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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
231–240 of 728 posts
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#232This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…
It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…
Why didn't they start Women's Sheds?
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#233In my 30s I found myself slipping into the chasm of loneliness. It was particularly difficult for me because I had been in the Army for 10 years and was used to having many male friends I was extremely close with. All I was doing on the weekends was sitting on the couch and I hate sitting on the couch. I decided to fight it by focusing on three aspects of my personality and finding activities that suited them. First…
Can you share any of your star photos?
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#234[flagged]
>>I am literally batting social opportunities away due to lack of time and resources.
That is exactly what the "male loneliness epidemic" is though, no? I don't know what definition you are using, but to me it's definitely the fact that we just don't have the time to go out and be social among other things, not that there aren't opportunities in the first place.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#235Sometimes I wish we could have "gentlemen's clubs" of the sort that existed in Victorian Britain (not the US strip club version), third-spaces where one could go to read or converse or play cards with other men or even have a meal or a drink. Having social space that's limited to a set of people one knows, more or less, and that has rules on behavior seems like a civilizing influence that's missing today.
I recommend everyone watch the series Lodge 49. It's free to watch with ads now. Not only is a great show that touches on relationships and loneliness and modern alienation with a touch of magical realism and esoterica and alchemy but it focuses on a fraternal (in name only, women are members) order that your grandfather might have been a member of but have disappeared due to rising individualism, rising rents and di…
Soho House is pretty much the opposite of a high end exclusive club these days.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#236Earlier quoted context omitted.
Appreciate the thoughts - totally agree on those issues, but I don't think the problem is insurmountable. There is a real - albeit latent, maybe - demand for deep friendship and male-only spaces. Everyone recognizes it's an issue, at the very least, and is being more vocal about it in the face of the dramatic enshittification of the internet over the last few years. It just takes too much self-discipline to break out…
> deep friendship and male-only spaces. Gun ranges?
Too loud
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#237Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are male only country clubs legal?
Why do they need to be male-only to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others? I say this as a former dude who has spent the vast, vast, vast majority of my life as a man, socializing with men and not-men, in public. I have never had a single issue.
They don't, and no one is stopping you from opening a gender neutral club.
> offensive to others
Sound like you have issues. It's a club. They meet up to play board games. Maybe you could start a club of people who are offended by everything.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#238Earlier quoted context omitted.
They need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this
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No, because homosexual men tend not to compete with men for women’s attention.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#239Earlier quoted context omitted.
Really? Back in my day, there were all sorts of nerd groups, which were often plagued with horrible social dysfunction.[0] People just muddled through. [0] https://plausiblydeniable.com/five-geek-social-fallacies/
In my experience people do not just muddle through anymore. I don't want to speculate about why that might be, but I have seen so many weird behaviour explosions at these sorts of events myself that leads to people being ostracized
I could speculate, it was partially because of that blog post. The more social nerds are encouraged to cast out the antisocial stinky ones. Instead of a whisper campaign, there's a social media ejection.
(Nerds in particular have been lured into fake socializing with fake friends on a discord or something. I've seen this where someone disappears and it's like "i dunno, maybe he got busy with life". None of their 'friends' really care if he's dead or not, because if he really did get "get busy", that is an indictment on them.)
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#240I think a lot of this boils down to the fact that most men are too insecure to engage with each other meaningfully. This causes them to appear overly competitive, or uninterested. How many times have you spoken to another man that can't stop trying to one-up you, or cannot be bothered to ask you a single question? That's the majority of my interactions with other men.