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One on One

bhorowitz.com

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Re: One on One

#21

Post by l0tics »

pnathan wrote: post #16
l0tics wrote: post #13

I would really like to have another 1:1 with my boss, but I am an introverted contractor with little-to-no experience communicating in a corporate environment. I'm stuck for fear of how much control they have over my life at the moment. How can I be honest with someone like that?

This is a good point. The power asymmetry is problematic for trust.

Trust is exactly the issue I am having. I can't trust someone that I cannot communicate honestly with. Why risk telling my manager any of my problems with the job when it is their job to potentially use that information against me? I wouldn't even know if they did. My brain starts overthinking the situation and I end up waiting until the only option is the worst one.

Re: One on One

#23

Post by nikatwork »

slurgfest wrote: post #20
prostoalex wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Confirming expectations is useful for larger, more established organizations with established operations. This text is written by an investor in startups, who typically rely on hiring motivated and autonomous individuals with the expectation that employee will be self-directed, so the purpose of those meetings is to broadcast and remove the obstacles for such employee.

I don't know what it looks like to investors, but I am familiar with startups. And I am afraid that even in that context, it is still usually necessary for employees to understand what their managers want. Is the problem that a one on one feels like an insulting way of communicating?

There is a line between communicating strategic and tactical goals to an employee, and micromanagement nitpicking of irrelevant trivia.

Sure, the boss is always the most important client - but nitpicking shows a lack of trust and respect to the employee and is very harmful to morale and productivity (IME).

As with all things, it's about finding the right balance.

Re: One on One

#26

Post by arctangent »

slurgfest wrote: post #14
therealarmen wrote: post #3

I've been involved in one-on-one's in the past (as an employee) that were simply another way for my manager to shove directions down my throat. Needless to say, I loathed them and tried to make up any excuse I could to cancel or reschedule. Now, as a manager, I've tried to learn from my experiences and make the one-on-one more about the employee. Some of the best one-on-ones I've done have nothing to do with work --…

I don't understand, isn't an employee supposed to take direction from a manager? (So they can fulfill expectations rather than being surprised when the company is not happy with whatever they've done?) You won't see me shying away from saying things that are skeptical about managerial privilege, I just don't understand what you meant here.

> isn't an employee supposed to take direction from a manager?

Well, yes. But the relationship should also benefit the employee.

I'm not a great fan of managers in general, but I do recognise that they can play an important role in shielding you from a lot of the political nonsense that can float around in a large organisations.

On top of this they also have a role to play in providing HR guidance, pastoral support, and also as someone to bounce ideas off - I sometimes use my manager as my rubber duck [1]

However, if your relationship with your manager is all one way then there's almost certainly something wrong there. The best managers (IMHO) clear the path to allow their staff to achieve what needs to be done, rather that micromanaging and cracking the whip.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging

Re: One on One

#27

Post by columbo »

I hate to see 1-on-1's get abused because they really are a valuable tool.

A 1-on-1 is a designated time for an employee to direct an entire conversation with their manager. They can choose to talk about interests, grievances, concerns, ideas, hobbies, problems, successes or NOTHING AT ALL. This is for a manager to sit back and absorb, to give answers when asked. That's it.

A good manager will take 1-on-1s as a way to make sure their employees are happy, healthy and not at risk of leaving the company. This isn't a bi-weekly-performance-review.

Re: One on One

#28

Post by diego »

slurgfest wrote: post #14
therealarmen wrote: post #3

I've been involved in one-on-one's in the past (as an employee) that were simply another way for my manager to shove directions down my throat. Needless to say, I loathed them and tried to make up any excuse I could to cancel or reschedule. Now, as a manager, I've tried to learn from my experiences and make the one-on-one more about the employee. Some of the best one-on-ones I've done have nothing to do with work --…

I don't understand, isn't an employee supposed to take direction from a manager? (So they can fulfill expectations rather than being surprised when the company is not happy with whatever they've done?) You won't see me shying away from saying things that are skeptical about managerial privilege, I just don't understand what you meant here.

That is not the point of the one-on-one. The one-on-one is a time for the employee to speak his/her mind, express concerns, etc. Read the link to Rands' post somewhere else on this thread. The entire book is great, and I think every manager should read it.

Re: One on One

#30

Post by bricestacey »

l0tics wrote: post #19
inerte wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One second, you lost me. You're the introverted contractor, or your boss? What is your boss like that is preventing honesty? And sometimes, the best thing you can do is get to the next paycheck. Don't be sad to admit there are things you can not change. Good luck on your job hunting and I hope you find a better place (and boss) soon!

I've already got an offer by a startup and am currently weighing my options of staying vs leaving. The problem is that I'm not in California, so it's a bigger move than anything I've done before. But to answer your question, my boss is not preventing honesty. I don't have much experience with this but it appears to me that the corporate environment prevents it unless you are too valuable to lose or are respected ther…

You're too late to effectively communicate in a 1-on-1. You've got to begin the relationship with trust and respect the time to share grievances, successes, etc. Consider it a lesson learned for your next employment.
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