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No Hello

nohello.net

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Re: No Hello

#111

Post by kevindamm »

macspoofing wrote: post #107
dfboyd wrote: post #86

I'm the original author of this content. I wrote it on the internal wiki at Google in 2007. Someone copied it and posted it at nohello.(something) after I left Google. It's made the front page of HN multiple times. The discussions always split between the people who just want to get on with the conversation and the people who can't bring themselves to do that because they consider it unforgivably rude. The second gro…

There's another reason for 'hello' ... it's a way to make sure you have the other person's attention before launching into a topic or question.

If the conversation needs that, many think that indicates it should be an email, or a meeting, not a chat.

Re: No Hello

#112

Post by hiAndrewQuinn »

hombre_fatal wrote: post #43
emblaegh wrote: post #5

My life hack for this kind of situation is to say “hello” back. Works every time.

I don't get what this achieves since the whole reason they sent you "hello" is that they want a TCP handshake before they get on with it. So sending hello back just acks the message and they will proceed which is what they wanted. The annoyance in TFA is that you have to do the handshake at all.

Actually, when you put it like that, sending 'hello' back might be the best thing you could do. They sent you a SYN, you send back and ACK, then the real conversation can begin.

I suddenly no longer agree with TFA. This makes way more sense to me in this light.

Re: No Hello

#114

Post by SOLAR_FIELDS »

Sheeny96 wrote: post #99

This can be a cultural thing, at least in my experience. Particularly with Indian and African colleagues, it seems to be ubiquitous amongst them.

Yep I work with a fair amount of people from India and I can definitely concur anecdotally that this is something my Indian colleagues do more often. It’s a global thing in my experience but definitely more predominant in some cultures than others

Re: No Hello

#115

Post by lcnPylGDnU4H9OF »

dfboyd wrote: post #86

I'm the original author of this content. I wrote it on the internal wiki at Google in 2007. Someone copied it and posted it at nohello.(something) after I left Google. It's made the front page of HN multiple times. The discussions always split between the people who just want to get on with the conversation and the people who can't bring themselves to do that because they consider it unforgivably rude. The second gro…

There’s more than two groups. Some people are just being friendly, behavior which is hard to exhibit when you primarily (or only) interact with someone over chat. Yes, some people are just being nervous around potentially breaching etiquette in an ironic way that happens to be a different breach of etiquette (for some, at least) but I just respond with “hi” strictly because I am interested in getting on with the conversation.

It would be rude to simply link this site (not blaming you) in response to a “hello” coming from a remote co-worker, or even a co-worker across the office who just didn’t want to walk over. They are just being friendly!

I am one who would prefer to just get on with the conversation but I also realize that’s not how everyone is and that’s okay; I should play nice with others if I want others to play nice with me and a simple “hey” in response is such an easy way to play nice.

Re: No Hello

#116

Post by TeMPOraL »

SirFatty wrote: post #67
jvanderbot wrote: post #29

My wife, god bless her, is really good with people. I try very hard to mimic her, but this multi-round interaction has completely permeated how she interacts over tech, even with tech. I cannot manage it. Her: "Alexa, add to shopping list". "OK, what should I add for you". "Peanut butter". "OK, peanut butter added, what else?". . Me: "Alexa add peanut butter to shopping list". "Peanut butter added". Some people are T…

"Some people are TCP. Some are UDP." Nailed it! This is going up on the wall in my office.

And some people, like me, are... what do you call TCP but without initial handshake? Like:

----

Other person: Hi, what time was that thing?

Me: Hey, 14:00.

...

...

Me: Hey, 14:00!

...

...

Me: walks in their face Hey you, the thing you asked, it's at 14:00.

Other person: Yes yes, I heard you first time!

Me: boils internally, muttering to themselves so why the fsck didn't you say so?

----

Please don't hang on "Hello", but for $deity's sake, confirm reception of messages, especially in analog communication.

Re: No Hello

#117

Post by lcnPylGDnU4H9OF »

macspoofing wrote: post #107
dfboyd wrote: post #86

I'm the original author of this content. I wrote it on the internal wiki at Google in 2007. Someone copied it and posted it at nohello.(something) after I left Google. It's made the front page of HN multiple times. The discussions always split between the people who just want to get on with the conversation and the people who can't bring themselves to do that because they consider it unforgivably rude. The second gro…

There's another reason for 'hello' ... it's a way to make sure you have the other person's attention before launching into a topic or question.

That’s a poor reason; I just say “hi” back and tab out until there is another message. They capture my attention with details.

Re: No Hello

#118

Post by simonw »

dfboyd wrote: post #86

I'm the original author of this content. I wrote it on the internal wiki at Google in 2007. Someone copied it and posted it at nohello.(something) after I left Google. It's made the front page of HN multiple times. The discussions always split between the people who just want to get on with the conversation and the people who can't bring themselves to do that because they consider it unforgivably rude. The second gro…

I've always been fascinated to learn more about cultural differences around this topic.

I've seen arguments in the past that different nationalities may have different norms around this kind of thing, in particular over whether it's polite to launch straight into a request for help without confirming the other person is available and receptive first.

There may be a power dynamics thing here too - if somebody is seen as being more "senior" there may be additional perceived constraints on how a conversation should be conducted.

Since you've been involved in conversations about this for more than 15 years now have you seen any credible evidence of cultural differences that come into play here?

Re: No Hello

#119

Post by dmichulke »

defraudbah wrote: post #30

do we have a version for this to people who call you out of blue? they have a single question and could type it out or email you, instead than ring to you if you don't have the power to tell people to f- off, the only option left is to accept it and either play their game or ignore a type of behavior you don't want to reward

If you pick up you're training them to call you again.

Don't feel bad for not answering, just put your phone away for a couple hours.

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