I'm a smoker. I only complain about waiting if I've waited in the place where smoking is not allowed.
Why Waiting Is Torture
31–40 of 49 posts
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#32There's a crucial social aspect of queuing that the article doesn't discuss - it makes you feel like a punter. It puts you in your place. And it's far worse when you're in a tiered situation - such as having to board a flight after business passengers, or being kept waiting outside a nightclub whilst some beautiful people are waived past the velvet rope. Perhaps the thing about walking through the airport isn't so mu…
What most people fail to ever figure out is that this social-status hack (velvet-roped queues) has a lifespan.
In the nightclub industry, people understand this. They create artificial barriers to entry so that, when people get in, they spend loads of money "on the experience" because they feel lucky and perhaps a bit superstitious. It works for a few months and makes an enormous amount of money.
Two years later, some other club is hot and that one is a non-concern, full of "B&T" (bridge and tunnel, i.e. non-New Yorkers) and college kids on spring break. There's actually a lot of truth in the Yogi Berra quote: "That place is so crowded, no one goes there anymore." Once "the crowd" can get in, no one important wants to be there, and the $10,000-per-night people have moved on. A nightclubs has a lifespan. The owners and promoters put it into maintenance mode and start another one. This works extremely well for that industry. If you can sell a $30 bottle of vodka for $700, you've figured something out. Having to start a new club every 18 months isn't a major burden for the owners and promoters. It's the Hollywood model of starting a new project every year.
This works poorly for the airlines, which have infrastructural needs that require them to focus on the long term. The airlines play similar status games. There's economy which is deliberately uncomfortable, and first/business (first in domestic flight, business) which ought to be 1.5x the price (50% more space) but is between 1x and 5x depending on a bunch of weird variables, some of which are deliberately indexed to the person's socioeconomic status. You never get a good sense of what a ticket "should" cost because they deliberately keep it vague.
In the long run, this leads to abandon. Truly high-status people don't use commercial airlines anymore, not even international first. The rest will fly commercial but hate the experience, and would probably ditch the planes in a second if we had decent (250+ mph, 5-8 cents per mile) train service like they have in Europe. Morale in the industry is at an all-time low. As soon as credible alternatives to the mainline commercial airlines exist, they're done for.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#33I think that the fight-or-flight instinct has a lot to do with this. When you wait in line, you're in an architectural non-place so your guard is up, and you have someone right behind you at your back.
One thing almost every office plan gets wrong (unless intimidation is part of the design) is open-back visibility. It makes people stressed and unhappy and less productive than they could otherwise be, but a lot of offices use this style of plan because it's cheapest.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#34Earlier quoted context omitted.
Personally, to the contrary. With a smart device you'll end up going and doing something all the time , and you get used to that keeping you going and going through the day. And this means you never stop doing and start being. I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I neve…
> I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. My smartphone has only one essential function. Provide access to the internet. I consider that a necessity. Apparently you do too or I wouldn't be reading your comment. > I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I can understand not wanting to be connected all the time. H…
On the latter point, I find it useful to disconnect to read and take notes sometimes. I find that if the internet is available, any resistance/difficulty in thought results in an instinctive impulse towards alt+tab (or the mobile equivalent). Whereas if I'm sitting out in the park with a book and notepad and I run into a stumbling block, I just stare into the distance, or maybe walk around a bit, until something comes to me.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#35The statements in the article are not universal. In fact they are heavily biased towards the US culture. If you ever think of traveling to Asia or Europe, here are some thoughts -
I remember a cartoon showing the difference between waiting lines in the US vs. China: an orderly serial line here, an amorphic mass of dots all aiming for the one entrance there. Europe is somewhere in between. Queues are like little war zones where everyone aims to achieve their goal the first. I remember when I was in a ski club (in Germany) how we were exchanging techniques on how to get on the lift first: take the outer part of the curve. Even better, pair up so that one can slowly move inwards so that your mate who follows you can overtake you and continue in the same manner (this works only with skis, however, which are used as barriers). I remember queuing at a certain nightclub which didn't have a serial queuing line. The best strategy there was to stand sideways which allowed you to better fill the little gaps that sometimes appear as people move in the bulk. In general, as an American traveling to Europe, I would recommend to do as the Romans do and regard queuing as sport. Don't call out to people who are cutting the line, they will usually not do it either if you try - but be smart enough to appear as it was just by accident.
But there are signs of change. The single-queue system has only appeared about 20 years ago and is called the "American queue". Post offices and airports have switched to this system. It's definitely an improvement.
I was amazed when I first stayed in the US how patient people were standing in line, but even more, how many lines there were. I would say you're waiting about twice as much in lines in the US than in Europe. The queuing experience here is just so unpleasant that people try to avoid them overall. A grocery store chain has big signs for the employees to open up a new cash desk should more than 2 customers wait in line. In most cases machines have taken over jobs for which you would usually stand in line, and then they put up enough machines so that you don't have to wait. I have hardly ever waited to get into a movie theater (seats are bought online and are numbered) or to get train tickets (lots of ticket machines). At Schloss Neuschwanstein (the original "Disney Castle") you order a ticket for a certain time and can spend the waiting time in a restaurant or hiking the surrounding mountains. The list could go on. To me it is quite unbelievable that Disney doesn't do it this way in its parks. And it very odd to me to go skiing in the US where they rather hire workers to organize the queues instead of increasing lift capacity.
These days however after having read a lot about meditation I see queues as a great opportunity to switch off thinking. When was the last time you spend a while listening to your breathing? Marvel at the colors of your surroundings? Watch yourselves as your mind desparetely tries to find something to think about? I'm trying to do this now whenever I have to wait. Unless I'm distracted by my smart phone, of course...
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#36Earlier quoted context omitted.
Personally, to the contrary. With a smart device you'll end up going and doing something all the time , and you get used to that keeping you going and going through the day. And this means you never stop doing and start being. I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I neve…
> I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. My smartphone has only one essential function. Provide access to the internet. I consider that a necessity. Apparently you do too or I wouldn't be reading your comment. > I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I can understand not wanting to be connected all the time. H…
> I consider that a necessity. Apparently you do too or I wouldn't be reading your comment.
This doesn't follow. Commenting on HN doesn't imply that the commenter requires the internet. It doesn't even imply that the commenter likes the internet or thinks that overall it is a net-gain.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#37My smartphone has changed the way I feel about waiting. Instead of dismay I now can look forward to a lengthy pause. It never really feels like waiting for me anymore. Unless it's in my car and I can't use my smartphone. Another exception is when I am with people and it is socially unacceptable for me to focus on my phone. If we have nothing interesting to talk about, the wait is as painful as ever, perhaps even wors…
Personally, to the contrary. With a smart device you'll end up going and doing something all the time , and you get used to that keeping you going and going through the day. And this means you never stop doing and start being. I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I neve…
> "it's the time to be, it's time for myself"
This seems like a weird and arbitrary use of the word be that is not defined in the dictionary that I have. So I do not understand what it is you are saying.
When it's time for myself I like to use my smartphone. Because it's interesting to me. I can read interesting articles, I can distract myself with books, catch up on emails and online discussions. I like these things. I can also choose to not use my smartphone if I'm not interested in what my phone has to offer. Owning a smartphone does not mean I am required to use it, but not owning a smartphone makes it impossible to use one if you wanted to.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#38For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard. And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle? They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive. So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first. And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny. But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny. And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house, Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day. But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee. Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good? So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.
— Matthew 20:1–16, King James Version
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
Personally, to the contrary. With a smart device you'll end up going and doing something all the time , and you get used to that keeping you going and going through the day. And this means you never stop doing and start being. I don't have a smartphone and I probably won't get one until I need some of its functions desperately enough. I like waiting and doing nothing: it's the time to be, it's time for myself. I neve…
> "it's the time to be, it's time for myself" This seems like a weird and arbitrary use of the word be that is not defined in the dictionary that I have. So I do not understand what it is you are saying. When it's time for myself I like to use my smartphone. Because it's interesting to me. I can read interesting articles, I can distract myself with books, catch up on emails and online discussions. I like these things…
Being yourself is the time where you're thoughtful and analyzing the information that's already in your head, instead of desperately probing the world for something you might have missed from someone else. At least that's how I see it.
If I put you into a refrigerator box with pencils, pens, watercolors, paper, and light, then after a day cut a slot in it, what you passed out to me would be you.
The vast majority of people spend the vast majority of their time lazily consuming the synthesis of others, getting vicarious doses of the feeling of discovery, a pale imitation of actual, original discovery through reflection on what they have already incorporated into themselves.
th-d;dr* information consumption without reflection isn't learning, it's cataloging. Proper consumption/reflection ratio: 1:10, median: 100:1.
*too hippy-dippy; didn't read.
Re: Why Waiting Is Torture
#40I don't mind waiting in line so far as things in front are progressing efficiently.
In my current culture (MA, USA), there's little punishment available for inefficiency, such as taking a long time to pay, or deciding on an order for food. You can give someone a dirty stare, but that's about it.
Some cultures do punish explicitly. For example, if you hold up a line in NYC mid-day ordering lunch, staff yells at you to hurry up, and may even kick you out. A harsh but effective message. Their other queued customers are being inconvenienced by your inefficiency. They'll walk out and go get lunch next door. Fire one and keep many.
Other cultures are different. In Costa Rica, an extremely laid back environment, customer service takes 2-3 times as long. It might take you 60-90 minutes to pickup a rental car at the airport even if you're the only person in line. People don't mind waiting. Slow is the norm.
Waiting is torture, welcome, whatever, if you let it. Your environment influences your decision, but it still remains your decision to choose.