31–40 of 79 posts
For coders: "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." — Brian Kernighan Think about kindness in your code.
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I agree with your conclusion, but I'm not sure it applies here. Being mean is not the same thing as being persuasive, and very often they are at odds. There are usually better ways to get someone to come around to your way of thinking than making them feel bad about themselves. Making someone feel bad can actually decrease your credibility in their eyes, because it makes them want for you to be wrong. Think about gre…
I agree with everything you're saying, but would like to add that being factual isn't the same thing as being mean, although it can be perceived that way.
It's up to us to care enough to be nice and how we're perceived.
no it's not. it just depends on who you think your audience is. why do people always put their own use case as general rule for everyone? granted, you're talking about making money. otherwise is perfectly fine being a complete douchebag and everyone still using and loving what you build, invent, research.
In the mean time, Forrest Gump has buddies everywhere who willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he accidentally commits a broken build.
Be excellent to each other.
It's somewhat ironic, but I frequently see this attitude espoused by programmers or other people who are more on the "clever" side than the "kind" side, and it sounds a bit like a "grass is greener on the other side" type of thing. As someone who's good at being kind, let me say that it's not always what it's cracked up to be. Kindness can not only win you friends and allies, but it can also turn you into a giant doo…
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Yeah except, well, the dying at 56 part.
Yeah, because that's related to whether or not he was a jerk. Spoiler: It isn't.
Bezos' grandmother was dying of smoking cigarettes, and if he managed to push her into quitting it was probably worth being a little mean about it. This is the kind of "deep" sounding quote that's actually not so deep at all. It's obviously good to be kind, and good to be clever, and in fact in order to really be kind one must be at least a little clever. Check the consequences, not the surface appearance, of your ac…
If you really want to do something about it, the best thing you can do is to show that person the hard-facts about smoking, and give her reassurance that people can and have quit smoking successfully. And then hope that in the future, when she'll be disgusted about this habit one morning, she'll remember your words and seek further help.
Being mean about it, no matter the scope, doesn't do any good. And as a negative consequence, the smoker will begin to avoid you.
(disclaimer: I'm currently a smoker)
We have a clear example of this at the moment, with the Paralympic games. The founder of the games, Dr Ludwig Guttmann, revolutionised the care of spinal injury in the UK. Until his innovations, a patient with a spinal cord injury had a life expectancy of less than two years, with most patients dying from bedsores and urinary tract infections.
Guttmann's methods were resisted all the way by his colleagues and the nurses working under him, because they seemed wilfully cruel. Guttmann reduced the sedation of patients, even if it meant that they were in constant pain. He had patients turned every two hours, day and night, even if they were terribly sleep-deprived. He forced patients to exercise and undergo painful physiotherapy.
The results were nothing short of miraculous. Within a matter of years, patients who were previously seen as hopeless incurables were being sent home to live long and fulfilling lives. The medics around Guttmann simply lacked the vision and insight to realise that these patients could be treated effectively. They were kind and caring people, but they could do nothing but dose their patients with morphine and watch them die.
Kindness is nothing but a particular sort of shortsightedness. Being a decent and moral person often requires one to do something that is entirely correct but deeply unkind. Medicine is the most obvious example, but we all live with such challenges every day. Do we give our children candy or broccoli? Do we tell a friend that their haircut is unflattering? Do we tell a relative that their partner is a philanderer? Often, the moral choice is not the kind one.
"I'd rather be rich than stupid" -jack handey
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I agree with everything you're saying, but would like to add that being factual isn't the same thing as being mean, although it can be perceived that way.
"Being mean" is about HOW you present the facts. Yes, this is more or less difficult with some facts (such as getting fired), but there are ways(It's not you, it's me). It's up to us to care enough to be nice and how we're perceived.
But sometimes the facts themselves are perceived as mean, when they really aren't.