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If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

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Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#241

Post by 77pt77 »

itsoktocry wrote: post #220
bravesoul2 wrote: post #11

I have always been useful not valued, worked at 8 or more places. Only people who value me are family. Businesses don't. You find out pretty quick: suddenly on PIP, or get bullied thereafter because you phrased something slightly off in a Jira comment. If I can get paid and treated OK, I see that as good. Don't put stock in business relationships. Try to have good ones but put stock in ... assets, family, health, etc…

> Don't put stock in business relationships. If this is your mentality, is it any wonder you aren't valued? People post things like this and I'm not sure they have any emotional intelligence whatsoever. Sure, your work/job doesn't have to be your entire life. But what about a little pride in what you're doing? Working with smart people towards a goal to do something useful? If your mentality is "just show up for work…

Has it ever occurred to you that you have it backwards?

He has this mentality because he has never been valued, not the other way around.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#242

Post by thijson »

bawana wrote: post #54

I am a physician. I am useful because i can remove kidney stones and relieve the awful pain people find themselves in. My value however continues to decline as the monopolistic practices of insurers and hospital systems (who are now starting their own insurances) has reduced my reimbursement to less than that of a plumber. The money that used to go to workers now goes to the c suite. Ironically they were nonexistent…

I think a lot of what middle management does may be replaced by AI, leading to flatter organizations. You probably have better insight into this than me, but I feel that the initial briefing with a patient may be done by an AI as well, saving the doctor time.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#244

Post by BonoboIO »

mboto wrote: post #62

What is also useful to keep in mind is the tendency to recreate your primary family life in the workplace. So if you had critical controlling parents who never valued you and everything you ever did was worthless, then you'll tend to select for those places and it is often done outside of awareness. Was your primary family spent being valued and appreciated? Then you'll select for that and when people start to not va…

Interesting, never thought of that that we even recreate family in our workplaces.

My therapist said one sentence to me that stuck „… you are marrying your parents“

Like you seek a partner that has similarities to your mother or father. I see that very often with friends.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#245

Post by pixl97 »

zwnow wrote: post #59
apwell23 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

thats what they want too if you bring even a tiny bit of your spunk, enthusiasm and passion to work you;d be labeled a problem immediately. They want apathetic mindless drones.

Which is the correct approach for enterprises with tons of employees. Humans are never happy once they reach groups of certain sizes. Can only handle projects with certain sizes with apathy. Initiative may be looked for in smaller environments.

Ah the joys of the MonkeySphere.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#246

Post by asielen »

Swizec wrote: post #210
eitally wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I actually don't agree, but I'm open to being convinced otherwise. I posit that there's an employer expectation that every employee will be "useful", but utility is a fungible characteristic and the majority of managers and employers treat job descriptions of standardized roles just like that. Employees in those roles are susceptible to both replacement and career advancement, depending how "useful" they are, and how…

> Lots of fresh grads and junior staff focus 99% on being useful, but career advancement beyond the first one or two promotions depends MUCH more on being valued. “People don’t remember who went to grab drinks on a Tuesday, but they’ll remember who helped them close a million dollar deal and get a huge bonus” Give your coworkers superpowers and opportunities will flow.

"People don’t remember who went to grab drinks on a Tuesday, but they’ll remember who helped them close a million dollar deal and get a huge bonus”

Outside of sales and senior leadership I don't agree with this statement. Maybe it is just because I've reached a time in my life where I could care less about the hustle and just want a job where it can solve interesting problems for no more than 8 hours a day. And then get home to my family.

For ladder climbers sure, but at some point relationships are more important than dollars. (As long as you have a enough to live of course).

And if you are struggling to make ends meet and you get a pat on a back for deal support, that feels more exploitive than anything else. Yay, I helped make someone else money.

Being a highly productive, easy to work with, solution oriented coworker is a super power in it's own right.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#247

Post by naikrovek »

gadders wrote: post #188
naikrovek wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> does good work without self-marketing I kinda feel called out. My work should speak for itself. It often does, but I will always forget it when it comes time to speak of myself nicely. I simply do not care to self-promote. It feels vain and vanity is one of the most useless things possible to me. Donald Trump is about 98% vanity, if you want to see what vanity is. Not being able to actually cite the things I’ve don…

I am bad at this as well. I think part of it is to do with my upbringing as a poor, smart kid at a bad school. The way to be well thought of by teachers was to not cause a fuss and get good grades whilst the teachers concentrated on the disruptive kids. I shudder at the thought of becoming one of those gobshites that asks senior management questions in townhalls like "How do you stay so grounded with all the awesome…

I've tried the brag document but I just can't do it. "ooh look at me, so special" i hate that crap.

I don't need 10x my salary, I just want to feel valued by my team. I have never felt that in my entire life, even though team members often mention that I save their bacon repeatedly in team meetings with supervisors. it's like no one hears it.

unless i change who i am as a person i will never be valued at work. it's just that simple. I won't play the vanity game solely for money. I won't do anything solely for money. I just want to feel valued and I don't think that is possible for me. I'm just not wired to feel that. So fuck me I guess. "you don't fit the mold kid, so you can go fly a kite"

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#248

Post by pixl97 »

einpoklum wrote: post #143
austin-cheney wrote: post #66

This is far more simple than it sounds. Do what others cannot to deliver success to the internal goals of the business. It is always more about capabilities and delivery and it’s never really about hard work. These capabilities can include authoring new tools but most often are soft skills and better written communication. Many people will fail at this because they cannot perform or independently determine their own…

> Simple... Do what others cannot to deliver success to the internal goals of the business. This is not simple at all: 1. The "things which others cannot" are, typically, not the tasks you are given. So you would be neglecting the work you've been actually given to work on other things which you believe are important. 2. Things which people can't do are typically considered as irrelevant-to-do, and thus not a goal. W…

And the big one...

-3. Other people (mostly above you) will steal your glory and call it their own.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#249

Post by [deleted] »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #114

I feel like "useful" and "valued" are very poor terms for the situations described in the article. I think a much better explanation is that just because you may excel in one role (and be recognized as such) does not necessarily mean you'll excel in another role. And heck, I think it's important to recognize these qualities and limitations in yourself . Calling this being "useful" or "valued" puts an emotional/moral…

[deleted]
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