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If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

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Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#171

Post by rokhayakebe »

Disposal8433 wrote: post #69
bravesoul2 wrote: post #11

I have always been useful not valued, worked at 8 or more places. Only people who value me are family. Businesses don't. You find out pretty quick: suddenly on PIP, or get bullied thereafter because you phrased something slightly off in a Jira comment. If I can get paid and treated OK, I see that as good. Don't put stock in business relationships. Try to have good ones but put stock in ... assets, family, health, etc…

I have the same experience. Multiple companies with a crazy manager that bullied and insulted employees. The bosses never do anything because the manager is always right. At my last job I was the only developer who knew bash and Linux. I handled everything until a new CTO came and destroyed the servers with his lack of technical knowledge. I was critically useful to the company until I broke down due to the daily har…

They still did not value you in the end. That was just manipulation to get you to stay.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#172

Post by ricardobayes »

mboto wrote: post #62

What is also useful to keep in mind is the tendency to recreate your primary family life in the workplace. So if you had critical controlling parents who never valued you and everything you ever did was worthless, then you'll tend to select for those places and it is often done outside of awareness. Was your primary family spent being valued and appreciated? Then you'll select for that and when people start to not va…

Incredible comment, thank you. I can't believe I read this for free. This is probably years of distilled behavior science applied to a workplace-specific environment.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#174

Post by firesteelrain »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #114

I feel like "useful" and "valued" are very poor terms for the situations described in the article. I think a much better explanation is that just because you may excel in one role (and be recognized as such) does not necessarily mean you'll excel in another role. And heck, I think it's important to recognize these qualities and limitations in yourself . Calling this being "useful" or "valued" puts an emotional/moral…

"Just look at lots of the recent tech layoffs that have snared well-respected, senior technologists. Apparently they were "valued", until they weren't"

You are actually agreeing with the author here. Rephrase that to "Apparently they were useful, until they weren't"

They weren't valued.

I think the author is apt in their observation.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#175

Post by rokhayakebe »

ionwake wrote: post #60
47282847 wrote: post #46

“ I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental cla…

I worked as a small elite unit in a world leading airline, team of about 5 poeple that went down to basically 1 ( after I was finally labelled as "difficult to work with" - ( I actually was always quiet calm friendly used to working in critical teams and worked basically close to 12 hour days. Eventually a deadline was missed and "someone had to be blamed". Having worked in countless companies I was ready for this an…

I am in my mid forties. I have always walked away the moment I have been yelled at any job. Each time I have done this I had zero dollars in the bank. That is a privilege I give to my family, and they don't even use it. If it is a big organization walk straight to HR or go home and call a lawyer.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#176

Post by rokhayakebe »

ronbenton wrote: post #23
apples_oranges wrote: post #21

According to this definition, being involved more, I'd rather be useful than valued. Like Socrates who went to the market to see what things he doesn't need, I cherish each meeting I am not invited to. It's a blessing. As long as the pay is good (or better) than in the "valued" path, useful is better. Exception: I have equity and the decisions made are bad.

With all the layoffs happening in my company, I’ll take at least a bit of being valued right now

Side hustle. Sidelancing.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#177

Post by 77pt77 »

If you are useful but not valued all that creates is extreme resentment.

Competence, especially when objective and irrefutable but not accompanied by what are assumed to be mandatory associated traits (see halo effect) is seen as an affront to nature and creates a very intense sense of dissonance and injustice that prompts corrective measures, usually in the form of scapegoating.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#178

Post by red_admiral »

simianwords wrote: post #53
red_admiral wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I presume there is said opportunity, after all that's what company-hired "headhunters" are for. But you also need to find people who are useful, undervalued (in the sense of the article, not in the sense of pay), and who are also willing to take the risk of jumping into a new environment even if that's uncomfortable at first. That means they need somehow to check that they'll be really valued at the new place, not ju…

If they are not risk taking they are not valuable.

Depends how safety-critical the system is? If you're one of the few that can maintain an old aircraft, medical equipment, COBOL software for a nuclear power plant etc.- then you don't want risk-takers, you want steady hands that keep your system running.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#179

Post by naikrovek »

gen220 wrote: post #142
naikrovek wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> does good work without self-marketing I kinda feel called out. My work should speak for itself. It often does, but I will always forget it when it comes time to speak of myself nicely. I simply do not care to self-promote. It feels vain and vanity is one of the most useless things possible to me. Donald Trump is about 98% vanity, if you want to see what vanity is. Not being able to actually cite the things I’ve don…

Hey, I've been where you are. > because I don’t self-promote, people who can’t shut up about themselves get promoted beyond me You need to re-frame this problem, so it's not about "self-promotion", and instead is about proactively forecasting the needs (as you put it) of your manager , not just the technical system you're managing. If you view it as part of your job to document (not promote, just document) the work y…

how can i understand what my manager needs if i don't know what he does?

I have no idea what managers do, and I can't ever get an answer when I ask what managers do. "oh, all kinds of stuff." gosh, thanks. it's so clear, now.

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