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Things I do to be consistently happy

joel.is

41–50 of 117 posts

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#41
post #3

I'm curious how many programmers find themselves most productive at specific times of the day. Personally, I'm by far the most productive late at night, in 1am - 4am territory. The primary reason is that there are fewer distractions. The news cycle has slowed, my FB news feed is all but dead, I'm not receiving any emails/calls/chats, my roommates are asleep, and it's too late to accomplish chores like shopping or doi…

I always find that I'm most productive at work after 11am or so. At home, most productive after 9pm (about when my kid goes to sleep)

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#42
One thing that I am impressed with is that Joel (OP) is good at following advice.

About 7 days ago I commented that I thought his post was inappropriately named (I took issue with Joel using "How to name your startup" rather than "my experience with how I named my startup" (because of what I felt was his limited experience in this area).

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4371318

On this post he titles correctly "6 Things I do to be consistently happy".

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#43

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

"I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy."

I don't think the OP is doing what you imply he is doing. He is merely listing things he does that work for him.

And some of the things listed I agree with and do (sleep, exercise) but getting up early and going to bed early is not.

"the people most into self-help books"

From my personal experience I would agree with this. There is something wrong and it appears they are searching for answers. People who are already happy don't need these answers, and if not a subject which you want to find out about because of curiosity there isn't much of a reason to read those books.

Related, on things that I am really good at I tend not to want to read any books, lest what I read alters my thinking as far as what already works for me (might put doubt into my head).

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#44
I think there exists a terrible confusion about emotions in general fueled by pop culture. People should understand that emotions are just a form of motivation and not something magical. Unpleasant emotions don't have purpose to make you feel bad, they are here to help you to better adapt to your environment. Pleasant ones mean that you are well adapted. Simple as that. Also I would like to add that on the topic of happiness and other stuff related to positive psychology there is an excellent course from prof. Tal Ben-Shahar.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#45

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

I'm not sure why the focus has to be on whether or not self-help books are helpful?

After reading what he wrote, my takeaway was that he's sharing things he's discovered about himself. What's being cited may have come from self-help books, but he's doing it to show evidence of what it is that has helped him come to each realization about himself. He is by no means marketing these self-help books, or pushing us to believe in the potential of self-help books. He's just stating what works for him, and asking people to share what works for them. Parents who love their kids can say things like, "I drop my kids off at school every morning." It's the same thing.

Take away all mentions of being "happy", replace it with "productive," and remove the citations he makes. What you're left with is something I believe a lot of people do as well regardless of it's conscious correlation to happiness.

As long as what he does helps him achieve his goals (without causing harm to himself or those around him), then all the power to him. I don't think we have any right to attack him for it.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#46
I have two issues with this advice. One is, it's incredibly robotic. The same routine every day, the same times doing the same things, the same route every evening. Basically he is creating boredom. I have no trouble believing that it makes the st of his life more interesting. Would I want to follow that? Hardly. Responding to my environment, doing unexpected things, improvisation, these are things that make me happy. I get bored doing the same thing twice, there is no way on earth I joule be able to robotically do the same freaking routine every day.

Second: this life advice clearly comes from someone without a family. I read some comments stating that his routine is conductive to a family friendly life style, and in theory it is. But young children do not care about theory. They have dreams, don't want to sleep yet, throw up, get sick and a million more things. Every one of which would ruin this guy's schedule. Also, he never goes out, a movie or dinner? There's never a concert in town? Friends and family to visit?

Seriously, it's advice from a person with no social contacts (IRL) who has discovered bliss by living like a monk. Thanks, but no thanks.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#47

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

"There is a real correlation between a society that tells people that you can do anything and the existence of low self esteem."

5:20 @ http://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_ph...

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#48
post #43

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

"I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy." I don't think the OP is doing what you imply he is doing. He is merely listing things he does that work for him. And some of the things listed I agree with and do (sleep, exercise) but getting up early and going to bed early is not. "the people most into self-help books" From my personal expe…

I think you missed your parent's point. I don't think his comment was a knock against the OP at all or even that he implied that Joel's list was some kind of self help advice along the lines of those "6 essential things to make you happy" type books. It seems that Joel's post only reminded him of such nonsense and he commented about that and not the actual post.

I know where he's coming from too. I really liked this post and enjoy all of Joel's writing but every now and then I see enough happiness advice on the front page that I get burnout from it and am reminded of all the crappy, empty advice there is.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#49
post #5

At the risk of going completely off topic and being all philosophical: Can someone explain to me what 'being happy' means? I have consistently failed to answer anyone who asked me if I was happy or not. All I can say is that I am content or not. Which, for me, means that I am satisfied with the situation I am in. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it and do not have to be bothered by things that do not int…

According to the hedonistic view: "Happiness, understood as enjoyment is indeed a good candidate for an intrinsic value. ... It's worth pursuing for its own sake, it's valuable in its own right."

But happiness doesn't equal good life, there'are many different approaches to achieving it. I think "The fundamentals of Ethics" by R. Shafer Landau summarizes best the most important ethical theories.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#50
I find it somewhat interesting how often people profess that their key to happiness essentially boils down to living the sort of "good life" that in many ways is the Christian ideal, regardless of whether or not they are personally religious.

Although there are habits and rituals that can lead to a more positive outlook, such as exercising regularly, there are deeper aspects to this way of life. This includes helping others, which is featured in this article, but also includes dealing with others fairly and honestly (aka the Golden Rule), being willing to put others above yourself (at least part of the time), optimizing for long-term gain (the religious may be looking beyond death but there's also value in a somewhat shorter view), and so on.

Add in hard work and self-betterment ("Learn new skills") and it's not just a Christian outlook, it's downright Protestant.

But given the complexity of human nature, surely there are other ways to be happy. One option, generally only successfully exercised by the very rich, is to engage in constant luxurious pleasure. In spite of the fact that a majority of the planet's humans likely would be happy to adopt this way of life, we're told that the individuals who do are not actually happy and would be better off living like hard-working American Protestants.

At the other extreme is asceticism, which supposedly can lead to a life of satisfaction and contentment, if not happiness, but it generally seems to be a case of extreme long-term optimization, with little if anything in the way of short-term rewards. In any case, it's not a realistic life choice for me, since I have a family and no desire to leave them behind to live in a desert monastery.

So besides living the life of a monk, living the Protestant work ethic, and living the life of a dissolute jetsetter, what else is there that seems to offer a convincing chance at happiness?

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