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If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

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Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#81

Post by gadders »

47282847 wrote: post #46

“ I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental cla…

It's almost like you could create a 2 x 2 matrix of Useful Vs Valued

- Not Useful, Not Valued: Get good or change jobs/industries.

- Not Useful, Valued: talks a good game (or is doing useful stuff that is not apparent)

-Useful, Not Valued: Could be useful at non-strategic stuff, or does good work without self-marketing, or has bad management and needs to leave.

- Useful, Valued: Ideal situation.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#82

Post by dakiol »

Disposal8433 wrote: post #69
bravesoul2 wrote: post #11

I have always been useful not valued, worked at 8 or more places. Only people who value me are family. Businesses don't. You find out pretty quick: suddenly on PIP, or get bullied thereafter because you phrased something slightly off in a Jira comment. If I can get paid and treated OK, I see that as good. Don't put stock in business relationships. Try to have good ones but put stock in ... assets, family, health, etc…

I have the same experience. Multiple companies with a crazy manager that bullied and insulted employees. The bosses never do anything because the manager is always right. At my last job I was the only developer who knew bash and Linux. I handled everything until a new CTO came and destroyed the servers with his lack of technical knowledge. I was critically useful to the company until I broke down due to the daily har…

> At my last job I was the only developer who knew bash and Linux.

Where or how so you find such jobs/companies? Whenever I interview for non faang companies I’ve been asked things like the cap theorem, concurrency issues, microservice patterns, ddd, and of course on top of that the live coding and systems design interviews.

For once, I’d like to join a company in which I seem to bring something only I know.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#84

Post by GuB-42 »

I seems that there are different meanings to "valued".

Here how the article defines it:

> Being valued, on the other hand, means that you are brought into more conversations, not just to execute, but to help shape the direction. This comes with opportunities to grow and contribute in ways that are meaningful to you and the business.

But I would say that in a business setting, the definition of being valued is usually much less abstract, it just means you are worth money, the value here is a dollar amount.

Being valued this way doesn't mean that you will be given opportunities to grow, but it means that there is a good chance you won't be laid off, and that they will listen to your requests as an employee, because they consider that by losing you, they are going to lose money (that is, your value).

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#85

Post by 47282847 »

im3w1l wrote: post #78
mboto wrote: post #62

What is also useful to keep in mind is the tendency to recreate your primary family life in the workplace. So if you had critical controlling parents who never valued you and everything you ever did was worthless, then you'll tend to select for those places and it is often done outside of awareness. Was your primary family spent being valued and appreciated? Then you'll select for that and when people start to not va…

This is interesting. I could imagine that it's not exactly that you are selecting for the same dysfunction. Maybe it's rather that you don't know what functional looks like, and therefore can't as easily find a place that fits or steer your current place in the right dirrection?

Our organism’s primary goal is survival. Unknown territory will feel unsafe and thus stressful, up to the point of unreal, even if on a rational level it may actually be safer. It takes courage to face and calm those fears without consciously or unconsciously returning to known survival strategies - and meta cognition skills to sufficiently distance yourself from those past emotional memories. After all, they allowed you to survive.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#86

Post by bravetraveler »

dedicate wrote: post #13

Isn't being incredibly useful actually a pretty solid way to be valued, especially in the trenches? Maybe 'useful' is just 'valued' in work boots instead of a fancy suit.

Speaking from experience... it's hard to tell. Yes, but also: no. I know 'useful' is employable.

I have been more easily valued for my 'use' by being easier to manipulate. Or, sorry, felt more open/safe. Money spends the same: barely, too much work.

Layoffs? To quote Janet Jackson: 'what have you done for me lately?'

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#87

Post by steveBK123 »

gadders wrote: post #81
47282847 wrote: post #46

“ I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental cla…

It's almost like you could create a 2 x 2 matrix of Useful Vs Valued - Not Useful, Not Valued: Get good or change jobs/industries. - Not Useful, Valued: talks a good game (or is doing useful stuff that is not apparent) -Useful, Not Valued: Could be useful at non-strategic stuff, or does good work without self-marketing, or has bad management and needs to leave. - Useful, Valued: Ideal situation.

Some of these may also work in different life stages. Want reasonable job security & compensation but currently pursuing a masters / raising an infant / dealing with elderly parental care - "useful&not valued" may not be so bad for a few years.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#88

Post by dakiol »

bloop0 wrote: post #74

Ah yes, the eternal quest for "feeling valued" at work — as if we're all in a corporate therapy session instead of just here to solve problems, get paid, and go home. American companies love inventing emotional debt as a substitute for job security. Maybe next time I get laid off, they’ll throw in a heartfelt Slack emoji to ease the blow.

If we can’t fantasize at something that’s supposed to take a third of our day to day, man, that’s depressing. I do understand that we need to be practical and do the job and get paid, but at some point one wakes up and wonders what the hell is one living for. Work is usually the last thing on my list, but I quickly wake up again and lick mister dollar’s ass because I need money for food. You can manage to twist the meaning of the situation and feel good with yourself, but we are slaves, modern slaves.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#89

Post by matwood »

dinetrimr wrote: post #50

I used to recognize this at my last job, pay was good but left searching for other opportunities where I felt valued in a team. Two years later and I've about burned through all my savings looking for any job at all. Seems like current market has decided my skills and connections are not enough. Fixing to just uber or something next month out of desperation. I used to make six figures. Turns out I decided to quit at…

> where I felt valued in a team.

To quote Don Draper, “that’s what the money is for!” Find your meaning or value somewhere else not in your job and it will both be longer lasting and likely much deeper.

Re: If you are useful, it doesn't mean you are valued

#90

Post by k3vinw »

This hits close to home after recently being laid off.

I believe in making yourself invaluable, but would caution against falling into a niche. Especially if you want to avoid getting caught up in a layoff. But as long as you have valuable skills you will be able to find other work. Some companies are better at hiring (talent acquisition) than others.

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