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Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

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Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#1

Post by leeroihe »

I recently spent the past six months working on a startup. We had a fair bit of momentum coming out of a well known accelerator and an idea with traction, but unfortunately the money just didn't quite show up for the seed. At 30, doing this without pay (and expenses covered) seemed like an ok idea, at least for a few months. But at this point I'm kind of done.

Co-founder didn't understand why I wasn't interested working without salary anymore... there were other signs the relationship had broken down etc. Planning on letting him know I'm out near the end of this week.

I started interviewing when these feelings started to get to me and... the VC from the accelerator ratted to my co-founder that they'd "heard from recruiters". This was effectively the most unprofessional breach of privacy I've ever experienced and as a result I think I'm done working in software (don't even ask me my opinion of SF).

I've been doing this six years, clearly I'm not good enough (tech screens these days are ridiculous) and even as a founder of multiple previous companies (with one exit) and lots of SWE experience I'm no longer attractive for roles that pay well. I've come to realize I don't really even enjoy programming or prepping for interviews - it all feels grating and makes me feel like an idiot.

That said, I have no idea what to do next and feel inexplicably lost. My age doesn't help this, but I'm fully drawing a blank. I don't really have money to go to grad school and it appears that dev roles are just getting more competitive. Maybe I was an ok engineer for a while, but I just feel lost and scared.

At 30 I don't care about clout anymore, most of my friends make way more money than me or have families. Being an adult here seems like acknowledging doing startups is maybe the dumbest thing I could've done with my life.

This probably sounds like a lot, but it's the first time I've run up against this many things going wrong in my life at once. Anyone else pivot away from tech and still make half-decent income?

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#2

Post by sherdil2022 »

All I can say is you are not alone. When I read this, almost all you say resonates with me - and there is no privacy, especially in startups. I learnt it the hard way too.

Please don't think you are not good enough. The interviewing process is just ridiculous and illogical (for an industry that deals with logic all the time!).

I don't have any answers - since I am also in the current state. And I also found out that no one has any answers - everyone is probably lost in some way or another.

Take some time off if you can. And if you have the luxury, don't think about anything else for a while.

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#4

Post by altairprime »

Consider become an auditor who audits the sort of work you no longer wish to perform. You’re uniquely equipped to audit it, whether that lies in forensic, privacy, security, financial, compliance auditing. And your cynicism with the field will help temper your natural bias as ex-SWE to give excess credence to SWE claims.

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#5

Post by 90s_dev »

Hmm.

1. Get a job that pays the bills for starters, doesn't have to be fancy or pay much, just enough that you don't become homeless.

2. Do something in your spare time that you're interested, just for fun, with no expectations or even plans of making money from it.

3. You will profit in a way you couldn't possibly plan or predict. Or maybe not. But probably. Either way, you're not homeless or starving.

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#6

Post by 90s_dev »

johnea wrote: post #3

At 30, you're still young! If I was starting today, rather than an electrical engineering degree, I'd choose a trade: probably electrician, or plumber. I know a few kids working for themselves in these trades and they are in unceasing demand.

John's right, guys.

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#7

Post by shoo »

That breach of privacy from the recruiter sounds extremely frustrating. but i'd suggest still looking for paid SWE work in the short term, so you have a way to pay the bills and save some money, until you figure out what your next plan is.

If you've founded multiple companies previously, can you reach out to your network and see if there's a former client / colleague you could help with consulting or contract work, using your skills and some of your existing domain specific knowledge?

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#8

Post by msgodel »

I saw things beginning to rapidly deteriorate years ago, checked out, and focused on being able to live on very little. I've got land, 10-20 years worth of savings, and a small shack. I think I'm just going to monetize side projects for the next few years and maybe try the truck farming thing.

Formal collaboration depends on a culture that's more or less dead now. I wouldn't bet my future on it getting sorted out.

Re: Ask HN: Decided I no longer want to be a SWE – what next?

#10

Post by taylorallred »

Not all SWE jobs have the same culture and there's work outside of silicon valley. That said, it sounds like you've decided that this isn't for you anymore so what is? What's something that makes you excited or you find yourself thinking about a lot. There's a lot of other opportunities out there, and you should feel proud of the experiences you had and mistakes you made. Don't worry about what others think and go find another chapter to start. (That said, you may need to accept a lower salary for a while.)
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