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Things I do to be consistently happy

joel.is

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Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#71

Post by dhimes »

chii wrote: post #66
dhimes wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Forgive me if I've said it here before, but I believe that there are "spiritual" geniuses in the same way there are literary, musical, and mathematical geniuses. I believe these folks (like Jesus and the Buddha) are exquisitely tuned in to what makes humans happy. I don't believe in God (or god, or the FSM), but I do believe that there are certain 'truths' that resonate with mentally healthy humans, and these folks h…

but happiness and pleasure is intimately intertwined - they have to be, because stimulating the pleasure centre was one of the methods that the primitive part of the brain controls behaviour (e.g., you find eating fatty, high energy food pleasurable, because thats the kind of food that's valuable to eat back when this mechanic was evolved). Happiness is indeed simply a state of mind, but some people can't reach that…

I think you answered your own question: these things, although pleasurable, don't lead to happiness. The confusion of which you write is the cause of much unhappiness.

Am I happy that I ate too much fatty, high energy food? No. Did I find them pleasurable? Yes. Are drunks happy? Usually not, as their lives become messes. Do they find getting drunk pleasurable? Yes. But it's the fact that they can't tell the difference between pleasure and happiness that ultimately leads to their pain (assuming they aren't genetically doomed to develop the disease). Those who forego responsibility to engage in sensual pleasures too often end up very unhappy.

EDIT: Type to -> too in last sentence

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#72

Post by adriand »

shawnz wrote: post #63
adriand wrote: post #50

I find it somewhat interesting how often people profess that their key to happiness essentially boils down to living the sort of "good life" that in many ways is the Christian ideal, regardless of whether or not they are personally religious. Although there are habits and rituals that can lead to a more positive outlook, such as exercising regularly, there are deeper aspects to this way of life. This includes helping…

> essentially boils down to [...] the Christian ideal Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. To me, it makes perfect sense that any given life philosophy will align with the general tenets of most religions; they wouldn't have stuck around if they made pe…

> Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves.

I'd like to clarify that I see a difference between the so-called Christian "way of life" and the Christian "way of thinking". The activities and behaviours (e.g. hard work, fair dealing, etc.) of the Christian way of life may lead to happiness, but the thoughts and mindset of the Christian way of thinking may not (e.g. guilt over over normal sexual desires).

In fact, I think that many religions, and this especially goes for more severe, "by the book" versions of Christianity, actually make people much less content with themselves, but they carry on spreading themselves in spite of (or because of) this anyway.

What I think is interesting, though, is the effectiveness of certain behaviours as a means of achieving happiness, and what that means for the course of human civilization. Perhaps it is the case that (most) humans need to work in order to be happy. What does this mean when we arrive at a level of technological sophistication that makes work unnecessary?

In fact, it is possible in Western societies not to work and to still enjoy a level of comfort that is higher than that achievable by someone who was working 12 hour days 150 years ago. However, doing this is frowned upon. Why? Is it because not working is fundamentally incompatible with the "good life" and by extension, happiness?

And is it the case that treating others fairly and honestly is genuinely an integral part of achieving happiness, quite aside from the fact that not doing so might lead to negative consequences for oneself? Or is that just something learned?

Is it actually impossible to live a happy, contented life that is characterized by indolence and a total disregard for the feelings and property of others, or is that just something we must all believe or civilization will just fall apart?

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#73

Post by Volpe »

shawnz wrote: post #63
adriand wrote: post #50

I find it somewhat interesting how often people profess that their key to happiness essentially boils down to living the sort of "good life" that in many ways is the Christian ideal, regardless of whether or not they are personally religious. Although there are habits and rituals that can lead to a more positive outlook, such as exercising regularly, there are deeper aspects to this way of life. This includes helping…

> essentially boils down to [...] the Christian ideal Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. To me, it makes perfect sense that any given life philosophy will align with the general tenets of most religions; they wouldn't have stuck around if they made pe…

I don't know, catholicism and scientology make a point of making you feel unsatisfied...

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#74

Post by Ixiaus »

adriand wrote: post #50

I find it somewhat interesting how often people profess that their key to happiness essentially boils down to living the sort of "good life" that in many ways is the Christian ideal, regardless of whether or not they are personally religious. Although there are habits and rituals that can lead to a more positive outlook, such as exercising regularly, there are deeper aspects to this way of life. This includes helping…

Honestly, I think Aristotle said it before religion did; I'm sure someone did before him too...

On the happiness bit - regardless of lifestyle I've noticed it's my mental disposition. Clear heads prevail...in everything (including programming).

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#75

Post by shawnz »

adriand wrote: post #72
shawnz wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> essentially boils down to [...] the Christian ideal Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. To me, it makes perfect sense that any given life philosophy will align with the general tenets of most religions; they wouldn't have stuck around if they made pe…

> Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. I'd like to clarify that I see a difference between the so-called Christian "way of life" and the Christian "way of thinking". The activities and behaviours (e.g. hard work, fair dealing, etc.) of the Christian way…

> In fact, I think that many religions, and this especially goes for more severe, "by the book" versions of Christianity, actually make people much less content with themselves, but they carry on spreading themselves in spite of (or because of) this anyway.

I think this takes a very special type of person, though. Perhaps these peoples' "happiness" is self-sacrifice. Beyond that, I have no explanation.

> Perhaps it is the case that (most) humans need to work in order to be happy. What does this mean when we arrive at a level of technological sophistication that makes work unnecessary?

I believe this is true, and I truly fear what will happen when this becomes a concern (assuming it isn't already!) However, I suspect we'll simply create ever more layers of bureaucracy to envelope ourselves in, avoiding the problem indefinitely.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#76

Post by kulkarnic »

nostromo wrote: post #17

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

Life is about living.

And everything else is ways to optimize that. Sure, self-help that distracts from living could make people miserable. Good self-help OTOH is meant to be heuristics for this optimization.

Personally, I've found wake-up-early and multiple-ways-to-win to be fulfilling: and even if I know the physiological reasons behind the second one, it still remains helpful. I feel the way to win is to actually self-help: find heuristics that work for you and make them a habit.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#77

Post by mingmecca »

I strive for consistent happiness, yet it remains elusive despite my best efforts. I do a number of the things mentioned in the article but they only get me halfway there because I live in an area of the USA that doesn't get enough light most of the year - the Pacific Northwest. Low level clouds completely sap the energy from me and a number of people here, and it is not something that one has much control over.

I'm no stranger to light boxes, vitamin D, fish-oil,and anti-depressants, but there is nothing like a bright, sunny day to get my mood up. Unfortunately I can't summon those types of days by sheer force of will.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#78

Post by tlogan »

One thing which I noticed (and I'm sad because that seems to be trend for a new generation) that none of 6 things is related to family and friends. Something like having sex (directly correlated with happiness), drinking with friends, small rituals like morning coffee with your spouse, hanging out with kids, etc.

In other words, I doubt that these 6 things will make anybody happy if there is no family and partner next to you. These 6 points are very important to ensure that you are not stressed out - but not really happy.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#79

Post by blvr »

adriand wrote: post #72
shawnz wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> essentially boils down to [...] the Christian ideal Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. To me, it makes perfect sense that any given life philosophy will align with the general tenets of most religions; they wouldn't have stuck around if they made pe…

> Why is this unexpected? From my nonreligious standpoint, I see Christianity (and indeed, most religions) as a device created specifically for this reason -- to allow people to be content with themselves. I'd like to clarify that I see a difference between the so-called Christian "way of life" and the Christian "way of thinking". The activities and behaviours (e.g. hard work, fair dealing, etc.) of the Christian way…

>>> I'd like to clarify that I see a difference between the so-called Christian "way of life" and the Christian "way of thinking". The activities and behaviours (e.g. hard work, fair dealing, etc.) of the Christian way of life may lead to happiness, but the thoughts and mindset of the Christian way of thinking may not (e.g. guilt over over normal sexual desires).

>>> In fact, I think that many religions, and this especially goes for more severe, "by the book" versions of Christianity, actually make people much less content with themselves, but they carry on spreading themselves in spite of (or because of) this anyway.

Just curious what your exposure to Christianity is?

Reason being is that I've gone from a secular background to belonging to a very devout church and in my experience Christians are much happier. Sexual self-denial isn't a problem and it seems that if anything it leads to happiness, considering the amount of personal problems indulging every sexual desire causes.

>>> Perhaps it is the case that (most) humans need to work in order to be happy. What does this mean when we arrive at a level of technological sophistication that makes work unnecessary?

If we do ;-)

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#80

Post by kami8845 »

larrys wrote: post #42

One thing that I am impressed with is that Joel (OP) is good at following advice. About 7 days ago I commented that I thought his post was inappropriately named (I took issue with Joel using "How to name your startup" rather than "my experience with how I named my startup" (because of what I felt was his limited experience in this area). http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4371318 On this post he titles correctly "6…

I think you're overestimating your involvement in the naming of this blogpost.
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