The death of partying in the USA • Hacker News Board

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#311

Post by Broken_Hippo » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:00 PM UTC

chris_va wrote: post #229

Broken_Hippo wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm pretty sure Berlin has public transportation. I have it here in Trondheim, Norway - but only one town that I've lived in the states had busses. They didn't run all night, on Sunday, nor did they visit all areas of the somewhat small town. (I'm from the US, lived more places there than I have in Norway) Other places had taxis (that you couldn't order ahead of time to get to work on time) and some had none until th…

Trondheim also has a university (which increases the odds of a party happening), and one could also walk across the entire city in less than an hour :). Most cities in the US suffer from being designed around cars, but that has not changed in the last 50 years, so I don't think it explains the decline. It's been years, but I hope Den Gode Nabo is still fun.

Part of the reason you can walk across the city in this time is because it is really walkable. I'm from the Midwest - Trondheim is the biggest city I've lived in but more walkable than any of them. I'll add that the "across the entire city in less than an hour" isn't as true as it once was, especially when you consider that places like Klæbu are part of the city now and the population has grown. Byåsen would take me over an hour to walk to.

Den Gode Nabo is still about, but its been years since I've been there :)

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#312

Post by cmckn » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

qualeed wrote: post #286

jamiek88 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I physically cringed reading it. The intention is great but if I was his kid those cards would be staying in my backpack. Making a kid stand out like that is risky as fuck for social standing. But this is likely the worst forum in the world to talk about typical social skills.

How are you communicating your contact information to your kids friends parents in a non-cringe way? If handing them a piece of paper with my number is too cringe, I'd be really happy to have a non-cringe, non-standout (?) way of doing that.

Does your kid know your phone number?

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#313

Post by anton-c » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

snozolli wrote: post #275

yubblegum wrote: post #258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Basically, the kids who were socially marginalized in the prenetworks era also did not get to see the parties the socially active kids were having, and would have wondered at it all. It would have certainly been also 'a new experience' for them! Except back then they didn't have a place like reddit to go to and wonder out loud.

I never went to parties like this. I wasn't socially marginalized, I just wasn't one of the popular kids. Popularity at my school was closely tied with wealth and family status. A relatively tiny group of people lived this sort of life.

We just had our own parties for our social group. Not as many pretty girls and alcohol stolen from parents but still a good time.

Then when the popular kids were bored occasionally they'd end up at our shindigs

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#314

Post by tines » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

esafak wrote: post #296

Aurornis wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's really sad to me how we have completely fucked a lot of youth with social media, smart phones, You have to be careful with Gen Z threads like this on Reddit and Twitter. They are inherently biased toward Gen Z people who are chronically online and deep into social media. If you spend time with kids in the real world, you learn very rapidly that most of them aren't on platforms like Reddit and Twitter. Of those…

Also known as selection bias . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selection_bias

We know.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#315

Post by mock-possum » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

zoomablemind wrote: post #43

luckydata wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it's the only way it works. It took me MONTHS to get a hold of the number of my son's best friend's parents so that now we can organize maybe an afternoon of play every 4-5 weeks.

I thought a prime time for contacting the parents is right after school when picking up the kid. Everyone is there waiting, so it's just natural to chit chat, esp when the kids are friends.

That would require everybody get out of the car and get off their phones though

Why do all that, when you can sit in the comfort of a nice warm / cool dry vehicle and play videogames and listen to music?

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#316

Post by ProllyInfamous » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

burnt-resistor wrote: post #11

My grandma was the head of the local Air Force wives' club. Their house was always stocked like a full bar and at least several people stopped by for a visit just about every day. They knew at least 10 of their neighbors well, and some former neighbors too. Find me community like this anywhere in America these days. Immigrant communities perhaps? Most Americans these days won't interact with their neighbors unless it…

>Find me community like this anywhere in America these days.

The only reason I have become a staple member of my little dead-end, working-class street is because I don't email/text, and last summer I spent outdoors building a tinyhome (that all the passersby watched/asked about).

"How do I get ahold of you?" they used to ask... "Simple," I'd say, "just knock on my door between noon through sunset" [my calling hours, to use the historic term, posted by my doorbell]. Haven't even used my phone but a handful of times this 2025 — turned off entirely since early May — & my social life is what I want it to be, I am not alone any more than I wish to be.

I moved here two years ago, and already know everybody on my street (24 dwellings, total); it's primarily rentals, so when there is a new U-Haul I make sure to bring over a beer/conversation (typically a week after moving in — so they can settle/adjust/remember).

Before living in this working-class neighborhood, I lived in the nicer parts of towns... and honestly, these working-class people are nicer and more giving/understanding/decent than anywhere else I've ever lived (e.g. Westlake Hills [near Austin]; West End [Nashville]; Barton Hills [ATX]; Lookout Mountain [Tenn]).

Stop doing everything on your phone. Start being neighborly.

Example: multiple neighbors and I have jointly-purchased a nicer lawnmower, instead of each buying our own simpler pusher.

¢¢

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#317

Post by longtimelistnr » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

realityfactchex wrote: post #94

01100011 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My Southern California neighborhood used to be like this. It was a diverse neighborhood of white, Filipino, Viet and Mexicans and it felt alive. Then covid hit and the demographics changed. Prices went up. Now the neighborhood is as quiet at night as where I lived in the bay area a few years ago. No open garages. No music. People are generally unfriendly now and keep to themselves more. Sad what we've lost. We're sti…

> open garages Can you say more about open garages and community? Is that about car culture, music, pool tables, garage "bars", sofas, TVs, or something else? Would the whole local neighborhood be welcomed into open garages, or was open-garage-culture limited to people whom people already knew?

at least in my parents neighborhood, the open garage or the pool with a non-privacy fence, or the front/side porch are all hangout spots where other neighbors will walk by and join you for conversation

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#318

Post by fundad » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:02 PM UTC

blurbleblurble wrote: post #261

Aurornis wrote: post #257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People these days don’t own real estate. Wealthy people own it all. Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes. It’s kind of hard to throw a big party without a big home, a yard, a big kitchen, etc. Small apartments are for small get-togethers that probably don’t register as parties. This is baffling to me. Most of the parties I went to in high school, college, and my 20s were in people's tiny apartm…

People are tired

And partying is expensive

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#319

Post by watwut » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:02 PM UTC

bluGill wrote: post #239

dddddaviddddd wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You either need to have a designated driver, find a taxi (which doesn't exist in most rural areas), or just not drink. Or live in a place where you don’t drive to get around.

Very few places on earth are like that. Even in Europe's dense cities there are a lot of cars, get outside of that and there is no hope of an alternative. Though Europe is somewhat likely to have a bar within walking distance of your house, but a lot of people in Europe drive to whatever bar they drink in at least sometime. Most of the world's public transportation sees themselves as a way to get to work and so parti…

Not really? Yes there are a lot of cars in EU cities, but young people are not driving them - they use combination of walking, biking and public transport.

Parties are where people live and in center - public transport gets you there. Using public transport to get from bar or home party is quite normal.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#320

Post by grvdrm » Thu, Jul 10, 2025, 4:03 PM UTC

snozolli wrote: post #275

yubblegum wrote: post #258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Basically, the kids who were socially marginalized in the prenetworks era also did not get to see the parties the socially active kids were having, and would have wondered at it all. It would have certainly been also 'a new experience' for them! Except back then they didn't have a place like reddit to go to and wonder out loud.

I never went to parties like this. I wasn't socially marginalized, I just wasn't one of the popular kids. Popularity at my school was closely tied with wealth and family status. A relatively tiny group of people lived this sort of life.

Popularity is also so subjective.

I look back at high school and see several popular groups. Did one rise above the others? Not in an obvious way.

Like you said: some were from wealthier families, some were the athletes and their groupies (no surprise). But I went to parties of all shapes and sizes - some in those groups I just mentioned and some in other groups. Didn’t really matter that there was a premier group of socialites.