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Why Koreans ask what year you were born

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Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#281

Post by tharkun__ »

bityard wrote: post #227
xenadu02 wrote: post #210

In the USA as a low-level employee address the company CEO as "heya phil, hows it going?". Then address your friend with "Hello Mr. Smith". In most cases you won't get a positive reaction out of either one of those (yes exceptions exist). How about this: address your husband/wife as "Mr/Mrs ", especially after a fight. Similarly when the kids have been doing something or you are frustrated with your partner say " you…

I could be off-base here because I've been in tech too long but my understanding was that addressing people formally as Mr/Mrs/Ms has been outmoded in business virtually everywhere except in legal matters and (sometimes) when you work for a company and are speaking directly to one of your customers. Everywhere I've been and observed, it's always been, "Good Morning, " or similar regardless of who is talking to who on…

Agreed, this isn't a US or English only thing.

There are other languages that make this distinction. French. German. Just as other examples.

But as soon as you're past the interview, with your regular colleagues you're not gonna be on a "vous" or "Sie" basis. Maybe with your boss' boss or something, sure. Well maybe also with your boss if he's a dang stickler.

And it's been like that for well over 40 years.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#282

Post by hn_go_brrrrr »

miki123211 wrote: post #82
lukan wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In its extreme shapes maybe, but just paying respect to the elders for having lived much longer and seen so much more, is something that should be normal in my opinion.

It used to be a lot more reasonable back in the day. When the world didn't change as quickly, or didn't change at all, the elders truly knew everything the young ones knew, and so much more. They had truly seen everything and had plenty of experience with the problems young people were struggling with. This very much isn't the case any more. I'm in my twenties (technically part of gen Z), but I already feel like I do…

Sorry -- "trap-loving"?

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#283

Post by fy20 »

dserodio wrote: post #279
yxhuvud wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Germans are also pretty ridiculous around titles, in that not only can you have multiple titles, and each are mentioned, but you can also have several copies of each. So someone can be Herr Doktor Doktor Professor.

But "Doctor" means you have an actual PhD, a doctorate. That's a worthy title, IMHO

My country has a fairly high % of PhD holders, but nowhere near enough jobs for them, so they end up getting regular jobs (e.g. I have a friend who got a PhD in laser physics, who now plays with AI models for license plate recognition).

These people usually leave the PhD off their CV, as some employers frown upon it, as they think the person will have higher expectations and be hard to work with.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#284

Post by snypher »

losvedir wrote: post #233
canjobear wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This was absolutely not the norm I experienced in the 2000s.

I did in that timeframe. To be clear, it's not "Mr Surname" but just plain "Surname". I have a lot of friends like that, "Boughter", "Mooney", etc. Not everyone, but particularly if the first name was a common one or they played sports. I'm actually surprised you're not familiar with the practice. Think Scully from X-Files or Stifler from American Pie.

>Stifler from American Pie

I always assumed it was his first name, thanks for expanding my understanding just a little!

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#285

Post by aspenmayer »

JohnFen wrote: post #142

What would be the polite way to decline to answer the question? Is that even possible?

“I don’t give out that information (as a matter of principle/because my mother told me not to/because people close to me have been victims of identity theft/because I’m old enough to know better).” Or some variation thereof. It’s enough to say that you don’t because you choose not to, but some people will belabor the point until you give an answer that has the ring of finality and can communicate that it isn't a matter of debate, but a matter of conscience, or rationale, or whatever principle(s) guide you.

Or you could provide a joke answer that is absurdly high or low or wrong, like saying that you weren’t born yesterday, or that you were born at night, but not last night, or in the day, but not yesterday. This might work for those who you are closer with personally, but some may find this kind of answer dismissive and will persist or get upset. If in doubt, use the principle-based approach I mentioned above instead or in addition to the joke one, as a way of showing that you’re answering in good faith and take their question seriously as asked.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#286

Post by EarlKing »

dmoy wrote: post #195
EarlKing wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Addressing each other by surname is something that occurs principally in the context of sports, but outside of that you'd just address someone by given name. That was the case as regards children addressing each other or teachers addressing students. Students addressing teachers, of course, would address them by Mr/Mrs/Ms. . There are some oddball cases where teachers insist their students address them by given name,…

It is also used when there's name collision If there's five people named John in the same class in school or the same team at work, it is not uncommon for all John to go by last name.

In my circle usually people would either go by their middle name or they'd very quickly earn themselves a nickname... although now that I think about it we did use lastnames for some guys. Whatever works, really. Nobody was a stickler about how they were addressed.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#287

Post by 4gotunameagain »

Ray20 wrote: post #258
4gotunameagain wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Typical cultural superiority bias. Every way has its pros and cons. Having an age related hierarchy might have benefits like societal coherence or stability. I am not a proponent of it, I just acknowledge my inability to fully grasp the impact and ramifications as to label one as superior and the other as "perverted".

>benefits like societal coherence or stability The situation looks exactly the opposite if you look at the birth rate in the Korea.

I obviously did not mean numerical stability.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#288

Post by hulitu »

fy20 wrote: post #283
dserodio wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But "Doctor" means you have an actual PhD, a doctorate. That's a worthy title, IMHO

My country has a fairly high % of PhD holders, but nowhere near enough jobs for them, so they end up getting regular jobs (e.g. I have a friend who got a PhD in laser physics, who now plays with AI models for license plate recognition). These people usually leave the PhD off their CV, as some employers frown upon it, as they think the person will have higher expectations and be hard to work with.

> These people usually leave the PhD off their CV, as some employers frown upon it, as they think the person will have higher expectations and be hard to work with.

Most of them are hard to work with. As is with any people that climb on titles. They consider themselves special. That's why it is difficult for them to integrate in a team.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#289

Post by colanderman »

jfinnery wrote: post #276
canjobear wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This was absolutely not the norm I experienced in the 2000s.

It’s mostly a thing among kids heavily into sports, in my experience.

I suspect the equivalent for 90s/00s nerdy types is e-mail addresses.

I am still "squirrel" to some college friends. And think of many of my college friends and co-workers as their username.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#290

Post by hulitu »

balanced2 wrote: post #260
edoceo wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

HR at multi-national not aware of culture. Is that ironic?

It's normal - at least for the big US companies, even with a large presence the culture is highly American. I remember when a VP of APAC sent a org email expressing strong feelings about the Black Lives Matter protests, and it was quite awkward since that wasn't really an issue discussed outside the US - he couldn't even understand how it couldn't be an issue for everyone. Getting to hit the culture filter very early…

> about the Black Lives Matter protests, and it was quite awkward since that wasn't really an issue discussed outside the US

Maybe outside of NATO. In EU we knew more about Black Lives Matter protests than about local news.

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