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Why Koreans ask what year you were born

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Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#221

Post by encom »

umbra07 wrote: post #184
smartmic wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a generational thing. There has definitely been a change in recent years, especially the younger generation can no longer do much with the formal “Sie”, but of course they know it. I am 46 years old and have grown up with and been familiar with the “Du/Sie” dichotomy from the very beginning. It also has many advantages and offers clear relationships: There is no ambiguity as to which pronouns I use to address so…

It seems sort of like calling other people ma'am and sir in America. Everyone knows what those words mean, but younger people will almost never use them (except in specific American subcultures). Some people may be offended if you call them sir/ma'am.

The YouTube algorithm has seen fit to serve me a bunch of American police bodycam videos lately. I find it super bizarre that a policeman will address everyone as sir. Including some deranged crackhead, without pants, charging at him with a sword. Decidedly not a "sir".

In Denmark nobody adresses each other formally, unless you're royalty. Parliament also does it during debates, but that's pretty much it. It's weird when it happens, and it's usually some store clerk that does it out of a misguided attempt at politeness, but to me at least it has the opposite effect. I am not a Hr. (sir), I'm just some dickhead buying cigarettes at 1 AM.

I Denmark we at least pretend everyone is equal. The CEO of the company is just John. We eat lunch in the same break room at the same time.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#222

Post by dylan604 »

jlmcguire wrote: post #150
cafard wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think American high school kids often refer to and address one another by surname. It was the case when at my son's high school, as I recall at my own, and I think at my wife's. It might have been the case at my father's, and perhaps my wife's parents--I'd have to look at the yearbooks.

My experience is this mostly between men and generally not as common as it used to be. My dad is called by his surname by some of his high school pals and call some of them by surname when he's around them (but not in reference to them if he's talking to me). Thinking back to my high school days in the late 00's I can only remember athletes being called by their last name. Perhaps because of football or sports that y…

There's also the "when you say Mr. lastname, I turn around and look for my father" type of responses when using someone's last name.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#223

Post by DiggyJohnson »

mensetmanusman wrote: post #151
bambax wrote: post #6

> The younger person also addresses the older person, usually with a title or another word that fits their relationship, but not their name. Only the older person addresses the younger one with their name. (There can be more nuance.) I love this. I'm an old French guy and still can't quite accept when srangers in an email (or a machine, a system, a web form) adress me using my first name. Being "on a first name basis…

Now that I know that every culture approaches this differently, it takes zero effort to not be annoyed when someone does something different than what I expect.

Your comments boggles me. You understand their point and immediately misapply that understanding.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#224

Post by DiggyJohnson »

dpifke wrote: post #213
sfifs wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I find addressing people by surname uniquely stupid. Like are you calling the person or the historical clan? It perhaps made sense for medieval lords to address their underlings as if they were interchangeable, in our modern context that has largely done away with royalty, using surnames makes no sense. It becomes even more interesting when traditionally cultures (like mine) don't use surnames, but modern IT sys…

I have a very common first name (Dave) and a very uncommon last name (Pifke, pronounced PIF-key). The majority of my close friends call me by my last name, since there are several other Daves and Davids in our friend group. My brother's friends do likewise, since his first name is Mike and he runs with a bunch of other Mikes and Michaels. There's a naming collision when my brother and I hang out together, but since w…

Same. I work with a girl with first name Emily last name rhymes with “Wacky”. The latter is so much for fun to say and avoids collisions.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#225

Post by DiggyJohnson »

encom wrote: post #221
umbra07 wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It seems sort of like calling other people ma'am and sir in America. Everyone knows what those words mean, but younger people will almost never use them (except in specific American subcultures). Some people may be offended if you call them sir/ma'am.

The YouTube algorithm has seen fit to serve me a bunch of American police bodycam videos lately. I find it super bizarre that a policeman will address everyone as sir. Including some deranged crackhead, without pants, charging at him with a sword. Decidedly not a "sir". In Denmark nobody adresses each other formally, unless you're royalty. Parliament also does it during debates, but that's pretty much it. It's weird…

US English doesn’t really have an informal version of “sir” for the situation you described. Closest would be “hey” or “yo” etc. but those aren’t even (pro)nouns.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#226

Post by dzhiurgis »

bambax wrote: post #6

> The younger person also addresses the older person, usually with a title or another word that fits their relationship, but not their name. Only the older person addresses the younger one with their name. (There can be more nuance.) I love this. I'm an old French guy and still can't quite accept when srangers in an email (or a machine, a system, a web form) adress me using my first name. Being "on a first name basis…

I'm Lithuanian but lived over 15 years (near half my lifetime) in UK and NZ.

I love the informality and my brain struggles a bit when I speak Lithuanian, esp when I know I should be using formal addressing, but I'm not sure I want to.

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#227

Post by bityard »

xenadu02 wrote: post #210

In the USA as a low-level employee address the company CEO as "heya phil, hows it going?". Then address your friend with "Hello Mr. Smith". In most cases you won't get a positive reaction out of either one of those (yes exceptions exist). How about this: address your husband/wife as "Mr/Mrs ", especially after a fight. Similarly when the kids have been doing something or you are frustrated with your partner say " you…

I could be off-base here because I've been in tech too long but my understanding was that addressing people formally as Mr/Mrs/Ms has been outmoded in business virtually everywhere except in legal matters and (sometimes) when you work for a company and are speaking directly to one of your customers.

Everywhere I've been and observed, it's always been, "Good Morning, " or similar regardless of who is talking to who on the org chart. (This doesn't mean you should talk like a surfer dude, of course.)

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#228

Post by bityard »

90s_dev wrote: post #220
xenadu02 wrote: post #210

In the USA as a low-level employee address the company CEO as "heya phil, hows it going?". Then address your friend with "Hello Mr. Smith". In most cases you won't get a positive reaction out of either one of those (yes exceptions exist). How about this: address your husband/wife as "Mr/Mrs ", especially after a fight. Similarly when the kids have been doing something or you are frustrated with your partner say " you…

Unless you work for Conan O'Brien. A fan saw him and briefly chatted, then Conan asked if he wanted a photo. The man said "sure, Mr. O'Brien," to which Conan replied, "please, call me sir ."

Coming from a comedian, is there any possibility that was a joke?

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#229

Post by fxtentacle »

joshdavham wrote: post #211

How does this generally work with romantic relationships? Do people usually only start relationships if they are of the same age?

Typically the girl will pretend the guy to be older, if that isn't the case. That's why girls in movies and K-Pop groups always shout "Oppa!".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwmSjveL3Lc

And you might remember the Oppa that is Gangnam Style:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0

Re: Why Koreans ask what year you were born

#230

Post by anal_reactor »

skygazer wrote: post #157
anal_reactor wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Do you frequently tell you mom, dad, brothers, children and in laws about your sex life? Yes.

Do you find they look at you the same way your CEO did? If not, you apparently have unusually "special" relationships.

Sometimes. Those who don't usually also enjoy hearing me in a much more relaxed tone, whereas those who do end up perceiving me through the lens of much more official language. I still fail to see what's so absurd about this.

Do you... literally talk to your boss the same way you talk to your best friend?

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