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The death of partying in the USA

derekthompson.org

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Re: The death of partying in the USA

#101

Post by iamdelirium »

antonymoose wrote: post #74
ryandrake wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Often the kids like to play together, but the parents are the ones that are just... weird and asocial. I hate to bring agism into this, but there definitely seems to be a generational gap with the adults. Some of my kid's friends are raised by their parents, and others are (apparently) raised primarily by grandparents. When my kid wants to get together with friends whose (50-60 year old) grandparents bring them by, t…

I’ll endorse this heavily. We bought into a nice suburban community. Good schools, low crime, the dream. No one knows any neighbors. Kids rarely play with one another intra-neighborhood despite a very healthy blend of age ranges. In fact, I’ve loosely associate with exactly one neighbor in the three years. We went out of our way to try and meet neighbors our first month. Most treated us as if we head too many heads o…

Have you thought maybe its your environment? I think the "nice suburban communities" have always been filled with antisocial people (as someone who grew it in them). People go to the suburbs for quiet and to be left alone.

I barely knew anyone in the neighborhood when I was living with my parents in the suburbs. My friends were all from school and required a car to hang out.

In contrast, now as an adult, I live in a dense major city (that's supposedly filled with crime according right wing news) and I see kids all the time walking around. I have a young kid and he interacts with his neighbors a lot more. My mailman knows of my kid and when we moved across the street.

Our closest couple's friend is a 5 minute walk away and its nice to randomly run into them on a weekend when taking a walk.

We regularly have wine and food on Fridays with one of my neighbors who have a kid close to our age and its easy and without friction.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#102

Post by Retric »

Gigachad wrote: post #83
Retric wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Owning an apartment isn’t materially different than renting an apartment here. It’s sometimes better as many apartments have free or rentable spaces available for parties as a selling point, but rarely can you use that space late in the evening. Owning a home in an HOA area can drastically cut down on what kinds of parties you can host.

To some extent but there are differences. You have housing stability, a fixed price going forward, the ability to renovate most of the internals, and the ability to affix things to the walls without worrying about marks when you have to move out.

I don’t disagree, my comments was about the logistics of throwing a party.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#103

Post by strangefellow »

avhception wrote: post #52

I broadly agree with the article. I'm also wondering if the rising political polarization is at least in part caused by the "antisocial" phenomenon. If you're not exposed to a spectrum of political worldviews through being involved with all these people you randomly met back in the day, it becomes easier to dehumanize the people you disagree with. You also never have to listen to their talking points, because you can…

It's also the opposite. People are exposed to the most extreme, unhinged, and horrifying aspects of humanity on a continuous basis through every form of media and connectivity. It shapes your unconscious risk/reward expectations around forming connections. Someone invites you over to their house for dinner? You just saw a YouTube video about a woman who mixes her urine into her cooking and feeds it to unsuspecting guests to heal what ails them. Almost every form of engaging with the world these days -- except genuinely connecting with others -- makes genuinely connecting with others feel riskier than it is.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#104

Post by Dusseldorf »

lurking_swe wrote: post #69
ryandrake wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Often the kids like to play together, but the parents are the ones that are just... weird and asocial. I hate to bring agism into this, but there definitely seems to be a generational gap with the adults. Some of my kid's friends are raised by their parents, and others are (apparently) raised primarily by grandparents. When my kid wants to get together with friends whose (50-60 year old) grandparents bring them by, t…

context: i’m in my early 30’s and i’m not a parent the behavior you described of the 25-35 year range is appalling. and those aren’t my kids so that’s saying something. Call it what it is, antisocial. Baffling to me…why are people so weird?

It's the phones. No one has anything to talk about anymore because constant scrolling leaves you with nothing to show. And then it's self perpetuating --easier to keep slamming the dopamine button than trying to make conversation with a completely atrophied social muscle.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#106

Post by southernplaces7 »

add-sub-mul-div wrote: post #73
southernplaces7 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>With COVID partying meant that someone could kill you with an illness. Given the mortality rate for people typically in the partying age group (and especially those under 30), you were more likely to die in a traffic accident on your way to or back from the party, or from alcohol poisoning, than from a case of COVID acquired there. Let's not exaggerate. From the NIH: The median IFR for COVID based on age groups: 0.0…

Some people didn't want to get it even if they were guaranteed to survive, because they could pass it to others who were more vulnerable to it.

This yes and a fair worry for many who lived with older parents, grandparents etc, but the original comment mentioned an illness killing "you" assuming the partygoer, who, given the context of the article, is probably going to be a lot younger than anything close to elderly (though elderly people should party too. Socializing should never be under-estimated for helping vitality)

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#108

Post by Dusseldorf »

antonymoose wrote: post #74
ryandrake wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Often the kids like to play together, but the parents are the ones that are just... weird and asocial. I hate to bring agism into this, but there definitely seems to be a generational gap with the adults. Some of my kid's friends are raised by their parents, and others are (apparently) raised primarily by grandparents. When my kid wants to get together with friends whose (50-60 year old) grandparents bring them by, t…

I’ll endorse this heavily. We bought into a nice suburban community. Good schools, low crime, the dream. No one knows any neighbors. Kids rarely play with one another intra-neighborhood despite a very healthy blend of age ranges. In fact, I’ve loosely associate with exactly one neighbor in the three years. We went out of our way to try and meet neighbors our first month. Most treated us as if we head too many heads o…

That's really rough. We bought into a neighborhood in an older college town, and I think that's helped things a bit for us. Smaller houses and yards, so people hang out around the neighborhood or in parks. Everyone's out walking their dogs all the time, and pretty much everyone is happy to stop and chat. I think it's just about getting lucky and finding places where people prioritize the community rather than having giant houses, giant yards with swingsets, and giant cars so they never need to talk to anyone.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#109

Post by p_j_w »

Apreche wrote: post #28

This article isn’t wrong, but it neglects to mention real estate, transportation, and lodging. A party needs a venue, and it needs guests. And the guests need a way to get to and from the venue. If they stay a long time, they need a place to sleep. People these days don’t own real estate. Wealthy people own it all. Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes. It’s kind of hard to throw a big party witho…

>People these days don’t own real estate. Wealthy people own it all.

The article says a similar decline is seen among the wealthy.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#110

Post by asdff »

sokoloff wrote: post #56
Apreche wrote: post #28

This article isn’t wrong, but it neglects to mention real estate, transportation, and lodging. A party needs a venue, and it needs guests. And the guests need a way to get to and from the venue. If they stay a long time, they need a place to sleep. People these days don’t own real estate. Wealthy people own it all. Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes. It’s kind of hard to throw a big party witho…

> Normal people are renting apartments or portions of homes. About 2/3 of households in the US own the home they live in. Renting is the minority, not the majority.

That is severely overrepresented by old farts who don't party. Among people who party most probably rent.
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