise too frequent check ins, meetings that are going too long, people who talk for too long when I just want to get started already. Manager…

You can both speak the exact same language and still have misinterpretations on what needs to be done. I've witnessed that multiple times. Management team holds a meeting and agree on what needs to be done. Single manager meets his team and tells them something, but not totally the same thing on what needs to be done. Each team member just nods and starts working. Everybody gets annoyed. Somewhere in the communication line something went horribly wrong.

Re: So you're a manager now

#47

Post by flashgordon » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:05 PM UTC

virgilp wrote: post #31

flashgordon wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is really nice. I've been doing this for quite a while (and also ping pong ic-em and back). Oh and I've also been "the" poor performer. A couple of observations: 1. Performance management is never easy and I don't think it should be. I don't mean the technique or process of it bit the mental weighing of it. You are affecting a person's livelihood so you don't want to approach it robotically always (despite what…

> I guess the solution is to just join executive leadership ha. It's really... not? I guess, it probably depends on the person too. But at some level, you have both a lot of power to influence things accidentally in a bad way if you're not careful, and at the same time absolutely minimal power to actually get stuff done (you always need to rely on others for the "doing" part, oftentimes several levels deep/ with a lo…

I wasnt suggesting that you shouldnt or you cannot take the decisions. We all understand corporate life etc and i think that kind of compartmentalizing is just part of the game. Frankly there is no decision to take - you are just a messenger so you roll with the punches. While we all learn to put up a straight face and explain (nay relay/readout) why sacrificing X000 people because the path to ASI needs new blood etc - if you are not moved by it internally (with your inner self raising that single eye-brow in .... curiosity) then I applaude you for being made of much more sterner stuff than me :)

Re: So you're a manager now

#48

Post by mehulashah » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:06 PM UTC

Fantastic post. I became a manager in the style of the Steve Jobs philosophy— take one of your best individual contributors and make them oversee the work of others. Professional managers didn’t work out well for Apple, but the approach of letting growing leaders lead did. This post misses out on the important point to rely on your instincts because that’s why you’ve been put in that position.

Re: So you're a manager now

#49

Post by skeeter2020 » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:06 PM UTC

>> At my day job we use a platform called Bonusly for people to give little shout-outs (shouts-out?) to their peers for doing something awesome. I rarely get any awards here, but people on my teams get them all the damn time and to me that speaks incredible volumes.

I view this as you won't see a good manager's fingerprints on the thing that receives the recognition, but you will find them all over the people who are being recognized. It's harder to get a dopamine hit from this but like protein over sugar, it lasts longer & helps build you as a manager.

Re: So you're a manager now

#50

Post by MrGilbert » Thu, Jul 31, 2025, 2:09 PM UTC

Aurornis wrote: post #3

Some good advice. It’s missing one of the most difficult topics: Performance Management. Most first-time managers have already read a lot of advice about being humble, delegating, celebrating your team’s wins, and the other feel good topics. If you want to write internet advice that gets upvoted and shared you almost have to avoid the difficult conversation topics and assume that the team is full of perfect people th…

Agile Coach / Scrum Master chiming in - I switched from an engineering position to this more people-centric role, and completely agree with you.

What I find fascinating about this is how predictable people become once you know the different personalities and their nuances. It helps tremendously to also be interested in getting to know people. And yes, you will encounter people that are disruptive. Usually, and I can only speak for my environment, the team itself is quite good at handling that. I just need to give them room and provide a setting where they can talk about the issues at hand on a constructive base.

That's why I love my job, and it may sound weird - but I'm the guy who can ask all the obvious questions that come to mind and others don't dare to ask. I love that I can build myself a toolbox to use in different (and difficult) situations. And I love to see my team succeed on the one hand, and learn from failure on the other.