Your post gets a number of things wrong about Perl.
> For crying out loud Perl has pointers in it.
It does? Do you mean references? You'll need to use reference syntax when using nested data structures, but this is the same syntax that you'll find in Python and Ruby - you could think of those languages as using references by default instead of having array or list types.
> Perl doesn't do basic parameter checking in functions.
This is true - you'll need to deconstruct `@_` yourself. It is a shame. There is Params::Validate and Method::Signatures to fix this.
> Perl doesn't come with a decent repl.
Yeah, this is annoying. Get Devel::REPL and use that.
> Perl doesn't do sane type checking. print "abc" + 1; prints 1. It isn't a syntax error (like in Ruby or Python).
This throws a lot of people off, when they expect it to work like Python or Ruby and it doesn't. "abc" and 1 are actually the same type - scalars. A scalar can be a number or a string behind the scenes, and they're automatically converted, so you can just read data from a file and not have to worry about that. You want to use the dot operator, `print "abc" . 1;`, which prints "abc1" (which is what I think you want).
In those languages, it throws a type error, not a syntax error, which is an important distinction. Intergalactic law states that you're not allowed to complain about Perl if you don't know this.
> wantarray is one of most horrible things I've seen a programming language
Having list flattening means you can dump all kinds of data into a function and not have to worry about where it came from. Recently I wrote the line of code `highlight qr/regex/, @colours, @more_colours`, where I just dumped values from arrays into the function and didn't have to worry about destructuring them. If I wanted to pass the arrays, I'd put a backslash before them. It's sort of the opposite of Ruby's unary * operator.
Perl has warts just like any other language. Its warts are just more infamous (because Perl is used so much, a lot of people are having to maintain old codebases) and more visible (Perl has a culture of using the CPAN to fix things with the language (MooseX, Modern::Perl) whereas other languages' users tend to just put up with it).
I disagree that the average code is what counts. When I helped out on a Python cause, the lecturer barely knew Python, and taught it as though it were C (the students learned while loops first, then for loops, and never actually learned about generators. Yeah, I know). The code they wrote was definitely below-average. But not once did they turn to the Internet to see what proper Python code was like - they just followed the course, and did what it told them. If you learn Perl from a book, the amount of sub-par Perl code in the wild isn't going to affect you. Or, to put it another way: how can someone else make my language a worse one merely by writing in it?
I do agree that Perl is a bad choice for your first language: the choices it gives you and the amount it leaves up to you could get confusing when you're trying to learn it by yourself. Perl is a language for when you're a better programmer, and you've learnt to code at a higher level.