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Things I do to be consistently happy

joel.is

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Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#11

Post by exch »

elmuchoprez wrote: post #9
il wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aren't those all examples of things that you do have a great amount of control over? I personally feel like I've already won the lottery for all of the things I have no control over: living in a wealthy country, not having to worry about food or water, being reasonably healthy and having access to healthcare, etc.

"I personally feel like I've already won the lottery for all of the things I have no control over: living in a wealthy country, not having to worry about food or water, being reasonably healthy and having access to healthcare, etc." Do you actually feel like you've "won the lottery" or do you just try to remind yourself how lucky you are? I've read a number of studies that suggest we internally compare our status rel…

I think this also has to do with your own experiences in life so far.

I can identify with il's point in that regard. My life so far has had its share of downs. So now that everything is going well, I keep being reminded of the importance of having the simple things in life and how I am very lucky to have a roof over my head, a decent meal every day and close friends I care about and who care about me. As far as that goes, I do actually feel I have won the lottery. What else could I possibly want or need?

All this has completely done away with any sense of ambition I had years ago. back then, I had to have a high paying job, fancy gadgets and everything that came with 'being successful' (or so I thought). I have now realized that none of this matters even a tiny bit. To me at least it is all completely irrelevant. I learned to take nothing for granted and its the simple things I mentioned which make it all worth it for me.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#12

Post by stavrianos »

exch wrote: post #5

At the risk of going completely off topic and being all philosophical: Can someone explain to me what 'being happy' means? I have consistently failed to answer anyone who asked me if I was happy or not. All I can say is that I am content or not. Which, for me, means that I am satisfied with the situation I am in. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it and do not have to be bothered by things that do not int…

Happiness is a fairly broad category of mental states, which encompasses contentment. Happiness is linked to both a set of internal subjective feelings (impossible to describe, as there's no reference point. See also: the color red), and to a particular set of external behaviours which are consistent across the majority of humans (smiling, laughing, etc). If I wanted to communicate the internal subjective experience of happiness, I'd do it the same way I would the subjective experience of a color- I'd wait until I saw you experiencing it, and then I'd say "That feeling, right there. That's happiness." This is easier with colors, because I could just point to one, but it works with emotions too.

Much like yourself, I tend to think of happiness as a barometer of sorts. If I'm unhappy, it means that something's wrong which needs fixing. It's not hard to see how this perspective can be reversed, though. To say that I seek to be happy and I do so by finding/building a satisfactory environment, or to say that I seek a satisfactory environment and I gauge this via happiness- in practical terms these perspectives are indistinguishable.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#13

Post by GuiA »

leftnode wrote: post #10
csallen wrote: post #3

I'm curious how many programmers find themselves most productive at specific times of the day. Personally, I'm by far the most productive late at night, in 1am - 4am territory. The primary reason is that there are fewer distractions. The news cycle has slowed, my FB news feed is all but dead, I'm not receiving any emails/calls/chats, my roommates are asleep, and it's too late to accomplish chores like shopping or doi…

It's funny you call that late at night, I call it early in the morning. But I totally agree with you. I wake up daily at 3:10 and can get about 3 or 4 hours of good uninterrupted work done. It's also a great time to go to the gym because few else are there.

What time do you go to bed? Or are you in polyphasic sleep?

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#15

Post by jwm »

leftnode wrote: post #10
csallen wrote: post #3

I'm curious how many programmers find themselves most productive at specific times of the day. Personally, I'm by far the most productive late at night, in 1am - 4am territory. The primary reason is that there are fewer distractions. The news cycle has slowed, my FB news feed is all but dead, I'm not receiving any emails/calls/chats, my roommates are asleep, and it's too late to accomplish chores like shopping or doi…

It's funny you call that late at night, I call it early in the morning. But I totally agree with you. I wake up daily at 3:10 and can get about 3 or 4 hours of good uninterrupted work done. It's also a great time to go to the gym because few else are there.

How do you find this kind of routine meshes with the sleeping patterns of your social circle? I've always been interested in trying something like this, just to see what it's like.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#16

Post by JosephRedfern »

Surely happiness is relative? I'm sure that many people who we think of as having shitty lives often feel "happy". If you're "consistently happy", then doesn't that just become the norm? To me, happiness is the peaks from the "norm" - if I was consistently happy, then I'd have to re-define what happy meant to me.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#17

Post by nostromo »

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy.

In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be helpful either.

edit: I meant this as a light-hearted observation, not as a put-down to anyone who finds self-help helpful. :) I do think however that it's possible to become less happy by trying to over-optimize every moment of your life.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#18

Post by Marcan »

nostromo wrote: post #17

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy. In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be…

"Correlation doesn't prove causation"

Exactly.

In the case of these unhappy people you know, perhaps the very fact that they're unhappy leads them to seek knowledge and solace in these self-help books and articles.

Re: Things I do to be consistently happy

#19

Post by mahyarm »

exch wrote: post #5

At the risk of going completely off topic and being all philosophical: Can someone explain to me what 'being happy' means? I have consistently failed to answer anyone who asked me if I was happy or not. All I can say is that I am content or not. Which, for me, means that I am satisfied with the situation I am in. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it and do not have to be bothered by things that do not int…

To me, 'being happy' is a vague, categorical, unfocused term like 'good', 'positive', 'introvert', or 'extrovert'. You can go into specific behaviors and feelings and then it makes a lot more sense.

For example, the author could be 'happy' in most areas of his life, but the choices he made in his life could make his dating life harder (if he's single) and he finds he's less 'happy' in that area.

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